I stood and brushed the dirt off my shorts while Dad pulled open the glove box in the van and rummaged inside. With his hand behind his back, he walked to where I stood in front of the van. Then he held out a thin package as long as an envelope wrapped in brown paper. “For you. From your mom and me.”
“Mom?” My eyes widened.
“Well, yes. And no. She doesn’t know I bought it, of course.”
My smile returned. At first all I could do was stare blankly at the package, too startled to open it. It wasn’t every day I got a present, especially when it wasn’t my birthday.
“Open it, Fred. Go on, now. It’s for you.”
Finally, I accepted the gift from Dad. I took my time tearing off the wrapping paper and laid it on the hood. Openmouthed, I stared as a piece of leather as luscious as butter fell into my hand. The leather was white with pale pink accents around a mother-of-pearl button.
“It’s not a pair of golf shoes, not yet. But you needed a new golf glove, too.” Dad stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his overalls so that only his thumbs showed.
Speechless, I tried on my new glove. It slipped easily over my hand. I snapped the button at the wrist and then stretched my fingers and clenched my fist, testing the leather.
“Golf pro at the clubhouse said that one’s the best. Size small, too, just what you needed. Now you’ll be able to grip your clubs a whole lot better,” he added when I didn’t say anything. His eyes narrowed. “Do you like it?”
I swallowed back a lump growing in the back of my throat. “Like it? It’s perfect,” I whispered. Then I wrapped my arms around Dad, not saying another word. One more syllable and I would have started blubbering, and crying made Dad all fidgety, like he didn’t know what to say.
Dad patted my back when I didn’t release him right away. “Now, now, Fred. It’s just a glove,” he said in my ear.
Just a glove.
I sniffed back a tear and then pulled away reluctantly, still unable to speak.
“New beginnings, Fred. Greet them with your eyes wide open. Don’t forget that. That’s what that old mother falcon told me this morning.” Dad’s forefinger pointed to the cloudless sky, as if that golden-brown bird circled somewhere above us, eavesdropping.
“I won’t,” I said finally, unable to look away from my new glove. Suddenly a new pair of golf shoes seemed unimportant, at least for today.
Tomorrow I could think differently.
* * *
The next morning, Dad dropped me and my golf bag off in front of Lone Butte High School, along with Sam Tracy and Peter Begay, who’d ridden in the backseat. Pete’s dad had overslept and couldn’t get them to school in time, and they’d been thinking about ditching until we saw them hanging out at the gas station by the freeway. Dad had insisted they hop in.
“Thanks for the ride, Mr. Oday,” Sam said, turning to me.
“Next time, call if you need one,” Dad said. “It’s no trouble.”
Sam nodded. “Need help with your bag, Fred?”
“No. I can manage. Thanks anyway.”
Sam hitched his backpack higher on his shoulder, looking doubtfully at my golf bag lying in the back of the van. “See you around.”
“Later,” I said as I walked around to the back door and retrieved it.
Dad pulled away, leaving me alone at the curb. And I felt alone. Really alone. Like only-person-in-the-universe alone. I realized, too late, that maybe I’d been too quick to refuse Sam’s offer.
The air had grown so thick that I wondered if the sun had swallowed all of the oxygen. My plaid bag made being inconspicuous impossible. It might have been my anxious imagination, but I felt tracked by a thousand pairs of beady eyes in the front of the school. They peered at me from everywhere, even the windows.
Head lowered, I struggled to keep from hyperventilating as I carved a path through the crowd toward the rear gymnasium door. The back door was supposed to take me to the coaches’ offices, exactly as Coach Lannon had instructed. But to get there, I had to trudge down a narrow sidewalk lined with students all vying for spots in the courtyard where the popular kids hung out. Up ahead, I saw Sam’s and Pete’s dark heads, but they were too far away for me to catch up—not unless I started running with my golf bag thumping against my back. Why not present me with the Biggest Dork Award and get it over with?
* * *
It felt like the first fifteen minutes of freshman year all over again, only worse. Despite my best efforts, I felt my cheeks burn all the way down to my neck.
“Plaid much?” someone murmured while another girl giggled beside her. With wide eyes, they looked me up and down like I was sale merchandise.
I didn’t stop to argue. What was the point? The bag was hideous.
So instead I kept my head down, walked faster and focused on the bottom of my shoes as they slapped against the pavement.
One, two, three... I counted each step as I absently twisted my hair into a roll to give my free hand something useful to do, all the while ignoring more giggling and hushed voices. It seemed forever before I reached the end of the courtyard and another narrow sidewalk that took me to the rear gymnasium door.
The gray metal door had a sign that said No Admittance, but I pulled on the handle anyway.
It didn’t budge.
I moaned. Then I tried again.
Locked.
I knocked hard till it made a hollow sound.
No answer.
My stomach sank. Maybe Trevor was right. Maybe this was a mistake.
But I’d just die if I had to walk all the way to the front of the school again, and what about my bag? It wouldn’t fit inside my locker, and forget about calling Dad. He’d never leave work, not unless I was being rushed to the hospital or something.
I sucked back another breath, feeling stupid for banging on a locked door, but I knocked again anyway. This time with a balled fist.
Miraculously, the door opened and my breathing resumed.
“Fred.” Coach Lannon smiled before opening the heavy door as wide as it would go. “So glad you didn’t change your mind.”
I nodded and tried to match his enthusiasm, but smiling only made my cheeks feel like they would crack. I slipped through the door and waited for Coach Lannon to lead the way down the bright hallway. I’d never seen this part of the school before. It was one colorless office door after another separated by gray-speckled linoleum tiles and pale yellow walls. The hallway smelled like the girls’ locker room, musty and thick, almost as heavy as the air outside.
Coach Lannon stopped at the second door on the right side of a wide hallway. “You can leave your bag in my office during the week,” he said. “Some of the other boys have already been by to drop off theirs.”
My back stiffened.
Although I was anxious to get started, I wasn’t ready to meet my new teammates. I’d already lost sleep imagining what they’d think about me, the lone girl on the team. Would it be too weird?
“And don’t worry. Your bag is always safe in here.”
An anxious chuckle rumbled inside my chest as the coach took my bag. Someone steal my plaid bag and rusty clubs? Not likely.
I quickly scanned his office. Besides his desk and the other golf bags stacked against the wall, there was barely any room to stand. His desk was littered with folders, but