Jim nodded. “Yeah, sure, ask her.”
“Can we take her to the King Kone for burgers and fries?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
Jim stood in the middle of the living room in his duplex rental and savored the moment. Thanks, Dad. Two simple little words that meant the world to Jim. Did a lot of other divorced dads endure the same guilt and anger that plagued him? Did these other weekend fathers cherish every minute with their kids the way he did?
Enjoy this time with Kevin. It’ll come to an end soon enough, once Mary Lee recovers and sends for him. The selfish side of Jim’s nature wished Mary Lee would decide she couldn’t deal with being a cancer survivor and handle a soon-to-be-teenage son. If only she would allow Kevin to stay here with him. Yeah, and that would happen about the same time he’d be able to go ice skating in hell.
The “what-if ” game was a waste of time. “What if ” and “if only” were Jim’s old friends. He’d spent too much time with them over the years. What if he’d been able to play pro ball? If only he hadn’t married Mary Lee. What if his partner on the Memphis PD hadn’t been murdered? If only Mary Lee hadn’t cheated on him.
Jim walked into his bedroom, flipped on the bedside lamp, undid his belt, and jerked out his shirttail. He went over to the chest of drawers, opened the top drawer and removed a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. After unscrewing the cap, he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a swig, blew out a hot breath and then wiped his mouth. His knees ached, but then they always ached. The pain had become a part of him. If Kevin wasn’t staying with him, he’d be tempted to down the whole bottle of whiskey tonight. Getting drunk would not only ease the continuous ache in his knees, but it would erase the memories of all his failures. As a football hero, as a partner, as a husband, as a father, as a man.
Jim took a second swig, then recapped the bottle and returned it to the top drawer. He sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed the back of his neck.
Don’t look back. Don’t think about past failures. Think about the opportunities you have now to be a good father and a top-notch chief deputy.
After removing his shoes and socks, he lay down atop his unmade bed and rested his head on his pillow. He stared up at the ceiling, then closed his eyes.
“Dad? Dad?”
Jim heard Kevin’s voice, but couldn’t quite come out of the sleepy fog.
“Huh?” Jim managed to open his eyes and search for his son.
Kevin stood in the doorway. “Dad, are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. I just dozed off for a couple of minutes.”
“I’m going to bed now. See you in the morning.”
Jim sat up and lifted his hand in a wave. “Sleep tight.”
“Yeah, you, too.”
After Kevin went to his room, Jim turned and sat on the edge of the bed for a couple of minutes, then got up and headed to the bathroom. He’d shave and shower in the morning, but he should brush his teeth tonight. And he needed to piss.
Just as he finished up in the bathroom and lathered his hands with soap, he heard the doorbell. Who the hell? It had to be past eleven. He and Kevin hadn’t left Bernie’s until ten o’clock.
After rinsing his hands quickly, Jim shook them dry as he headed through the house to the front door. He peered through the viewfinder and did a double take. What on earth was she doing here, especially at this time of night?
He unlocked the door and eased it halfway open.
She smiled at him, showing her perfect, straight white teeth. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“It’s kind of late to be visiting, isn’t it?”
“I’ve just had the most boring date of my life.” Robyn Granger sighed, heaving her breasts, which were covered with a very tight white T-shirt. Her peaked nipples pushed against the cotton fabric. “But if you’ll invite me in, the night won’t be a total waste.”
Jim hesitated. Robyn pushed the door open just enough to squeeze inside, then wrapped her arms around Jim’s neck and pressed her body against his.
He grasped her wrists and untangled her arms from around him, then closed the front door. “Who was the unlucky guy?” Jim asked.
“Unlucky?”
“Unlucky because he bored you.”
Robyn laughed. “I should have known better than to go out on a date with a minister.”
“Your date tonight was with Reverend Donaldson?”
She laced her arm through Jim’s. “Let’s not waste our time talking about him.” She cuddled against Jim and whispered in his ear. “I’m horny as hell and you’re just the man who can fix that.”
Under different circumstances, Jim probably wouldn’t turn down what she was offering. After all, he hadn’t gotten laid in quite a while, and Robyn was one sweet piece of ass. But his son was here, possibly still awake in his room. No way was Jim going to screw Robyn or any other woman with his son just across the hall.
When Robyn slid her hand beneath Jim’s shirt and caressed his chest, he grabbed her hand. “Look, honey, it’s the wrong time and this is the wrong place. Did you forget that my son is staying with me?”
“Oh, that’s right. The cute kid Mom and Dad are babysitting. Keith? Kirk?”
“Kevin.”
“Yeah, like I said, cute kid.” Robyn leaned into Jim and kissed him on the lips.
He grabbed her shoulders. She smiled and sighed.
“Why don’t we go to your bedroom? We’ll be very quiet. Keith won’t even know I’m here. And I promise I’ll leave before he gets up in the morning.”
Jim tightened his hold on her shoulders. “Go home, Robyn. Take a cold shower. Or make good use of your vibrator.”
She puckered her lips and frowned. “Are you really going to send me away?”
He nodded. “Yeah, honey, I’m afraid so.”
She pulled away from him, stepped back and threw her arms out in a take-me gesture. “Think about what you’re turning down.” Robyn lifted her T-shirt to show him that she wasn’t wearing a bra.
Jim swallowed hard. His penis twitched. Down boy. You aren’t getting any of that. Not tonight. And if I’m really smart, not ever.
“It’s my loss,” he told her.
Huffing, she lowered her T-shirt. “Well, this is a first for me. Turned down by two men in one night.”
“You propositioned the preacher?” Jim chuckled.
Robyn grinned. “Well, not exactly. But by a couple of hours into the date it was obvious that he didn’t fuck on a first date. Hell, he didn’t even kiss on a first date. I think something’s wrong with the guy.”
“He’s a minister. My guess is he thinks fornicating is a sin.”
Robyn tiptoed her fingers up Jim’s chest. “Are you sure you don’t want to do a little fornicating tonight?”
“Not tonight.” Jim turned Robyn around and marched her to the front door.
“Want a rain check?” She winked at him.
Jim didn’t respond immediately.
“Who is she?” Robyn asked.
“What?”
“You wouldn’t