BLANCHE [with suppressed resentment] Dont let me detain you if you wish to see it.
TRENCH Wont you come?
BLANCHE No. [She turns her face away moodily.]
TRENCH [alarmed] I say: youre not offended, are you? [She looks round at him for a moment with a reproachful film on her eyes.] Blanche — [She bristles instantly; overdoes it and frightens him.] I beg your pardon for calling you by your name; but I er — [She corrects her mistake by softening her expression eloquently. He responds with a gush] You dont mind, do you? I felt sure you wouldnt, somehow. Well, look here. I have no idea how you will receive this: It must seem horribly abrupt; but the circumstances do not admit of — The fact is, my utter want of tact — [he founders more and more, unable to see that she can hardly contain her eagerness.] Now, if it were Cokane —
BLANCHE [impatiently] Cokane!
TRENCH [terrified] No, not Cokane. Though I assure you I was only going to say about him that —
BLANCHE That he will be back presently with papa.
TRENCH [stupidly] Yes: They cant be very long now. I hope I’m not detaining you.
BLANCHE I thought you were detaining me because you had something to say.
TRENCH [totally unnerved] Not at all. At least, nothing very particular. That is, I’m afraid you wouldnt think it very particular. Another time, perhaps —
BLANCHE What other time? How do you know that we shall ever meet again? [Desperately] Tell me now. I want you to tell me now.
TRENCH Well, I was thinking that if we could make up our minds to or not to at least er-[His nervousness deprives him of the power of speech]
BLANCHE [giving him up as hopeless] I dont think theres much danger of your making up your mind, Dr Trench.
TRENCH [stammering] I only thought — [He stops and looks at her piteously. She hesitates a moment, and then puts her hands into his with calculated impulsiveness. He catches her in his arms with a cry of relief.] Dear Blanche! I thought I should never have said it. I believe I should have stood stuttering here all day if you hadnt helped me out with it.
BLANCHE [trying to get away from him] I didnt help you out with it.
TRENCH [holding her] I dont mean that you did it on purpose, of course. Only instinctively.
BLANCHE [still a little anxious] But you havnt said anything.
TRENCH What more can I say than this? [He kisses her again.]
BLANCHE [overcome by the kiss, but holding on to her point] But Harry-
TRENCH [delighted at the name] Yes?
BLANCHE When shall we be married?
TRENCH At the first church we meet: the Apollinaris Church, if you like.
BLANCHE No, but seriously. This is serious, Harry: you musnt joke about it.
TRENCH [looking suddenly round to the riverside gate and quickly releasing her] Sh! Here they are back again.
BLANCHE Oh, d — [The word is drowned by the clangor of a bell from within the hotel. The waiter appears on the steps, ringing it. Cokane and Sartorius are seen returning by the river gate]
WAITER Table d’h6te in dwendy minutes, ladies and zhentellmenn. [He goes into the hotel.]
SARTORIUS [gravely] I intended you to accompany us, Blanche.
BLANCHE Yes, papa. We were just about to start.
SARTORIUS We are rather dusty : we must make ourselves presentable at the table d’hote. I think you had better come in with me, my child. Come. [He offers Blanche his arm. The gravity of his manner overawes them all. Blanche silently takes his arm and goes into the hotel with him. Cokane, hardly less momentous than Sartorius himself, contemplates Trench with the severity of a judge].
COKANE [with reprobation] No, my dear boy. No, no. Never. I blush for you was never so ashamed in my life. You have been taking advantage of that unprotected girl.
TRENCH [hotly] Cokane!
COKANE [inexorable] Her father seems to be a perfect gentleman. I obtained the privilege of his acquaintance: I introduced you: I allowed him to believe that he might leave his daughter in your charge with absolute confidence. And what did I see on our return? what did her father see? Oh, Trench, Trench! No, my dear fellow, no, no. Bad taste, Harry, bad form!
TRENCH Stuff! There was nothing to see.
COKANE Nothing to see! She, a perfect lady, a person of the highest breeding, actually in your arms; and you say there was nothing to see! With a waiter there actually ringing a heavy bell to call attention to his presence. [Lecturing him with redoubled severity] Have you no principles, Trench? Have you no religious convictions? Have you no acquaintance with the usages of society? You actually kissed-
TRENCH You didnt see me kiss her.
COKANE We not only saw but heard it: The report positively reverberated down the Rhine. Dont condescend to subterfuge, Trench.
TRENCH Nonsense, my dear Billy. You —
COKANE There you go again. Dont use that low abbreviation. How am I to preserve the respect of fellow travellers of position and wealth, if I am to be Billied at every turn? My name is William : William de Burgh Cokane.
TRENCH Oh, bother! There: Dont be offended, old chap. Whats the use of putting your back up at every trifle? It comes natural to me to call you Billy: it suits you, somehow.
COKANE [mortified] You have no delicacy of feeling Trench, no tact. I never mention it to anyone; but nothing, I am afraid, will ever make a true gentleman of you. [Sartorius appears on the threshold of the hotel.] Here is my friend Sartorius, coming, no doubt, to ask you for an explanation of your conduct. I really should not have been surprised to see him bring a horsewhip with him. I shall not intrude on the painful scene.
TRENCH Dont go, confound it. I dont want to meet him alone just now.
COKANE [shaking his head] Delicacy, Harry, delicacy! Good taste! Savoir faire! [He walks away. Trench tries to escape in the opposite direction by strolling off towards the garden entrance.]
SARTORIUS [mesmerically] Dr Trench.
TRENCH [stopping and fuming] Oh, is that you, Mr Sartorius? How did you find the church?
[Sartorius, without a word, points to a seat. Trench, half hypnotized by his own nervousness and the impressiveness of Sartorius, sits down helplessly.]
SARTORIUS {also seating himself] You have been speaking to my daughter, Dr Trench.
TRENCH [with an attempt at ease of manner] Yes: we had a conversation quite a chat, in fact whilst you were at the church with Cokane. How did you get on with Cokane, Mr Sartorius? I always think he has such wonderful tact.
SARTORIUS [ignoring the digression] I have just had a word with my daughter, Dr Trench; and I find her underthe impression that something has passed between you which it is my duty as a father, the father of a motherless girl, to inquire into at once. My daughter, perhaps foolishly, has taken you quite seriously; and —
TRENCH But —
SARTORIUS One moment, if you will be so good. I have been a young man myself younger, perhaps, than you would suppose from my present appearance. I mean, of course, in character. If you were not serious —
TRENCH [ingenuously] But I was perfectly serious. I want to marry your daughter, Mr Sartorius. I hope you dont object.
SARTORIUS [condescending to Trench’s humility from the mere instinct to seize an advantage, and yet deferring to Lady Roxdale’s relative] So far, no. I may say that your proposal seems to be an honorable and straightforward one, and that it is very gratifying to me personally.
TRENCH [agreeably surprised]