Colby sipped his coffee, and once again she noted the lines of fatigue that marked his eyes and mouth.
“Rough day?”
He nodded. “I lost a patient. Joanne Murphy. She died this afternoon in surgery. We knew there was a risk, but …” He shrugged heavily. “No matter how often it happens, I never get used to it.”
“I’m so sorry, Colby.” Her hand slid over to his in a gesture of friendship and support.
His fingers gripped hers as if to absorb the comfort and consolation she offered. At the feel of his hand closing over hers, Valerie felt a thrill of happiness, and even more inexplicably, a sense of rightness. She didn’t know how else to describe it. Yet almost immediately, the doubts and uncertainties flowed into her mind.
They were friends, nothing more, she reminded herself. And very recent friends at that. Neither of them was looking for anything else. Neither of them wanted anything else. But if that was really the case, why would she experience this deep ache of longing? For one impulsive moment she yearned to throw herself into his arms, rest her head against his shoulder and immerse herself in his strength. Lend him hers.
Valerie decided she had to ignore these uncharacteristic sensations. She withdrew her hand, hoping he wouldn’t notice its trembling.
“I’d better get back before Norah wonders where I am,” she said firmly. Valerie knew she was a woman who needed to be in control, who looked at a problem from all angles and worked toward the most favorable solution. But Colby Winston wasn’t a problem to be solved. He was a man who left her feeling vulnerable and confused.
She was already on her feet, briefcase in one hand, laptop in the other, when Colby spoke. “Don’t leave … not yet.” His voice was low, hesitant.
Valerie stared at him, unsure whether to stay or go.
“Oh, never mind.” Colby shook his head, eyes suddenly guarded. “Actually, I should be leaving myself,” he said quickly, bounding to his feet. He drank down several gulps of coffee, then strode out of the cafeteria, with Valerie close behind.
“Colby.” She stopped him in front of the elevator. “What is it you don’t like about me?” The question was out before she had time to analyze the wisdom of asking.
“I do like you,” he answered, frowning.
“But you wouldn’t want to marry someone like me?”
“No,” he agreed calmly. “I wouldn’t want to marry someone like you.”
“Because?” Valerie wasn’t sure why she continued to probe, why it was necessary for her to understand his reasons. She only knew that she felt a compelling urge to ask.
“You have a brilliant future ahead of you,” he said, not meeting her eyes. “Your father’s proud of your accomplishments, and rightly so. I admire your drive, your ambition, your ability.”
“But.” She said it before he could. There had to be a but in there somewhere.
“But,” he said with the slightest hint of a smile. “I’m not interested in getting involved with an up-and-coming female executive. When I commit myself to a woman and a relationship, I want someone who’s more … traditional. Someone who’ll consider making our home and rearing our children her career.”
“I see.” He was wise to acknowledge that she wasn’t the type who’d be content to sit quietly by the fireplace and spin her own yarn. No, Valerie would soon figure out how to have that yarn mass-produced, then see about franchising it into a profit-making enterprise. Business was in her blood, the same way medicine was in his.
“I don’t mean to offend you,” he said.
“You haven’t,” she assured him, and it was the truth.
The elevator arrived and they stepped inside together. Neither spoke as Colby pushed the appropriate button. The doors silently glided shut.
Valerie wished they weren’t alone. It seemed so intimate, so private, just the two of them standing there.
“Valerie, listen …”
“It’s okay,” she said, smiling up at him. “Really. I asked, didn’t I? That’s how I am. You were honest with me, and I appreciate that. It’s true I’m attracted to you, but that’s probably fairly common in our circumstances, since you saved my father’s life and all. Being attracted doesn’t mean I’m in love with you.”
“I know, it’s just that—” He broke off hastily, his eyes probing hers. “Oh, what the hell,” he murmured, the words so low that Valerie had to strain to hear him. Then his hands were taking hold of her shoulders and drawing her toward him. His mouth unerringly found hers and without conscious intent, she responded to his kiss, feeling none of the awkwardness she experienced with other men. The kiss was much like the man. Warm, deliberate, devastating.
She heard a soft moan from the back of her throat.
His head shifted restlessly before he released her. He dropped his arms, looking completely shocked. Valerie didn’t know what had distressed him most—the fact that he’d kissed her or that he’d enjoyed it.
“Valerie, I.” Her name was a whisper.
Just then the elevator doors opened, and Colby cast an accusing glare at the nurse who entered. Grabbing Valerie’s hand, he jerked her onto the floor before the elevator doors closed again.
“This isn’t CCU,” she protested, glancing around. Good grief, they were on the maternity floor. Down the hall, a row of newborns was on display behind a glass partition.
But Colby didn’t give her a chance to get a closer look. Still holding her hand, he led her to the stairwell. He held open the door, then released her and dashed up the steps. He was halfway up the first flight before he seemed to realize she was no longer beside him. He turned back impatiently.
“Colby,” she objected. “If you want to run up the stairs, fine, but you’re in better physical condition than I am. I sit at a desk most of the day, remember?”
“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“What, racing up the stairs?”
“No, kissing you!”
“It was nice enough, as kisses go,” she said, out of breath from the exertion, “but don’t worry, you won’t have to marry me because of a simple kiss.” The only way she could deal with this experience was to deny how strongly it affected her, push aside these unfamiliar, unwelcome feelings. She suspected that was how Colby felt, too.
“Our kiss may have been a lot of things, but simple wasn’t one of them,” he muttered.
“You’re worrying too much about something that really isn’t important.”
His eyes held such a quizzical expression that Valerie continued talking. “You’re tired, and so am I,” she said, making excuses for them both. “We’re under a great deal of stress. You’ve had a long, discouraging day and your guard slipped a little,” she went on. “My being so pushy didn’t help, either. You kissed me, but it isn’t the end of the world.”
“It won’t happen again.” He spoke with absolute certainty.
Pride stiffened Valerie’s shoulders. “That’s probably for the best.” Colby was right. Her personality was all wrong for someone like him. A doctor’s work was emotionally demanding and physically draining; she couldn’t blame him for seeking a wife who’d create a warm cocoon of domesticity for him. A home filled with comfort and love and peace. Valerie couldn’t fault his preference.