and keeping, not in refusing. If I refused, she would step in – or so I thought. The other thing – the last thing – was, of course, what I felt about Waldo himself, and the way in which I should stand towards him. It was funny. I had had no sense of taking a chance at Venice – though I did take a chance – gambled and, as it had turned out, lost heavily; but there was nothing but just plain being in love in the case at Venice. Don’t smile – love of that kind is really very simple. But with Waldo – and in the circumstances – matters were very different. I liked him very much; he was such a change from Arsenio, about whom I was still, of course, very sore – sore, not angry. He was very jolly at that time; if he’d behaved rather badly to Nina, it troubled him, I think, almost as little as it troubled me – which was not at all! But, first and foremost, Waldo was an adventure. Great as my charms were – we’ve agreed about that, haven’t we, Julius? – I knew that they would avail me nothing if Waldo knew the truth. Because I had – gone wrong! That would have been a shock; it would have meant a storm. But – well, who knows? Perhaps – ! But Arsenio! With Arsenio! They had been great friends, those two; but in the end – deep down, there was antagonism, aversion. The one despised, the other felt himself despised. Oh, but I know – look what I’ve been to them both! And now they were rivals! Through me! All through Venice Arsenio had never forgotten Waldo – nor what Waldo called him, as I’ve told you. All through Cragsfoot Waldo never forgot Arsenio. It was not only Nina who dragged Arsenio in – though she did. Waldo used to bring in his name – and watch me. He said to me once, in a light way, ‘I suppose you and our friend Monkey had a picturesque flirtation at Venice – gondolas and concerts on the Grand Canal, and all the rest of it?’ I laughed and said, ‘Of course we had! But I don’t think I found Venice any more intoxicating than – well, than Cragsfoot, Waldo.’ That lifted the cloud from his face. He took it to himself – as I meant him to; a bit of self-defensive tactics! That was by no means the only time that he tried to draw me about Arsenio. But he never put a single question – not one – to Mother. That was against his code, you know.
