She glanced toward where he sat alone at a rectangular table for six. He had on blue scrubs that were a little darker than the shade of his eyes. His slightly curly brown hair was rumpled, as if he’d run his fingers through it more often than usual today. Another doctor, a cardiologist, came over and must have asked if he could join him. Nodding, Eli smiled at the man and Beth’s heart thump-thump-thumped.
Crazy how something as simple as his smile caused her body to react so profoundly. She’d probably go into cardiac arrest and need the services of that cardiologist if Eli ever aimed one of those smiles directly at her. That would be her luck. He’d walk by, smile politely, and she’d fall over. Kaput. At least she’d die knowing that if he was that close he’d perform mouth to mouth and that would be the last thing she felt against her lips. Hmm, might be worth meeting her maker a little sooner.
“I see you aren’t denying that one,” Emily pointed out with an all-too-smug grin.
Her friend was right. She wanted to gobble Eli up and go back for seconds. And thirds. And … Beth sighed. “At least that diet sounds like one I could stick to,” she conceded with a slight shrug.
Emily laughed. “Regardless of your reasons for being interested in Dr. Randolph, if he’s single you really should let him know you’re interested. Not every man is Barry, whom I personally never thought good enough for you anyway, nor did he ever rev your juices the way Dr. Randolph does.”
No one had ever affected her the way Eli did. Just thinking about him made her heart pound and her body clench with excited flutters. If by some grace of God they did date, but then Eli told her that dating her made him realize how wonderful Cassidy was, at least she would understand that. The woman was the total package—looks, brains, heart.
“Dr. Randolph is a good man,” Emily continued between waves of her fork. “A hot man. You’ll regret it always if you don’t at least try. Go for it.”
“That doesn’t mean Dr. Randolph would be interested in me.” His tastes obviously ran to quite the opposite of her. Tall, blonde, perfect.
“Why wouldn’t he be? You’re smart, pretty, fun, kind, a little quirky at times, but, hey, no one is perfect … except me.” Emily grinned.
“That’s a given.” She half smiled at her friend’s exception and didn’t point out that she’d just labeled Cassidy as perfect as well.
“You know you want him.”
From the moment she’d first seen him. Never had she felt such a crazy intense attraction. Not for any of her few high-school and college boyfriends, or for Barry, whom she’d thought she’d marry. Emily was right. From the beginning there had been something different about Eli and quite frankly that terrified her.
“As I’ve pointed out, that doesn’t mean he’d want me in return. He’s never even noticed me.”
Emily failed to look impressed by Beth’s argument. “I’m not quite sure how he could have since you go into hibernation any time he comes onto the ICU floor, but hello!” Emily snapped her fingers in front of Beth’s face. “The man has had a girlfriend. One he has been in a relationship with for a long time. He’s a good guy, not one who has a wandering eye while in a relationship. It’s a good quality that he hasn’t noticed you up to this point. Now that he’s single, you need to shake your tail feathers and make sure he does notice.”
She wasn’t much for shaking tail feathers these days, wouldn’t even know where to start. “He may not even be single.”
“He is.”
“You don’t know that for sure. Just because he isn’t sitting with Dr. Qualls doesn’t mean they’ve broken up. Besides, even if they have broken up, who’s to say they won’t get back together?”
“Wherein lies the real problem,” Emily accused, then narrowed her gaze and pursed her lips. “Chicken.”
Beth winced. Was she letting the past keep her from even going after what she wanted in the present? Probably. She bit the inside of her lower lip. Fantasizing about a man she considered beyond her reach had been one thing. Actually acting on that fantasy if he’d become single, well, that was another thing altogether. She’d resigned herself that Eli would never be available, that he’d always just be the man who fascinated her from afar. She’d fully expected him to marry Dr. Qualls and have beautiful children with the gifted doctor. Odds were that even if they had broken up, that’s still what would happen. Beth knew the score.
But if he were single right now, at this moment …
If he was single, then what if he’d be interested in her? Even if for a short while, even if he later told her that she didn’t measure up when compared to Cassidy, she wanted that shot.
Question was, what was she willing to do, to risk, to make that shot happen?
Had he been too harsh with Cassidy? Eli hoped not. He didn’t want to be unkind to her. At the same time, they needed to start having more space between them. Perhaps that was wrong as last night she’d sent him sext messages and he’d briefly considered sending her one back. Much better to cut the ties for a while. She’d just claimed to have been drunk the night before, but Cassidy never drank more than a single glass of wine. Had she just been embarrassed that he’d not returned her message? If only she knew the truth.
Regardless, they were meant to be friends, not lovers. To pretend otherwise for a single second longer would be cruel to a woman he liked and respected. That was what made this all so difficult. He didn’t want to lose Cassidy’s friendship.
Ending their relationship had meant more than admitting there was something wrong with him that he couldn’t commit to spending the rest of his life with such an amazing woman, but it also meant damaging his relationship with his best friend.
“What’s up with you and Wonder Woman?” Dr. Andrew Morgan said as he joined Eli.
Eli took a deep breath, then exhaled. He preferred his personal business to be private, but he supposed it was unrealistic that his colleagues wouldn’t question what had happened. “You mean Cassidy.”
He supposed she was a wonder woman of sorts. There was little she couldn’t do and do well. She was a great catch. He was the fool who couldn’t take that next step with her because he wanted more. More of what he wasn’t sure, but if Cassidy had been his soul mate surely he wouldn’t have found himself backtracking when she’d hinted she wanted a ring.
“Yes, I mean Cassidy,” Andrew said, as if Eli wasn’t in his right mind or he’d have known exactly to whom he referred. “You two having an argument?”
He shook his head. “We decided to go our separate ways.”
“She dump you?”
Eli struggled with how to answer. He didn’t want to say anything that might hurt Cassidy.
“We’ve decided to just be friends.”
“How could you possibly just be friends with a woman like Cassidy?”
Eli looked a little closer at his colleague, noting the heightened color in the man’s cheeks, the rapid pulse at his throat, and the strong set to his jaw. Interesting.
“Because that’s how we feel about each other. Friendly. It’s all we should have ever been.” Even as he said the words out loud, the truth echoed through him.
“Sure took you long enough to figure that out.”
“Tell me about it,” Eli snorted, wondering why it had taken so long. “Then again, like you said, Cassidy is a wonderful woman.” His family had loved her. His mother had repeatedly told him how Cassidy was everything she’d ever hoped for in a daughter-in-law. To say she’d been disappointed at his news was the understatement of the year. “A man hesitates to let her go even when he knows it isn’t going to happen between them.”
Andrew nodded as if he understood, but Eli could tell he obviously