The light is dimming now for me, and I know the day is not far off when I will be gathered to my ancestors, like all those before me. I don’t see as well as I used to, walk as well as I used to, eat as well as I used to. I remember the words of the Scriptures . . .
Remember your Creator in the days of your youth,before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them”—before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain;when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop,when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim;when the doors to the street are closed and the sound of grinding fades;when people rise up at the sound of birds, but all their songs grow faint;when people are afraid of heights and of dangers in the streets;when the almond tree blossoms and the grasshopper drags itself along and desire no longer is stirred.Then people go to their eternal home and mourners go about the streets. [Ecclesiastes 12]
I memorized this passage in my youth, and it has stayed with me ever since. Now I understand the symbolism better than I used to do. The grinders are of course the teeth, the windows are the eyes, and I don’t hear as well as I used to, but in my mind I can still hear that gentle yet powerful voice say “daughter your faith has healed you.” I know all too well about sleepless nights when any noise can awaken me, and I cannot climb the step to the roof of my house for fear of falling. My hands tremble, and the desires of youth are no longer stirred. No matter, I am in G-d’s hands, and have joy in my heart. I remember my Creator even now, and I am thankful for the day his Son passed my way. In a lifetime there are many important moments, many peaks and valleys, many joys and sorrows, but the day I was healed was a one of a kind day—and its blessing has stayed with me even until now.
CHAPTER THREE
THE PARALYTIC
It’s a horrible thing to lose your mobility. To not be able to even get up and relieve yourself without having help. Horrible. You feel so totally helpless, and you feel like you are a huge burden to those around you, your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors. You have to keep asking for favors—“Would you please bring me some water? Could you just hand me that tool?” and on and on and on. It’s humiliating for a man like me, indeed for anyone. You lose your self-respect, your sense of dignity, and you become just mad at the world, perhaps even mad at G-d. You’re constantly moaning and groaning. And then, no one wants to be around you. They tiptoe around you, or in trying to be helpful they become patronizing . . . “Here, let me do that for you friend . . .” You know what I mean. You lie around or sit around all day and you develop bed sores, in places I’m not going to mention, so that even just sitting isn’t comfortable anymore.
One day my family and neighbors decided to do something about this whole situation. There was now a healer living just down the road in Capernaum. They believed he could help me. I had no such confidence, but I could hardly object. On the remote chance something good might happen, I realized that the worst that could happen is I would be humiliated in public. But I was already used to that, ever since the day I fell off the roof of our house and then couldn’t get up and walk again. Some man named Mark later wrote about what happened, and it captures the essence of that moment . . .
“A few days later, when Yeshua again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Yeshua because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Yeshua by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Yeshua saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’
“Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, ‘Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but G-d alone?’
“Immediately Yeshua knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, ‘Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, “Your sins are forgiven,” or to say, “Get up, take your mat and walk”? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.’ So he said to the man, ‘I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.’ He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised G-d, saying, ‘We have never seen anything like this!’” [Mark 2]
This healer Yeshua had set up shop, so to speak, in the house of Simon’s mother-in-law in Capernaum. He made it his homebase from which he traveled around Galilee, teaching, preaching, and healing. He actually was from another Galilean town, a smaller one called Nazareth. Anyway, he now resided near me, and so many people were giving testimonies to what he could do, that, when my friends and family insisted on taking me to him . . . Well, I just went along for the ride, so to speak.
Now when we got there, the place was packed with people needing help. There were people with bad eyesight, people with skin diseases, people with broken limbs, bent backs, all kinds of people needing help. When I saw the crowd, I said to my four bearers, “Let’s just go back home. He’s too busy now. It can wait. I’m not in any danger of suddenly getting worse.” But they were determined to get me in to see Yeshua. They climbed up on the roof of this house, which had a courtyard. Part of the courtyard had been shaded with brush so members of the family could sit outside and weave or do some other task like gutting fish, without the sun bearing down on them. My bearers peeled back the brush, and lowered me ever so carefully into the presence of Yeshua. People were shouting “Watch out!” and the like, but finally I was on the ground, in front of Yeshua.
I’ll be honest, I expected Yeshua to lay hands on my legs or anoint them and pray, or just pray for my healing, but none of that happened! Instead, Yeshua said something completely unexpected. Out of the blue he said, “Son your sins have been forgiven.” Now, this was shocking. As the teachers there remarked, only G-d can forgive sin, so they accused Yeshua of blasphemy! You could feel the tension there suddenly rise. It is interesting that Yeshua spoke in the passive. He could have meant by it—”G-d has forgiven your sins already,” but then—How would he know this? I had not offered any sacrifices lately, nor had I repented of my sins. G-d and I were actually not on that good of terms at the moment. I was angry with Him.
Then Yeshua got into an argument, a debate with those teachers who objected to his pronouncement. Yeshua then asked them a question—”Which is easier—to say your sins are forgiven, or rise, take up your pallet and walk?” Well the teachers had no ready answer to that brain-teaser, and I kind of enjoyed watching them squirm and puzzle over his question. I reckon it’s easier to say “Your sins are forgiven,” because who can tell if it’s true or not? There’s no immediate physical evidence of the fact. But as to which is easier to do—well that’s got to be healing limbs. Even ordinary human physicians can sometimes help with that. But no one but G-d can do the more difficult task of forgiving sins, or so I thought until then. But then, it was my turn to squirm, because Yeshua gave me an order, “Rise, take up your pallet and walk.” At first I thought this was ridiculous because he wasn’t even lending a helping hand, he wanted me to try it on my own. But then unexpectedly I felt my legs again. I felt some strength come back into my shriveled limbs. So I decided I would give it a try. When I stood, I wobbled a bit, but I was able to manage it, and I used the little pallet to brace myself on for a second and then, to everyone’s astonishment, including mine, I walked right out of the building! I was mobile again. I could work again. I wasn’t useless any more, all thanks to Yeshua and G-d.
After the fact, it became clear that Yeshua was responding to the faith and trust of my family and friends who brought me