She was shivering – and, extraordinary to relate, as she spoke, her tremor communicated itself to me. Again, I could swear to it, again I felt that blast of unutterable, unearthly cold.
I started up. We were seated on a bench against the wall – a bench belonging to the play-room, and which we had not thought of removing, as a few seats were a convenience.
Miss Larpent caught sight of my face. Her own, which was very white, grew distressed in expression. She grasped my arm.
"My dearest child," she exclaimed, "you look blue, and your teeth are chattering! I do wish I had not alluded to that fright we had. I had no idea you were so nervous."
"I did not know it myself," I replied. "I often think of the Finster ghost quite calmly, even in the middle of the night. But just then, Miss Larpent, do you know, I really felt that horrid cold again!"
"So did I – or rather my imagination did," she replied, trying to talk in a matter-of-fact way. She got up as she spoke, and went to the window. "It can't be all imagination," she added. "See, Leila, what a gusty, stormy day it is – not like the beginning of August. It really is cold."
"And this play-room seems nearly as draughty as the gallery at Finster," I said. "Don't let us stay here – come into the drawing-room and play some duets. I wish we could quite forget about Finster."
"Dormy has done so, I hope," said Miss Larpent.
That chilly morning was the commencement of the real break-up in the weather. We women would not have minded it so much, as there are always plenty of indoor things we can find to do. And my two grown-up brothers were away. Raxtrew held no particular attractions for them, and Phil wanted to see some of our numerous relations before he returned to India. So he and Nugent started on a round of visits. But, unluckily, it was the beginning of the public school holidays, and poor Nat – the fifteen-year-old boy – had just joined us. It was very disappointing for him in more ways than one. He had set his heart on seeing Finster, impressed by our enthusiastic description of it when we first went there, and now his anticipations had to come down to a comparatively tame and uninteresting village, and every probability – so said the wise – of a stretch of rainy, unsummerlike weather.
Nat is a good-natured, cheery fellow, however – not nearly as clever or as impressionable as Dormy, but with the same common sense. So he wisely determined to make the best of things, and as we were really sorry for him, he did not, after all, come off very badly.
His principal amusement was roller-skating in the play-room. Dormy had not taken to it in the same way – the greater part of his time was spent with the rabbits and guinea-pigs, where Nat, when he himself had had skating enough, was pretty sure to find him.
I suppose it is with being the eldest sister that it always seems my fate to receive the confidences of the rest of the family, and it was about this time, a fortnight or so after his arrival, that it began to strike me that Nat looked as if he had something on his mind.
"He is sure to tell me what it is, sooner or later," I said to myself. "Probably he has left some small debts behind him at school – only he did not look worried or anxious when he first came home."
The confidence was given. One afternoon Nat followed me into the library, where I was going to write some letters, and said he wanted to speak to me. I put my paper aside and waited.
"Leila," he began, "you must promise not to laugh at me."
This was not what I expected.
"Laugh at you – no, certainly not," I replied, "especially if you are in any trouble. And I have thought you were looking worried, Nat."
"Well, yes," he said, "I don't know if there is anything coming over me – I feel quite well, but – Leila," he broke off, "do you believe in ghosts?"
I started.
"Has any one – " I was beginning rashly, but the boy interrupted me.
"No, no," he said eagerly, "no one has put anything of the kind into my head – no one. It is my own senses that have seen – felt it – or else, if it is fancy, I must be going out of my mind, Leila – I do believe there is a ghost here in the play-room."
I sat silent, an awful dread creeping over me, which, as he went on, grew worse and worse. Had the thing – the Finster shadow – attached itself to us – I had read of such cases – had it journeyed with us to this peaceful, healthful house? The remembrance of the cold thrill experienced by Miss Larpent and myself flashed back upon me. And Nat went on.
Yes, the cold was the first thing he had been startled by, followed, just as in the gallery of our old castle, by the consciousness of the terrible shadow-like presence, gradually taking form in the moonlight. For there had been moonlight the last night or two, and Nat, in his skating ardour, had amused himself alone in the play-room after Dormy had gone to bed.
"The night before last was the worst," he said. "It stopped raining, you remember, Leila, and the moon was very bright – I noticed how it glistened on the wet leaves outside. It was by the moonlight I saw the – the shadow. I wouldn't have thought of skating in the evening but for the light, for we've never had a lamp in there. It came round the walls, Leila, and then it seemed to stop and fumble away in one corner – at the end where there is a bench, you know."
Indeed I did know; it was where our governess and I had been sitting.
"I got so awfully frightened," said Nat honestly, "that I ran off. Then yesterday I was ashamed of myself, and went back there in the evening with a candle. But I saw nothing: the moon did not come out. Only – I felt the cold again. I believe it was there – though I could not see it. Leila, what can it be? If only I could make you understand! It is so much worse than it sounds to tell."
I said what I could to soothe him. I spoke of odd shadows thrown by the trees outside swaying in the wind, for the weather was still stormy. I repeated the time-worn argument about optical illusions, etc., etc., and in the end he gave in a little. It might have been his fancy. And he promised me most faithfully to breathe no hint – not the very faintest – of the fright he had had, to Sophy or Dormy, or any one.
Then I had to tell my father. I really shrank from doing so, but there seemed no alternative. At first, of course, he pooh-poohed it at once by saying Dormy must have been talking to Nat about the Finster business, or if not Dormy, some one– Miss Larpent even! But when all such explanations were entirely set at nought, I must say poor father looked rather blank. I was sorry for him, and sorry for myself – the idea of being followed by this horrible presence was too sickening.
Father took refuge at last in some brain-wave theory – involuntary impressions had been made on Nat by all of us, whose minds were still full of the strange experience. He said he felt sure, and no doubt he tried to think he did, that this theory explained the whole. I felt glad for him to get any satisfaction out of it, and I did my best to take it up too. But it was no use. I felt that Nat's experience had been an "objective" one, as Miss Larpent expressed it – or, as Dormy had said at the first at Finster: "No, no, sister – it's something there– it's nothing to do with me."
And earnestly I longed for the time to come for our return to our own familiar home.
"I don't think I shall ever wish to leave it again," I thought.
But after a week or two the feeling began to fade again. And father very sensibly discovered that it would not do to leave our spare furniture and heavy luggage in the barn – it was getting all dusty and cobwebby. So it was all moved back again to the play-room, and stacked as it had been at first, making it impossible for us to skate or amuse ourselves in any way there, at which Sophy grumbled, but Nat did not.
Father was very good to Nat. He took him about with him as much as he could to get the thought of that horrid thing out of his head. But yet it could not have been half as bad for Nat as for the rest of us, for we took the greatest possible precautions against any whisper of the dreadful and mysterious truth reaching him, that the ghost had followed