‘YOU’RE NOTHING BUT a rich man’s whore!’
The words still burned in Catrin’s ears and she couldn’t seem to shift them, no matter how hard she tried. Hateful words made worse by the fact that they had been spoken by her own mother.
‘What the hell do you think he’s doing when he’s out of the country?’ Ursula Thomas had demanded. ‘Going to bed early, with nothing but a book in his hand?’
Catrin had sat listening to the slurred words, feeling all her confidence drain away. But she couldn’t deny that the accusations had touched a raw nerve and that was probably why she had reacted so defensively. Why her nails had dug into the palms of her hands so hard that it hurt and instead of telling her mother it was none of her business, she had stupidly tried to justify herself. Because that was pointless. Some people only ever saw the dark side of life and her mother was one of them.
She was not a whore.
And Murat was going to bed on his own.
Catrin let her thoughts stray to the exotic Sultan who had changed her world. She had never planned to be a ‘kept woman’ living in a fancy penthouse, but that was the way things had turned out. Just as she had never planned a relationship with a man who was larger than life—a man for whom the rules had to be broken. Only now she had broken the most dangerous rule of all and she didn’t know what she was going to do about it.
Later, he would arrive here from Qurhah. He would take her in his arms and the undiluted pleasure of his kiss would quickly block out everything else. But she wondered for how long. How long before the niggling doubts returned—along with the growing certainty that she had done what she had vowed never to do?
She had fallen in love with him.
She loved Murat.
It was the worst of all possible scenarios.
She walked over to the window and stared out. How had that happened? Especially to someone who didn’t ‘do’ love? Who had always claimed—with good reason—that she didn’t know what love was. She wondered when that invisible switch had been flicked. The one which had changed everything and made her heart race whenever she thought of him. Was it logical to love a man who was never really there for her, who had never offered her anything but fabulous sex and pretty baubles?
But love wasn’t logical, was it? It crept up on you whether you wanted it to or not. And that was dangerous. More to the point, it was futile. Because the only thing the Sultan had ever promised her was that he could never commit.
Her gaze moved to the distant treetops and the green canopy of leaves which were moving gently in the soft summer breeze. Sometimes it was hard to believe that this apartment was slap-bang in the centre of London—with a view dominated by a park so beautiful that sometimes it felt just like being in the countryside. Just as it was hard to believe that the sleek woman who stared back at her from the mirror every morning really was Catrin Thomas, the small-town woman who had given herself so completely to the autocratic desert King of Qurhah.
Gone was the unruly tangle of shiny curls which had once defined her and in their place were waves of hair so glossy that someone in a shop had once stopped her and told her she should be in a shampoo commercial. Gone were the cheap clothes she used to buy on her very average salary and the cut-price make-up she used to pick up from the nearby supermarket. These days she looked expensive because she was expensive. A rich man’s mistress. With a price tag to match.
The telephone began to ring and Catrin rushed to answer it as soon as she saw Murat’s name flash up on the screen, because he hated to be kept waiting. But she accepted that, as she had accepted so much else about him. He was a sultan and a king. He ruled a vast and affluent desert region. He wasn’t used to waiting. His time—as she knew only too well—was very precious.
‘Hello?’ she said, breathlessly, because a phone call meant that his private jet was already in the air and soon he would be landing at the small airfield just outside London. And she was nowhere near ready!
‘Cat? Is that you?’
She sucked in an excited breath, because his deep, accented voice always had the same effect on her. It made her stomach twist into knots. It made her skin prickle with anticipation. Only now, of course, it also made her heart lurch with anxiety—because this was not just the ‘friends with benefits’ thing any more. This was—most inconveniently—that stupid thing called love and she must be careful not to show it.
‘Of course it’s me,’ she said softly. ‘Who else could it be?’
‘It didn’t sound like you.’ There was a pause. ‘For a minute I thought you might have gone away and left me.’
His voice had dipped in that indulgent way it always did when they hadn’t seen each other in a while. A whole month had passed since Murat had last been in England. It had been the longest time they’d ever been apart, and Catrin had missed him. She’d missed him like crazy.
‘I think we both know,’ she said, trying not to let her voice tremble with emotion, ‘that I’m not planning on going anywhere.’
‘I’m very pleased to hear it.’
But something in his voice caused her to grow still, as a flicker of foreboding iced its way over her skin. She frowned. ‘You sound a little...weary, Murat.’
‘I am—or rather, I was. But suddenly I discover that I am filled with energy at the thought of seeing you again, my beautiful, green-eyed little Cat.’
She could hear the sudden roughening of his voice and wished that he were here now and that he were kissing her. Kissing her and making all these stupid doubts disappear into thin air. ‘Me, too,’ she said.
‘And I’m wondering,’ he murmured, ‘what you’ve been doing to make you sound so breathless?’
The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t say them, even though part of her wondered what his reaction would be if she came out with the truth. Oh, you know. I was just getting over the shock of hearing my mother tell me that I’m nothing but a whore and implying that you’re up to no good when you’re not here.
But she had vowed to herself a long time ago that there was no point in objecting to things which couldn’t be changed. She was trying to live in the moment. To enjoy what she had, instead of obsessing about what she didn’t have, and could never have. Hadn’t her own childhood taught her that was the only way to live?
‘Not a lot,’ she prevaricated. ‘I was just wondering what time you’re going to get here.’
‘Soon, my beauty. Very soon. But I don’t want to waste time talking about my schedule when there are so many more interesting things we could discuss. And there’s only one thought on my mind right now after so many weeks of being away.’ There was a pause. ‘What are you wearing?’
Catrin’s perfectly manicured nails tightened around the handset of the phone and she swallowed down the sudden lump which had risen in her throat. She knew what was expected of her and usually it was all too easy to play this game. Of course it was—because Murat had taught her the rules and, consequently, she had become very accomplished at it. And she liked it. She liked playing the sexy mistress who was up for it any time of the day or night.
But today the seeds of uncertainty had been