"So, Master Benjamin, a new piece of practical wit of yours, I presume."
"Indeed, my dear sir, I am very sorry—the guns I plead guilty to; but who can have fired the rockets?"
"Ah—as if you did not know"—quoth uncle Peter.
"Indeed, uncle, I do not, unless the fusees have caught from the wadding of these cursed guns;" which, in fact, was the case—"I am sure I wish they had been at the bottom of the Mersey since they have made you angry, uncle."
There was another awful pause—during which, in came a message from Mr. Pigwell, one of the neighbours, to ask if any accident had occurred—"No no," said uncle Peter testily—"no accident, only a small mistake."
Another dead lull—presently the old servant, who had gone to the lobby to deliver the message, returned into the room, and as he placed a fresh bottle of wine on the table, he said—"The man says Mrs. Pigwell has got a sad fright, sir—taken in labour, sir."
"There, Master Benjamin, there—I am sure I wish you had gone to the coast of Africa before this had happened—I was an old soft hearted fool to stand in the way."
"Well, my dear uncle, it is not too late yet"—said I, a good deal piqued. Not a word from him—"I am sorry to see you have taken such offence where none was meant. It was a piece of folly, I admit, and I am sincerely sorry for it." Still silent—"Jennings is still at anchor down below—I can easily be ready to-morrow, and there is no appearance of the wind changing—so, pray, do let me go."
"You may go to the devil, sir, for me"—and off he started, fizzing, worse than the rocket itself, with rage to his dressing-room, where he often used to pass an hour or two in the evenings alone.
I sat still, guzzling my wine in great wrath.—Enter Peregrine again. I was always a favourite with the old fellow, although he had been seriously angry at first, when he saw that my absurd prank had put his old master so cruelly out. Now, however, I perceived he was anxious to make up for it.
"Lord, Master Benjamin, your uncle is in such a taking you never se'ed—why, do you know, the first thing he did when he went to his dressing-room was to hang his wig on the lighted candle, instead of the pillar of the looking glass; and then we were all in darkness, you see—so, in groping my way out, I popped my foot into the hot water in the foot-pail that he had ordered up, and this scalded me so, that, forgetting where I was, I could not help swearing a bit, Master Benjamin;—on which he opened the door, and thrust me out, neck and crop, calling me a blasphemous old villain—although we all know he is not slack at a good rousing oath himself when his bristles are up; but to call me an old blasphemer—me! who have sarved him faithfully for thirty years, in various parts of the world—a blasphemous old villain, indeed!"
I saw no more of my uncle that night, and when we met next morning at breakfast, I was rejoiced to find the gale had blown itself out.
When I sat down, he looked across the table at me, as if expecting me to speak, but as I held my peace, the good old man opened the conference himself.
"Why, Benjie, my boy, I have been laughing over our fright, yesterday; but have done with your jokes, Master, if you please, and no more about that infernal coast of"——
"Mr. Pigwell has just called, sir," quoth old Peregrine, entering at this moment—"and desires me to say that Mrs. Pigwell is brought to bed, sir, and all doing well, sir, notwithstanding the fright."
"Glad of it, Peregrine—my compliments—wish him joy—but all, what do you mean by all?"
"She has got twins, sir."
"The deuce! twins!"
"Yes, sir, three on 'em, sir."
"An Irish pair," said I.
"Two girls and a boy."
"Hillo," I continued—"why, I only fired two guns!"
"Oh, pilgarlic goes for the rocket," cried my uncle, laughing—"but there spoke your mother, you Patlander, you—there shone out Kilkenny, Benjie. Oh dear, oh dear—two girls and a boy—old Pigwell's young wife brought to bed of—two carronades and a rocket—ha, ha, ha."
We walked down to the counting-house together as lovingly as ever, but my star was now in the ascendant, for there we found Captain Jennings, who informed my uncle that he had been obliged that morning to land Mr. Williamson, the clerk, who was about proceeding in charge of the expedition, in consequence of his having been taken alarmingly ill.
This was most unfortunate, as the wind appeared on the eve of coming fair.
"We shall have a breeze before next flood, that will take us right round the Head—I hope you won't detain us in the river, sir?" quoth Jennings.
My uncle was puzzled what to do, as it so happened that none of the other youngsters at the moment in the employ had ever been away in such a capacity before; so I availed myself of the opportunity to push my request home, and it was finally fixed that forenoon that I should take Mr. Williamson's place.
A very old friend of my deceased father's, Sir Oliver Oakplank, was at this time the senior officer on the African coast, and as the time was approaching when, according to the usual routine of that service, he would be departing on the round voyage for Jamaica and Havanna, before proceeding to England to refit, it was determined, if I could arrange the lading of our ships in time, that I should take a passage with him, for the twofold object of seeing an uncle, by my mother's side, who was settled in Jamaica, and from whom I had expectations; and making certain speculations in colonial produce at Havanna.
As I had the credit of being a sharpish sort of a shaver, and by no means indiscreet, although fond of fun, I had much greater license allowed me in my written instructions than my uncle was in the habit of conceding to any of my fellow quill-drivers, who had been previously despatched on similar missions. I had in fact a roving commission as to my operations generally. The very evening on which I got leave to go, the ship rounded the Rock Perch, and nothing particular occurred until we arrived at the scene of our trading. I very soon found that neither the dangers nor difficulties of the expedition had been exaggerated; on the contrary, the reality of both very far exceeded what I had made up my mind to expect. First of all, I lost more than a half of both crews in the course of two months, and the master of one of the ships amongst them; secondly, I was plundered and ill-used by a villanous Spanish slaving polacre, who attacked us without rhyme or reason while lying quietly at anchor pursuing our trade in the Bonny river. Not dreaming of any danger of this kind, except from the natives, we allowed the Dons to come on board before we offered any resistance, and then it was too late to do so effectually; however, at the eleventh hour, we did show some fight, whereby I got my left cheek pierced with a boarding pike or boat-hook, which I repaid by a slashing blow with a cutlass, that considerably damaged the outward man of the Don who had wounded me. I verily believe we should have all been put to death in consequence, had it not been for the Spanish captain himself, who, reminding the villains that it was not fighting but plunder they had come for, made them knock off from cracking our crowns, and betake themselves to searching for dollars, and boxing us all up in the round house until they had loaded themselves with every thing they chose to take away. However, notwithstanding this mishap, I finally brought my part of the operation to a successful issue, by completing the loading of the ships, and seeing them fairly off for England within the time originally contemplated. I then joined the commodore at Cape Coast, where I met with a most cordial reception from him, and also from my cousin, Dick Lanyard, one of his lieutenants.
Through the kind offices of this youngster, I soon became as good as one of the Gazelles; indeed, notwithstanding I was the commodore's guest, I was more in the gun-room than any where else; and although not quite selon les regles, I contrived, during the time the frigate remained