“No.” Even now, memories of that youthful over-the-top love and the gut-wrenching pain of knowing it wasn’t reciprocated burned inside. “Eve ended my dreams of love and family. I grew up fast and I gave up dreaming.” The words emerged sounding bitter. But then he had a right to be bitter, even more so now.
Why didn’t you tell me we have a son, Eve?
“And that’s enough for you?” she asked, a frown marring her beauty.
“I have a good job with horses, which I love. I live in a great community and I get to be part of The Haven’s ministry. Someday I’d like to have my own spread, but...” He shrugged. “Really, why do I need a house and land?”
“I’m sorry, Gabe.” Olivia’s softly voiced words offered comfort, but he wouldn’t take it.
“So am I. My stupidity in marrying Eve killed my dad. I’ll never forgive her for that.” Why had he told Olivia that? What good did it do? Out of the corner of his eye he saw Eli standing in the doorway. Surely the boy hadn’t overheard his snarky comment? “Let’s go enjoy those doughnuts,” he said with forced cheerfulness.
“Wait.” She stepped forward to rub the dust from his cheek. “Now the twins will allow you to eat doughnuts,” Olivia said with a grin.
Truth be told, Gabe wasn’t sure he could swallow anything right now. What he desperately wanted was to lose himself in the forest surrounding them and read the letter that burned a hole in his shirt pocket.
Later, he promised himself grimly. He’d read Eve’s paltry excuses for keeping his son a secret later.
“Is Eli staying here?” Victoria asked Olivia later that afternoon.
Olivia sat on the deck beside her sister, basking in the warmth of the sun, shielded from any breeze by The Haven.
“Not that he isn’t welcome,” Victoria backtracked. “Everyone’s welcome at The Haven. But the aunties have some guests arriving tomorrow...”
“I don’t have any answers, Vic.” Olivia knew her sister’s frown meant she’d demand some explanation, so she relayed the events of Eli’s arrival.
“Gabe’s a daddy?” Victoria grinned. “Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. He’s great with kids.”
“Well, he sure doesn’t seem to know what to do with Eli.” Olivia remembered the devastated look on the cowboy’s face when Eli hadn’t shaken his hand. Then she remembered Eli’s pitiful sob. “There’s something going on with that child, though I’m not sure what that is.”
Victoria’s adopted son, Mikey, was playing with Francie and Franklyn on the jungle gym equipment about six feet away. Eli stood apart, watching them.
“Probably after such a loss it will take him a while to feel his way. Most kids are like that.” Vic smiled at her daughter, Grace, who was learning to walk. “Don’t worry. Gabe will make him feel welcome. Meanwhile, your timing in coming home couldn’t be better.”
“Why?” There was a note in her sister’s voice that worried Olivia. “What’s going on, Vic?”
“The aunts’ lawyers and accountants are coming to check out everything at the end of the month, to make sure The Haven’s outreach program complies with all government rules.” Victoria winced. “The office is a mess, Livvie. It just isn’t my gift,” she defended herself when Olivia frowned. “I can never seem to get the paper under control. I’ve been late filing a couple of forms, too.” Her head drooped.
“I’ll take a look.” Olivia smiled at her sister’s relief. “Why didn’t you hire an assistant?”
“I did. She made things worse. Triple booked us at Easter. Forgot to mention she’d confirmed four military visitors were coming when we were already full. Can you say nightmare?” Victoria rolled her eyes.
“I’ll set up some better systems, see if that—Hey, where’s he going?”
“Who?” Victoria tracked her gaze. “Gabe? He has eyes like a hawk. Probably sees something down there. Maybe I’d better take a look.” She lifted Grace and stretched as if to hand her over, but Olivia didn’t move. She couldn’t take her niece because warning bells filled her head.
“Leave Gabe, Vic. Eli’s aunt gave him a letter from his ex. I’m guessing the poor guy needs a few moments to read it and figure out what’s what.” Olivia couldn’t stop herself from chucking the darling little girl under the chin. “Miss Grace looks like Ben.”
“Good. My husband is very handsome.” Vic frowned. “Still have your aversion to kids, huh, Liv?” she asked sympathetically.
“It’s not an aversion. How could anyone have an aversion to this sweetheart?” Heart aching, Olivia smiled at Grace and then sighed, knowing she wasn’t fooling Victoria. “It’s pure fear and you know it. I’m terrified to be responsible for any kid.”
“Because of what happened years ago when you babysat in those foster homes.” Victoria covered Olivia’s hand. “Sweetie, the kid that died in the fire—you were too young to be looking after anybody back then, and his death was an accident. The child that drowned—that didn’t happen because of anything you did, either.”
Vic had pried the truth of Olivia’s ugly past out of her when they were fourteen.
“But I was in charge—”
“The point is, you shouldn’t have been, Liv. The authorities even said so. You were a strong, competent and responsible kid, yes, but you weren’t the adult in that home. Those parents were wrong to blame you. They should have been watching their kid and you and the pool. It wasn’t fair to expect you to be in charge. The fire was an accident and it was not your fault.” Vic patted her shoulder.
“Maybe. But it doesn’t change anything inside my head, Vic. Caring for kids, being responsible for them still terrifies me.” Olivia rose, uneasy with those awful memories and unwilling to revisit them. “It’s just the way I am. Sorry.” She made a face at Grace, who only giggled.
“But to keep avoiding children means this fear robs you... Livvie, don’t you want to have your own children someday?”
“No!” Seeing that her sharp response had drawn frowns from the kids, Olivia smiled at them reassuringly before resuming her seat. She wasn’t going to tell Vic about Martin or that she’d given up on marriage because he’d pretended he wanted to marry her even though he was already married to and living with someone else. Betrayer. “I just want to start my new job, prove myself and earn the things I’ve never had.”
“Things are worth more than family?” Vic sounded disapproving.
“No, and it’s not a competition. It’s just—it’s best for me.” She shrugged, relieved to see Gabe emerge from the woods, though he wasn’t alone. “Looks like he found some stragglers,” she mused.
“Those two again.” Victoria stood, her lips pressed tight together. “That pair has caused more than enough problems today.”
“I doubt they’ve done anything as bad as what we did at that summer camp, before the aunties brought us here,” Olivia reminded. “We four girls terrorized everyone.”
“True. Think this is my payback?” With Grace in her arms, Victoria straightened her shoulders before striding forward to meet the threesome. She listened to what Gabe said, shook her head at the pair and ushered them to the meadow where they were supposed to be learning to rock climb with their group.
Olivia watched it play out, marveling at her sister’s ease in handling these troubled youth. Judging by the slump of