Another thing I've learned listening to women is that they understand the importance of “leaning in” and asking for what they want and need, but when they assert themselves, it can backfire because some men are threatened by their assertiveness.
Lori relates her current challenge with “leaning in” at her company: “The higher you get in an organization, the older the men are that you're dealing with, and the less receptive they are to assertive females. I surprise men when I am assertive. And it disturbs them at some very basic level. And those are the folks who are my audience. They're who I need to persuade, and who I need to have some confidence in my capabilities and my leadership. And if I strike them personally on a level that makes them uncomfortable, it puts me automatically behind the eight ball. Their basic understanding of female behavior is challenged. I'm looking for collaboration and some equal footing – something they would gladly give somebody my age who was a man with a family and demographic that they have.”
Do you get a similar reaction from men when you speak up or offer a different opinion? Isn't it worth your while to know who would be most receptive to your ideas and the optimal way to communicate with them to avoid land mines? That requires political savvy!
Unconscious bias rears its ugly head in other ways as well. Bias shows up in the stereotypes men and women have relative to work and leadership. For example, I hear from women that they are no longer considered ambitious once they have children. They are frequently passed over for positions that require more travel. We can experience this type of bias from both men and women who hold beliefs that women who are mothers should behave in a certain fashion. And of course, we still earn less money than our male counterparts.
Here's Elizabeth's story: “When I was pregnant with my first son, the woman who had hired me had been appointed to a new job as an individual contributor and another woman came in to take over the group. This woman decided who got the really high-level corporate assignments. Well, I saw these assignments going to other folks. So, I made an appointment with her, and when I walked into her office, I said, ‘Arden, can you help me understand why I'm not getting any of these opportunities?’ And she did actually say to me, ‘Well, I didn't know how willing you were to travel.’ And I said, ‘But you never asked me. You made that assumption for me.’ You could see that she just never considered that I would want to travel, and it was a really good opportunity. She did end up being very open about giving everybody opportunity. I could see how it changed her approach. She stopped making assumptions about what people would say.”
In this situation, Elizabeth confronted the woman and asked her directly why she wasn't getting the same high-profile assignments others were offered. If she had not asked the question, she never would have known the reason why she was repeatedly passed over.
There are people in your organization that make assumptions about you because you're a woman. It is not always obvious why we are not given the same opportunities as others. It's critical, therefore, to clearly communicate your goals to your boss and other decision makers who have influence over your career.
How you position yourself in the company with key stakeholders is critical to overcoming this bias. Learning how to effectively articulate your career aspirations and your achievements is an important aspect of political savvy. Identifying the people who would benefit from this information is another critical component.
Another challenge women face is a lack of confidence. Do you wake up at 3 AM in a sweat because you're wondering if you have what it takes to succeed, if others will discover you really aren't that smart? Our internal demons can hold us back. Many women tell me that they believe they aren't good enough to make it and that it is pure luck that they have achieved any success. Their self-doubt prevents them from speaking up and giving their opinions, from asking for more compensation and responsibility. I hear from these women that because they have a need to be liked and please others, they take on too much work and don't delegate. As a consequence, they are not perceived as having leadership potential in an environment that rewards visibility and credibility.
Lack of confidence holds many women back from engaging in politics and leaning in. What I have come to realize through my coaching practice and discussions with women is that many of us don't understand our contribution to business outcomes. We don't recognize our value. Identifying your value proposition is the necessary first step to understanding and believing in your contribution to the company. It inspires your confidence to put forth your ideas and ask for what you deserve. It fuels your ability to build relationships of trust and influence by offering to help others based on your value proposition. These relationships assist you in navigating the workplace by giving you important information about its politics and by promoting you for new opportunities.
In this book, you will learn the significance of self-promotion as both a leadership skill and a political tool. You will learn savvy ways to communicate what you and your team have accomplished and how to sell your ideas across the organization to build political influence.
I'm sure you can relate to some or perhaps all of these examples of barriers to women's advancement. You live with this every day! And yes, we can look internally (our own limiting beliefs), externally (unconscious bias and gender inequality), and every which way to explain the lack of women's progress. Women are still viewed and judged differently than men in the workplace – and this is sometimes subtle and therefore challenging. But political savvy is understanding the culture, whatever it is, and then learning how to best position yourself, given the reality. You cannot ignore the politics any longer if you want to advance your career. Political savvy helps you successfully circumvent the land mines and position yourself for success. Gender bias is just one obstacle you must be aware of when navigating through the workplace.
You deserve to move up.
If you are working really hard and want to get ahead, you certainly don't want to be passed over or pushed aside, right? Well, then, let this be a wake-up call for you. You need to get “real” when it comes to how you fit into the current culture of your organization. You need to take a good hard look at whether or not you have the political savvy to thrive in such an environment, because the reality is that workplace politics can make or break your career!
The reality is that if you have any aspirations for advancement, you cannot afford to ignore the politics. Yes, hard work is important. Yes, performance is important. That being said, once you reach a certain level of technical competence, politics is what makes the difference for your career success.
Right about now, you're probably asking yourself, “Whatever happened to meritocracy? Why can't I get a promotion based on my track record?” Look around your workplace. Is this what's really happening, or are you wishing for a pipe dream? Who is getting promoted? Is their advancement based solely on their performance or on other factors, such as the relationships they have formed and their influence with key people?
For those of you who focus all your efforts on doing good work, you are not alone. Women spend all their time and energy doing their work and getting great results. We do not see the importance of spending time to network with others and build key relationships. As a result, we do not have access to the privileged information about “the rules of the game” that we need to navigate the workplace successfully. We do not have access to the influential networks where key decisions are made. We rely on the traditional methods of receiving information. Most of the time, we get this information too late to be able to use it to our benefit.
For instance, we wait patiently until new positions are posted. The reality is that many times these jobs have already been promised to others and the company is simply going through the motions of interviewing candidates. Has this happened to you?
It happened