Damn Blake. It was all his fault. First he’d tracked her down. Then he’d offered her the financial means to help her sister and not feel guilty for spending money on a fabulous trip to the Caribbean. If not for him, she might be broke and resentful, but she’d be blissfully free of the emotional chaos churning in her gut. Free of the anxiety that came with being responsible for another human being.
Reaching down, she grazed her knuckles across Drew’s soft cheek. This afternoon when he’d been stung, she’d longed to take on his pain as her own. She hadn’t been able to separate herself from his hurt the way she did when something harmed her brothers and sisters. It was as if despite being apart for nine months, she and Drew shared a bond. He would always be hers no matter how many miles separated them.
It was a disquieting thought that she wished she could unthink.
Her phone buzzed in her back pocket, alerting her that a text had come in. She suspected that it was Blake checking in again, so relief surged through her when she saw Deidre’s name on the display. Bella exited the nursery, pulling the door closed behind her, and went to sit on the steps that descended toward the darkened first floor. She keyed up her friend’s message and grimaced at the video of Deidre dancing with three guys.
There’s too many gorgeous guys for me to keep happy all by myself.
That could be her. Young, single and ready to break hearts all over town. No responsibilities. No worries. Just fun.
Bella texted her friend back.
I’ve seen you in action and have faith that you can do it.
A minute later her phone rang.
“We miss you.” Deidre’s fervent voice sounded loud in the still house as she made it sound like Bella had been gone for weeks instead of hours.
“I miss you, too.”
“How are things there?” From the background noise, it sounded like Deidre was in the ladies’ room.
Bella waffled over how much to tell her friend and finally decided to ease into it. “A little weird.”
“Weird how?”
“You were right about Blake.”
“Aha!” Deidre crowed. A second later her voice quieted. Tension gathered in her tone. “What do you mean I was right?”
“He kissed me.” A stunned silence followed Bella’s declaration. With her nerves frayed by too much self-doubt, Bella wished her friend would say something. She could really use Deidre’s sensible council. “Did you hear me?”
“I did. I’m just trying to figure out how to respond.” Another pause. “Yippee?”
“No, not yippee,” Bella shot back. “Yikes.”
Deidre laughed. “Yikes, indeed. Boy, does he work fast. What sort of a kiss was it?”
“What do you mean, what sort of a kiss?”
“Friendly? Some people kiss on the lips to say hello or goodbye. Was it that sort of a kiss?”
Despite the hysteria bubbling up, Bella appreciated her roommate’s matter-of-fact way of assessing the situation.
“No. It was not a friendly kiss.”
“Juicy, then.” Deidre’s voice barely missed sounding like a triumphant whoop. “Did he rock your world?”
The question aroused an untimely urge to giggle. “He does that just by walking in the room.”
“You’ve got it worse than I thought.”
“So much worse.” Bella set her forehead on her knees and cradled the phone against her ear. “I keep telling myself it was just a one-time thing and it won’t happen again.”
“Is that what you believe?”
“No.” Hot flashes surged through Bella’s body. “What should I do?”
“You’re asking the wrong girl. I’d sleep with him in a New York minute. He’s gorgeous and sexy. Nothing wrong with two single people enjoying each other’s company. But that’s me. What do you want to do?”
Bella had never been able to cultivate Deidre’s casual attitude toward sex. As much as she’d love to be a sophisticated woman taking large bites out of the Big Apple, in truth, she was still a girl who’d grown up on a farm in Iowa. Granted, she didn’t want to get married and start a family, but that didn’t mean that she could see herself jumping into bed with someone where there was no possibility of a future.
“What I want to do goes against my nature.”
“Bella, you’ve been stuck on this guy way too long. Offer him a couple months of uncomplicated sex and get him out of your system.” Voices called Deidre’s name from somewhere close by. “I have to go. Call me tomorrow and we’ll talk more about this.”
“I will. Have fun tonight.”
Without Deidre’s vibrant voice filling her ear, Bella’s anxiety returned in spades. It was crazy to contemplate what could happen with Blake. She’d already decided against repeating this afternoon’s kiss. It would be easier on her heart that way.
Beside her Drew’s baby monitor picked up a soft cry. Blake had warned her that he’d been having trouble staying asleep lately and she wondered at the source of his restlessness. Was he cutting new teeth? The discomfort of that had kept her youngest sister up nights for two solid months.
Drew quieted before Bella could stand. Ears keyed to the tiniest noise, she heard the sound of approaching footsteps from below. Blake was back earlier than she expected. And he was humming. What had put him in such a good mood?
“How was your evening?” she asked as he rounded the landing.
His eyes lit up as he spied her sitting on the steps. “Waiting up for me?”
“No.” The last thing she needed was for him to think she’d spent the evening missing him. “I just got off the phone with my friend. She couldn’t wait to tell me how much fun she was having at this new club.”
Blake stretched out on the stair beside her. His knee bumped her thigh. The casual contact zinged through her body. Shifting away would betray her agitation. Holding still took all her concentration.
“Wish you were there?” A lazy smile appeared on his well-formed lips, but the eyes that surveyed her were keen and curious.
“A little.”
She tried to keep her eyes off him, but the dim stairwell offered little of interest to distract her. And there was a whole lot of wonderful occupying far too much of her personal space. In complete contrast to her tense muscles, he looked entirely at ease beside her. His elbow rested on the top step, fingers interlocked loosely. Beneath his navy blazer, a white shirt stretched across his broad chest, the top button undone to reveal the strong column of his throat.
He was strong, masculine, utterly confident in every situation, and Bella could feature him in a hundred fantasies without taxing her imagination. Deidre was right. She’d been hung up on Blake for too long. But was a brief, casual affair the best way to get him out of her system?
“Tomorrow night I’ll stay home with Drew,” he offered. “You can go out and have some fun of your own.”
“By myself?” She didn’t mean for the question to come out sounding as grim as it did, and Blake’s eyes brimmed with amusement. “What I mean is I don’t know anyone here. I’m not sure I want to go to a bar alone.”
“I’ll get Jeanne to watch Drew and I’ll take you.”
His offer made her pulse race. She imagined herself in a bar with Blake. A glass of wine to relax her. The throb of electronic