What?
I don’t know if I should tell you.
Tell me what?
You have to promise not to freak out.
Well now I’m bound to freak out!
Loren was talking about being out last night; she said she saw Rule and the boys at whatever club she was at.
Oh my God …
Yeah, well she mentioned she was going to try to talk to him or whatever because she’s a clueless slut, but he had some redhead hanging all over him. She said she couldn’t even get close to him.
Fuck.
Yeah, well, she also said he left with her, the redhead, I mean. She said the whole gang of them left together and she is a heinous gossip and likes to cause trouble but I figure you should have a heads-up since you can’t get a hold of him.
Thanks.
You okay?
No, not at all.
Want me to hurt him for you?
Maybe. I’ll call you later after I get through this stupid dinner. Love ya, girl.
You, too. xoxo
I swiped a finger across the screen and took a second to hold my breath before letting it out in a furious screech and chucking the expensive device against the wall with a satisfying crunch. I buried my head in my hands and tried to keep from throwing up. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had had everything I ever wanted for just a few seconds and all it took was one single bump, one tiny disagreement, to screw it all up. It shouldn’t hurt that I was so easily and quickly replaced. I knew Rule, knew how he operated, but I still felt like someone was poking holes in the very fiber of my soul with a scalding-hot poker. Being in love with Rule had never been an easy thing to do, and now that I knew what it was like to actually love him I wasn’t sure how to go back to before.
I spent the rest of the afternoon sequestered in my room. My mother sent one of the staff up to see if I wanted lunch but I refused to answer the door when they knocked. She sent her husband up around five to tell me that we were leaving in an hour for the club, and while a big part of me wanted nothing more than to wear skinny jeans and my motorcycle boots, I decided that having that fight with my mother in front of my half siblings would just make me seem childish and ridiculous, so I put on a long-sleeved white and purple A-line dress that hit me a few inches above my knees and spent a few minutes flat-ironing my hair so that it fell in a slick curtain around my shoulders. I had a pair of purple booties that had spiked heels and little studs on the back that completed the look. It wasn’t exactly picture-perfect country club gear, but it should get me through the front door without too much trouble.
My mother gave me the evil eye as I came down the stairs, and Jack helped me into my gray pea coat. No one said anything as we piled into the family Escalade and headed to the country club. The kids jibber jabbered back and forth and I brooded about Rule and some unknown redhead, hoping it didn’t mean what I thought it did and willed the car to get a flat tire so I could avoid Gabe and his family. It didn’t happen, and when we got to the club and I had to force a smile and let Gabe kiss my cheek and pull out my chair, it literally took every single ounce of willpower I had not to run screaming in the other direction. I settled in between Gabe and my mother and prepared to suffer through the most awkward, awful dinner of my life.
CHAPTER 9
Rule
“So you want to come clean and tell me why you’re acting like even more of an asshole this week than normal?” Rome was standing over me while I bench-pressed the weight up off my chest. He had asked me to go to the gym on Saturday because he was supposed to start rehabbing his shoulder. Even banged up my brother was cut, and working out with him put me to shame. I spent most of the workout trying not to flinch when I noticed how much more weight he was using than I normally did. Once the bar was locked in place I sat up and ran a towel over my sweaty face and newly shaved head. I hadn’t cut it all the way to the scalp like Nash wore his, but the Mohawk was gone and all I was left with was dark stubble all across my head. With my eyebrow rings and the tattoos that climbed up my neck I thought it made me look a little like an escaped prisoner.
“Not really.” I followed Rome as he moved over to the set of free weights and started hefting one back and forth with his bad arm. It still bothered him because he winced each time he retracted and extended but he didn’t complain and just kept up the reps. I should tell him I was all bent out of shape over Shaw; he would probably have really good advice to give me, since I was pretty sure I was on a path bound to screw up something that was turning out to be amazingly good. When he’d left Wednesday to take her to dinner it had taken everything I could do not to tackle him and demand to know if she had asked about me and if she was doing okay. Then I remembered I was purposely not answering her text messages or returning her calls and figured I would just leave it be.
His eyes met mine in the mirror as his face twisted into a tight grimace of pain. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with why Shaw looked like a freaking ghost on Wednesday when I saw her, would it?”
“Why would you think one thing had to do with the other?”
“Because I’m not stupid. She’s had a thing for you for a while and I figured it was only a matter of time before you got your head far enough out of your ass to see it. Plus, both of you have been staring at your phones for the last week like they hold all the answers to the universe and looking like kicked puppies when they don’t have on them whatever it was you’re looking for.”
I swore and worried my lip ring with my tongue. “You’re really gonna be cool if I tell you Shaw and I have been hooking up? Or are you going to hurt me?”
“As long as it’s more than hooking up I will be cool as hell. Shaw isn’t one of your one-night stands, and if you’re treating her like she is I’ll break both your legs.”
I scowled at him and flipped him off in the mirror. “What do you mean she’s been into me for a while? She got hammered one night and things got heated and I couldn’t stop it from happening, so I figured, why not roll with it? I like her. I mean I like spending time with her. She’s fun but she’s always so busy and this weekend she went back to Brookside with her weirdo ex because her mom told her to. I just don’t know if I can hang out with someone like that. She’s twenty years old, she should be living her own life, not bowing down to her parents’ every whim.”
“So let me guess: Instead of having a rational, reasonable conversation with her about it where you laid out your concerns, you probably just shut her out and refused to talk to her while you seethed and festered in your own anger.”
I shrugged a shoulder.
“Rule, Shaw has known you for a long time. Can you imagine what she’s thinking you’re out doing while you’re ignoring her? Come on, brother, use your head for one bloody second. Is it worth it to ruin it all before you even get it started? That girl sees you, I mean really sees you, and I think she has since the very beginning when everyone was always looking around you to see Remy. You need to stop being stubborn and make things right with her.”
“She went with her ex, Rome.”
“Yeah, and you went out last night and let some skank shove her tongue down your throat. Not everyone operates off the same script, Rule. Most people want to make their parents happy, want to have them approve of what they are doing with their lives. Not everyone can burn every bridge the way you do. Most people want a way back home.”
I cringed a little because his words