"What kind of mess?"
"Money, of course; what else counts?"
"How much?"
"If I don't get two hundred pounds-and where am I going to get two hundred pounds? why, I haven't as many shillings-and get it pretty soon, I shall have to-"
"What?"
He had left his sentence unfinished; he gave it a conclusion which one felt had not been originally intended.
"Well, I shall be in Queer Street."
He paused, and she was silent; she was thinking.
CHAPTER IV
THE AVERNIAN SLOPE
When she spoke again a quick observer might have noticed that in her voice there was a new intonation.
"Two hundred pounds is not such a very large sum."
"Isn't it? I'm glad you think so. It's a large sum to me; a lot too large. I've about as much chance of getting it as I have of getting the moon. And if I did get it I shouldn't be much forwarder so far as marriage is concerned. What's the use of my talking of marrying when I hardly earn enough to buy myself bread and cheese? and it's as certain as anything can be that in this place I never shall earn enough."
"Why not?"
"For one reason, if for no other, because in this place there's only room for one solicitor; and old Dawson's that one. He's got all the business that's worth having; and, what's more, he'll keep it. Now if I could buy old Dawson out-I happen to know that he's made what he considers pile enough for him, and would be quite willing to retire; or even if I could buy a share in his business, he might be willing to sell that; then it might be a case of talking; but as it is, so far as I'm concerned, marriage is off."
"How much would be wanted?"
"If I could lay my hands on a thousand, or fifteen hundred pounds in cash, then I might go to Dawson and make a proposal; but as I never shall be able to lay my hands on it, it would be better for both of us if we talked sense; that's what I've come for, to talk sense."
"Does all this mean that you've found out that you made a mistake when you told me that you loved me?"
"It means the exact opposite; I've found out that I love you a good deal more than I thought I did. If I didn't love you I might be disposed to behave like a cad, and marry you out of hand; but as I do love you I'm not taking any chances."
"I don't quite follow your reasoning."
"Don't you? It's clear enough to me. I'm in a hole, and because I love you I'm not going to drag you in as well."
"But suppose I should like to be dragged?"
"You don't understand, or you wouldn't talk like that."
"Shouldn't I? Don't be too certain. You are sure you love me?"
"I love you more than I thought I could love any one, and that's the mischief."
"Is it? I don't agree; because, you see, I love you."
"It's no good; I wish you didn't."
"Do you? Then I don't. If you wanted me to, I'd marry you to-morrow."
"Elaine!" Then he did take her in his arms, and he kissed her. And she kissed him. Suddenly he put her from him. "Don't! for God's sake, don't! Elaine, don't you tempt me! I'm not much of a chap, and I'm not much of a hand at resisting temptation-there's frankness for you! – and I want to keep straight where you're concerned. I'll make a clean breast of it; the only way I can see out of the mess I'm in is to make a bolt for it, and I'm going to bolt; there you have it. I've come up here to say good-bye."
"Good-bye?"
Her voice was tremulous.
"If ever I come to any good, which isn't very probable, you'll hear from me; you'll never hear from me if I don't; so I'm afraid that this is going to be very near a case of farewell for ever."
"You say two hundred pounds will get you out of that mess you're in?"
"About that; I dare say I could manage with less if it was ready money. But what's the use of talking? I don't propose to rob a bank, and that's the only way I ever could get it."
"And if you had fifteen hundred to offer Mr. Dawson, what then?"
"What then? Elaine, you're hard on me."
"How hard? I don't mean to be."
"To dangle before my face the things which I most want when you know they're not for me! Why, if I had fifteen hundred pounds, and could go to Dawson with a really serious proposition, the world would become another place; I should see my way to some sort of a career. I'd begin by earning a decent living; in no time I'd be getting together a home; in a year we might be married."
"A year? That's a long time."
He laughed.
"If I were Dawson's partner, with a really substantial share, we might be married right away."
"How soon, from now?"
"Elaine, what are you driving at? what is the use of our deceiving ourselves? I shall become Dawson's partner when pigs have wings, not before. What I have to do is bolt, while there still is time."
There was an interval of silence. They were standing very close together; but he kept his hands in his jacket pockets, as if he were resolved that he would not take her in his arms; while she stood, with downcast eyes, picking at the hem of her dress. When she spoke again it was almost in a whisper.
"Suppose I were able to find you the money?"
He smiled a smile of utter incredulity, as if her words were not worth considering.
"Suppose you were able to buy me the earth? Yesterday you told me that you had not enough money to buy yourself a pair of shoes; in fact, you said that your whole worldly wealth was represented by less than five shillings."
Once more she was still-oddly still.
"Herbert!"
The name was rather sighed than spoken. He saw that she was trembling. The appeal was irresistible. Again he put his arms about her and held her fast.
"Little lady, you've troubles enough of your own without worrying yourself about mine. You'll easily find better men than I am who'll be glad enough to worship the ground on which you stand, and then you'll recognize how much you owe me for running away, and leaving you an open field. The best thing that can happen to you is that I should go."
"I don't think so. I-I don't want you to go."
There was a catching in her breath.
"I don't want to go, but-I might find it awkward if I stayed."
"Herbert, I-I want to tell you something."
"What is it? By the sound of you it must be something very tremendous."
Her manner certainly was strange. As a rule she was a most self-possessed young woman; now she seemed to be able to do nothing but shiver and stammer. Not only was she hardly audible, but her words came from her one by one, as if she found it difficult to speak at all.
"What I-said to you-yesterday-wasn't true; I-said it to try you."
"What did you say to try me? Elaine, you're what I never thought you would be-you're mysterious."
"Suppose-you had fifteen hundred pounds-are you sure Mr. Dawson would make you a partner?"
"Well, I've never asked him, but I'm betting twopence."
"What would your income be if he did? You're not to laugh-answer my questions."
"Oh, I'll answer them; although, as I've already remarked, I've not the faintest notion what you're driving at; and that particular question is rather a wide one. If I were to buy a share I should try to do it on the understanding that some day I was to have the lot. I should probably commence with an income of between three and four hundred, which would become more later on; I dare say old Dawson is making a good thousand a year."
"A thousand? We might live