She parked in her driveway, leaving the engine running, and ran inside long enough to dress in something a little more presentable. She was back in the car three minutes later, pointing it back toward Boston. She was sure Rose would be pissed that her mom was coming into town to check up on her, but Avery didn’t see where she had any choice, given the call from Gary King.
When the road smoothed out and became less curvy, Avery increased her speed. She wasn’t sure where her future rested in terms of her old job but she did know one thing she’d miss about working in law enforcement: the ability to break the speed limit any time she damn well pleased.
Rose was in trouble.
She felt it.
CHAPTER TWO
It was shortly after one o’clock when Avery showed up on Rose’s doorstep. She lived on a ground floor apartment in a decent part of town. She was able to afford it because of the tips she got as a bartender at an upper-class bar – a job she nailed down shortly before Avery had moved out to her cabin. Her job before that had been a little less glamorous, waitressing at a chain restaurant while doing some cheap editing work for ad firms out of her apartment on the side. Avery wished Rose would just buckle down and finish college, but she also knew that the harder she pushed, the less inclined Rose would be to choose that path.
Rose knocked on the door, knowing Rose was home because her car was parked a block down on the side of the street. Even if that clue hadn’t tipped Avery off, ever since she’d moved out on her own, Rose had opted for jobs with later hours so she could sleep late and lounge around the house all day. She knocked louder when Rose didn’t answer and nearly called out her name. She decided not to, figuring her voice would be even less welcome than that of the landlord she was trying to dodge.
She probably figures it’s me because I tried to call beforehand, she thought.
Given that, she figured she’d go with what she did best: negotiating.
“Rose,” she said, knocking again. “Open up. It’s your mom. And it’s cold out here.”
She waited a moment and there was still no answer. Instead of knocking again, she calmly approached the door, standing as closely as she could to it. When she spoke again, she raised her voice just enough to firmly be heard inside but not nearly enough to cause a scene out on the street.
“You can keep ignoring me if you want but I’ll keep calling, Rose. And if I want to get really obsessive about it, remember what I used to do for a living. If I want to know where you are at any given time, I can make it happen. Or you can make life easier for both of us and just open the damned door.”
With that said, she gave another knock. This time, it was answered within a handful of seconds. Rose opened it slowly from the other side. She peered out like a woman who didn’t trust the person standing on the other side of the door.
“What do you want, Mom?”
“To come in for a minute or two.”
Rose considered it for a moment and then opened the door all the way. Avery did her best not to pay too much attention to the fact that Rose had lost some weight. Quite a bit, actually. She had also dyed her hair raven black and straightened it.
Avery walked inside and found the apartment meticulously cleaned. There was a ukulele on the couch, something that looked sorely out of place. Avery pointed to it and gave a questioning look.
“I wanted to learn to play something,” Rose said. “Guitar is too time consuming and pianos are too expensive.”
“You any good?” Avery asked.
“I can play five chords. I can almost get through one song.”
Avery nodded, impressed. She almost asked to hear the song but figured that might be pushing it. She then thought about sitting down on the couch but didn’t want to seem as if she were making herself welcome. She was pretty sure Rose wouldn’t extend that invitation anyway.
“I’m okay, Mom,” Rose said. “If that’s why you’re here…”
“It is,” Avery said. “And I’ve wanted to speak with you for a while. I know you hate me and blame me for everything that happened. And that sucks, but I can deal with it. But then today I got a call from your landlord.”
“Oh God,” Rose said. “That greedy jerk won’t leave me alone and – ”
“He just wants his rent, Rose. Do you have it? Do you need some money?”
Rose scoffed at the question. “I made three hundred dollars in tips last night,” she said. “And I make almost double that in tips on a Saturday night. So no…I don’t need any money.”
“Good. But…well, he also says that he’s worried about you. That he’s been hearing about some things you’ve said. Now don’t bullshit me, Rose. How are you, really?”
“Really?” Rose asked. “How am I really? Well, I miss my dad. And I was nearly killed by the same asshole that killed him. And while I miss you too, I can’t even think of you without remembering how he died. I know it’s messed up, but every time I think of Dad and how he died, it makes me hate you. And it makes me realize that ever since you got really deep into working as a detective, my life has suffered for some reason or another.”
It was hard for Rose to hear, but she also knew it could have been much worse. “How are you sleeping?” she asked. “And eating? Rose…how much weight have you lost?”
Rose shook her head and started walking back toward the door. “You asked how I was doing and I answered you. Am I happy? Hell no. But I’m not the type that’s going to do something stupid, Mom. When this passes, I’ll be fine. And it will pass. I know it will. But if it is going to pass, I can’t have you around.”
“Rose, it’s – ”
“No. Mom…you’re toxic to me. I know you’ve tried very hard to make things right between us – you’ve tried for several years now. But it’s not working and I don’t think it ever will considering recent events. So…please leave. Leave and stop calling.”
“But Rose, this is – ”
Rose broke into tears then, opening the door and screaming. “Mom, would you please just fucking leave?”
Rose then looked at the floor, stifling her sobs. Avery fought back her own as she obeyed her daughter’s wishes. She passed by her, painfully restraining herself from hugging her or giving some last argument. In the end, she simply walked through the door and out into the cold.
But the door slamming violently closed behind her was perhaps the coldest thing of all.
Avery was crying before she was able to start her car. By the time she was back on the road and headed for her new home, she was doing everything she could to hold in a series of chest-tightening sobs. As the tears ran down her face, she realized that she had cried more in the past four months or so than she had for the entire span of years beforehand. First there was Jack dying, then Ramirez. And now this.
Maybe Rose was right. Maybe she was toxic. Because when it came right down to it, the deaths of Jack and Ramirez were her fault. Her ambitious career had led the killer to those she loved the most and, as such, they had been targeted.
And that same career had pushed Rose away. Never mind the fact that the career in question was over. She’d retired soon after Ramirez’s funeral and although she knew that Connelly and O’Malley were leaving a back door open for her, it was an invitation she knew she’d never accept.
She pulled into her driveway, parked the car, and walked inside with tears still running down her face. The sad fact was that if she abandoned her career completely, her life would be empty. Her future husband had been killed, an ex-husband she had been on good terms with was gone, and now, the only survivor from her past, her daughter, wanted nothing to do with her.
And rather than fix it, what did