The Theatrical Primer. Harold Acton Vivian

the Fat Policeman. He walks right past the Doorkeeper. Has he got a Ticket? No, he has a shield. Why do they Let him in Free? Because he is a Policeman. Will he make the standees, settees? Of course not. He will Watch the Show, and if he Likes it He will ask for Two tickets. Will he pay for them? Don't ask foolish questions, you silly boy.

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      Watch the Pretty lady buy two Fifty-cent tickets. She wants to know if they are Down stairs. No, they are in the Gallery. In the front row? Yes. Has the man nothing further in Front? she asks. The Poor lady would like them in the Centre. Yes, those would do. But are they on the Aisle? No, there is no Centre Aisle. She says it is not a nice Theatre, but she Supposes she Must take the Tickets. Are they for Thursday night? Yes. Oh, that is too bad. She is going to Play cards on Thursday night, and she wants the Tickets for Friday night. Now she Will pay for them. How careful she is with her money! She has opened Her little Bag, and Taken out her Pocket book. Now she has closed the Bag. She has taken a Two-Dollar Bill out of the Pocket book and laid it down. She opens the Bag and puts the pocket book back. There; she has Closed the bag. Now she has got the Tickets. She has opened the Bag again and put the Tickets inside. The Bag is Closed again now. The man is Giving her her change. She has opened the Bag, taken out the Pocket book, closed the Bag, opened the Pocket book, put in the change, closed the Pocket book, opened the Bag, put in the Pocket book, and Closed the Bag. How quickly she does not do it. Are there other People waiting to buy seats? Oh, a few Dozen.

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      Here we have a Box party. Isn't it nice of Them to Come Late, that Many people can see Them? No, Johnny, they Do not come to Show off Their clothes. How happy they are. How Mirthful. You can hear them laugh right Across the Theatre. The Girl in the pink crêpe de Chine is saying that Pickles do Not Agree with her. Isn't that too bad? The man is telling her a Story. Pretty soon they Will Laugh out Loud again. See, the Lovely lady with The Charming manners is looking through her opera glasses at a Man in the Front Row. Does she Know him? Of course not, or she wouldn't look at him. When the Curtain goes down, the Men will Go out on Important Business Matters and the Women will stroll up and down so That other Women can See their Dresses. Do not try to Watch the Play, children. The Box party is much more fun.

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      What is this? A Matinée Idol. What a Meek man he is. He says he is Not handsome. That is not True. The Girls all adore him. How careless he is with his Clothes. His Pants have not been Pressed in Fifteen minutes. He is going to Have his picture taken. He had some Taken yesterday, but They did not Do him Justice. Is the Idol married? Hist! children, some things are Sacred. Whose little boy is that Following him? That is a Messenger boy; he reminds the Idol of His dates.

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      Let us steal into the dressing room. See what a cute little place It is. The leading Juvenile and the Comedian dress here. They like a small room; it is So easy to make a quick change in One. The management wanted to Make the Dressing room Larger but there was Not enough lumber. See; in his hurry, the Actor has left a pair of shoes in Front of that Chair. Put them behind the Trunk, Clara, and the Actor will thank you.

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      This is a stick of Grease paint. The Leading lady uses it to Make herself look beautiful. In this way she can make many dates. The leading lady is very fond of Dates. Her friends say she always has dates for Supper. Hold the Grease paint in the Gas flame, Johnny, and see it Fizzle. Now rub the wet paint on the Looking Glass. Put some in the Powder box. The Leading lady always uses powder after Paint; now she can Use both together. Let us hide the Grease paint in the Slipper. The leading lady will Think it a Great joke.

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      Here we have the Property man. He is making a Ship. Will the ship go? No. But it will look Real. What a Dusty room this is. Let's dust the Things off and arrange them. How glad the Property man will be To-night when he has to Get ready for the First act in a hurry. Oh, here is the property Man back again. Clara, help Johnny up! The Property man Wears pointed Shoes.