First published in the USA in 2015 by Dutton Books
a division of the Penguin Group (USA) LLC,
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
First published in Great Britain in 2015
by Electric Monkey – an imprint of Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Text copyright © 2015 Andrew Smith
The moral rights of the author have been asserted
First e-book edition 2015
ISBN 978 1 4052 7342 8
eISBN 978 1 7803 1622 2
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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For Chiara Luciana Smith, my beautiful daughter, who went with me to see the great welcoming mannequin that rises from the water.
THE ALEX CROW
Mrs Nussbaum, Larry, and the Snore Wall
Marshmallow Jeff and the Boys from Earth
Demikhov’s Dogs and the Alex Cat
Teacher’s Pet and the Dumpling Man
Francis MacInnes in the Cemetery
This Is Probably Why You Don’t Wake Up Sleepwalkers
Crystal Lutz and Igor Zelinsky
The Yoke of Inauspicious Stars
All in the Name of Research, Ariel
The Strange Case of Dr Alexander Merrie’s Siberian Ice Man
The Caboose of Natural Selection
I’m Still the Same Old Guy I’ve Always Been
A Little Game of Stones in a Grid
The Best Thing To Do with Ariel
Out for a Walk While Our Porridge Cools
Up in the Woods a Way Up There!