Plays by Anton Chekhov, Second Series. Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

[Not hearing] What? Hm… yes. [Pause] Yes… In the old days everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of my rank, I am a man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me and asks me to come here to the wedding. “How shall I go,” I said, “when I don’t know them? It’s not good manners!” But he says: “They are good, simple, patriarchal people, glad to see anybody.” Well, if that’s the case… why not? Very glad to come. It’s very dull for me at home by myself, and if my presence at a wedding can make anybody happy, then I’m delighted to be here…

      ZHIGALOV. Then that’s sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect that! I’m a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect others who are like that. Eat, your excellency!

      APLOMBOV. Is it long since you retired, your excellency?

      REVUNOV. Eh? Yes, yes… Quite true… Yes. But, excuse me, what is this? The fish is sour… and the bread is sour. I can’t eat this! [APLOMBOV and DASHENKA kiss each other] He, he, he… Your health! [Pause] Yes… In the old days everything was simple and everybody was glad… I love simplicity… I’m an old man. I retired in 1865. I’m 72. Yes, of course, in my younger days it was different, but – [Sees MOZGOVOY] You there… a sailor, are you?

      MOZGOVOY. Yes, just so.

      REVUNOV. Aha, so… yes. The navy means hard work. There’s a lot to think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word has, so to speak, its special meaning! For instance, “Hoist her top-sheets and mainsail!” What’s it mean? A sailor can tell! He, he! – With almost mathematical precision!

      NUNIN. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch Revunov-Karaulov! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.]

      YATS. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the subject of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is telegraphy any easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is appointed to the telegraphs if he cannot read and write French and German. But the transmission of telegrams is the most difficult thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just listen.

      [Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.]

      REVUNOV. What does that mean?