The Fling
John R. Erickson
Illustrations by Gerald L. Holmes
Maverick Books, Inc.
Publication Information
MAVERICK BOOKS
Published by Maverick Books, Inc.
P.O. Box 549, Perryton, TX 79070
Phone: 806.435.7611
www.hankthecowdog.com
First published in the United States of America by Viking Children’s Books and Puffin Books, members of Penguin Putnam Books for Young Readers, 2001.
Currently published by Maverick Books, Inc., 2013
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Copyright © John R. Erickson, 2001
All rights reserved
Maverick Books, Inc. Paperback ISBN: 978-1-59188-138-4
Hank the Cowdog® is a registered trademark of John R. Erickson.
Printed in the United States of America
Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Larry Shire and Karen Gottlieb, valued friends of Hank.
Contents
Chapter One Cows in My Office
Chapter Two Drover Wants to Be a Truck
Chapter Three We Apply the Secret Chemical Agent
Chapter Four Yipes! I Get Trapped in a Cattle Truck!
Chapter Five I Am Arrested on False Charges
Chapter Six Ralph and I Make a Bold Escape
Chapter Seven The Fling Begins
Chapter Eight Our Secret Mission into the Yard
Chapter Nine Weenie Waves Cloud My Thinking
Chapter Ten Ralph Stole My Weenie Feast, the Scrounge
Chapter Eleven Ralph’s Tragic Story
Chapter Twelve Buzzards and Another Happy Ending
Chapter One: Cows in My Office
It’s me again, Hank the Cowdog. Here’s a question: What would a dog do if he suddenly found himself in town, lost and abandoned and twenty-five miles from home?
A lot of your ordinary mutts would sit down and bawl. That’s what Drover would do, sit down and bawl and moan about his so-called bad leg. Not me. What I would do is what I did: go out on a wild fling in town, beat up all the local thugs, and then hike all the way back to the ranch—braving buzzards, howling winds, and bloodthirsty coyotes.
Pretty impressive, huh? Well, that’s what I did.
See, I’ve always had a taste for adventure. Some dogs don’t. They’re content to lie around on the porch and snap at flies. That can get pretty boring. Furthermore, we dogs aren’t allowed in Sally May’s yard, much less on her front porch, so you can see right away that sitting around on the porch and snapping at flies was never much of an option for me.
Anyways, it all began one morning in August, as I recall, yes it was, because it was still summer and . . .
Hmmm. At this very moment, even as we speak, a fly is crawling around on my nose. It tickles. I can’t go on until I do something about this. Hang on whilst I go into Fly Countermeasures.
Fly Countermeasures aren’t the same as Flea Countermeasures. Did you know that? Maybe not. With fleas, we go into a Digging and Hacking Routine with one of our powerful hind legs, which of course is very strenuous. With flies, we merely watch the hateful little things buzz around our face until one of ’em gets careless, and then . . .
Wait. Watch this.
SNAP!
Got him, blew him right out of the sky! Heh heh. Say good-bye to another tormenting fly.
Okay, back to work. Where were we? We were discussing . . . I don’t remember.
It’ll come to me in a second.
Be patient. I’ve contacted Data Control. They’re working on it.
We’ve had some nice sunsets lately, haven’t we? Oh, and did you hear . . .
Ralph! That’s what we were talking about. Okay, now we’re cooking.
You remember Dogpound Ralph? Basset hound, long ears, sad eyes, drooping face. He lived at the Twitchell dog pound and we’d been pals for a long time. Well, who’d have thought that old slow-talking, slow-walking Ralph would run away from the dogcatcher and . . .
We weren’t talking about Ralph. That comes later, but you’re not supposed to know, so forget that I said anything about Ralph. In fact, I didn’t. I said nothing, almost nothing at all, about Ralph.
It was August on the ranch. It was August everywhere in the world. I awoke around dawn, which means that I had caught a few winks of sleep on my gunnysack bed.
Have I mentioned that I’m Head of Ranch Security? I am, and it’s a grueling job—eighteen hours a day, sometimes twenty or even thirty. Hour after hour of patrolling headquarters, chasing monsters out of the bushes, barking at smart-aleck birds and passing airplanes, barking up the sun every morning, humbling the local cat, you name it.
On and on, the work never ends, and sometimes I have to go days, weeks, even months without sleep. Okay, I don’t suppose I’ve ever gone months without sleep . . . or even weeks, but days, yes. Sometimes I go days without . . . okay, except for naps. I grab a nap when I can, but you get the picture.
This is a very tough job. It’s a killer. No ordinary dog could take it. But I am no ordinary dog.
Anyways, I had managed to finish up the night’s patrol work around two a.m. Confident that my ranch would make it through another night, I returned, exhausted, to my office/bedroom beneath the gas tanks.
Drover was already there, of course. He’s always there, growing roots in his gunnysack bed and sleeping his life away. He was making his usual orchestra of odd sounds: grunting, wheezing, yipping, snoring. He does all that stuff in his sleep. Sometimes I just sit there and listen, and marvel at all the weird noises he makes.
I listened to him for a while, then tried to force my body to relax. Some dogs can do that, you know, impose stern mental discipline upon their bodily parts and force them to relax. That’s what I needed, to relax and rewind. Unwind.
I couldn’t do it. I tried, but my body was as tense as molten steel and my mind was racing along at a hundred miles an hour. I tried everything. I stared at the moon, listened to the night birds, took deep breaths, and even counted sheep, which is tricky on a cattle ranch. We have no sheep, don’t you see.
Nothing helped. I was wide awerp and there was no chunk that I would be able to snerp. No, I would just hack to sit there, bonking the honking . . . snork murk sizzle .