The Case of the Most Ancient Bone
John R. Erickson
Illustrations by Gerald L. Holmes
Maverick Books, Inc.
Publication Information
MAVERICK BOOKS
Published by Maverick Books, Inc.
P.O. Box 549, Perryton, TX 79070
Phone: 806.435.7611
www.hankthecowdog.com
First published in the United States of America by Viking Children’s Books and Puffin Books, members of Penguin Putnam Books for Young Readers, 2007.
Currently published by Maverick Books, Inc., 2012
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Copyright © John R. Erickson, 2007
All rights reserved
Maverick Books, Inc. Paperback ISBN: 978-1-59188-150-6
Hank the Cowdog® is a registered trademark of John R. Erickson.
Printed in the United States of America
Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Dedication
#50 has to be dedicated to the gal who brung me to the dance, Kris Erickson, my wife of 39 years. With love and gratitude.
Contents
Chapter One Unbearable Heat!
Chapter Two Windmill Problems
Chapter Three Sally May’s Oasis
Chapter Four A Conversation with the Cat
Chapter Five Alfred and I Go into the Lemonade Business
Chapter Six Our Very First Customer
Chapter Seven I Charm a Lady Dog from Boston
Chapter Eight A New Assignment
Chapter Nine My New Career Gets Put On Hold
Chapter Ten I Do Business with the Cat
Chapter Eleven A Thermonuclear Moment
Chapter Twelve The Cremated Roast Beef
Chapter Thirteen I Get Demoted
Chapter Fourteen The Runt Gets His Big Chance
Chapter Fifteen Warning! This Chapter Contains Cannibal Material!
Chapter Sixteen I Start My New Job
Chapter Seventeen Sardina’s Weird Sister
Chapter Eighteen Never Mess with a Dog Named Choo Choo
Chapter Nineteen Stricken with Tongue Hungalosis
Chapter Twenty I Break Out of Prison
Chapter Twenty-One The Cannibals Try to Steal My Bone
Chapter Twenty-Two The Cannibals Eat Me
Chapter Twenty-Three The Amazing Conclusion
Chapter One: Unbearable Heat!
It’s me again, Hank the Cowdog. The drama began around the end of July, a very hot and ugly part of the year. It wasn’t a great time for me to fall madly in love with Sardina Bandana or to launch myself into a new career, but things always have a way of happening when they happen.
We’d had week after week of awful heat and no rain. All the ponds on the ranch dried up, and the creek turned into a ribbon of sand. Why, it was so dry that wild animals were coming up to headquarters to drink water from the stock tanks in the corrals, and we’re talking about roadrunners, deer, skunks, raccoons, and even coyotes.
Yes sir, coyotes. In normal times, a coyote won’t go anywhere near a place where people stay, but the combination of heat and thirst had made them even bolder and more dangerous than normal. As you will see, that will cause serious problems later in the story, but that’s later in the story and we’re not there yet, so forget I mentioned it.
We were discussing heat. There are certain times when a dog has energy and ambition, and there are times when he just . . . melts, tries to hide from the hateful glare of the sun, and wishes that the summer would come to an end already.
That’s the way it was that day in July. Ugly weather. It was the middle of the morning and already the air was hot and still. Heat waves shimmered on the horizon. The pastures were parched and brown, the grass so brittle that it crackled under your feet. The trees were wilted. Even the weeds were wilted. The roads were so dry they had turned to powder. When a vehicle approached, you could see it coming for miles, throwing up a long plume of dust.
Drover and I had done our routine patrols in the cool of morning. Then, at nine o’clock, we shifted into our Dog Maintenance Program. Are you familiar with the DMP? Maybe not, so let’s go over it. Pay attention. I don’t want to have to repeat myself. It’s too hot.
The Dog Maintenance Program is our way of conserving our precious reserves of energy and coping with terrible heat. The first thing we do is find a nice piece of shade. Next, we scratch up the ground and remove the top layer of soil. Why? Simple. In the middle of summer, the ground is hot. To find a cooler layer of dirt, we have to do some digging, which is too bad, because digging just makes us even hotter.
But once we remove the top two inches of soil, we have ourselves a little hole into which we can pour our molten bodies. We flop down into our holes and proceed to the Second Phase of the DMP, in which we . . . well, we don’t do much of anything, to be honest, and that’s the whole point of the DMP. We pant for air and let drops of water drip off our respective tongues. When the need arises, we flick our ears to ward off pesky flies and hateful wasps.
But mostly what we do in the DMP is . . . stare. We stare out at the heat waves shimmering on the horizon. We stare at the dust clouds created by vehicles on the county road. We stare at the wild turkeys huddled under the shade of nearby trees. We pant and stare at the turkeys, and they pant and stare back at us.
Does that sound pretty boring? It is, but that’s what we do in the heat of summer. We pant and stare and . . . I don’t know, wait for winter to come, I suppose.
That’s what we were doing on that particular morning. Drover and I had initiated the Dog Maintenance Program and were waiting for a blizzard to rescue us from the heat, when all at once I noticed . . .
“Drover, why are you staring at me?”
He blinked his eyes and grinned. “Oh, hi. Did you say something?”
“I did, yes. I asked why you’re staring at me.”
“Oh. Was I staring at you?”
“Yes. That’s why I asked the question. What’s the answer?”
“Well, let me think here. What was the question again?”
“Why are you staring at me?”
“Oh. You noticed?”
“Of course I noticed. Answer the question