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      The Best of British Comedy Dad’s Army

      The Best Scenes, Jokes and One-Liners

      Richard Webber

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      Table of Contents

       Cover Page

       Title Page

       ‘BRANDED’

       ‘SONS OF THE SEA’

       ‘SERGEANT – SAVE MY BOY!’

       ‘PUT THAT LIGHT OUT!’

       ‘THE TWO AND A HALF FEATHERS’

       ‘MUM’S ARMY’

       ‘UNINVITED GUESTS’

       ‘FALLEN IDOL’

       CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: ‘BATTLE OF THE GIANTS’

       ‘KEEP YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL’

       ‘A SOLDIER’S FAREWELL’

       ‘GETTING THE BIRD’

       ‘THE DESPERATE DRIVE OF CORPORAL JONES’

       ‘ALL IS SAFELY GATHERED IN’

       ‘WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR MONEY?’

       ‘BRAIN VERSUS BRAWN’

       ‘A BRUSH WITH THE LAW’

       ‘ROUND AND ROUND WENT THE GREAT BIG WHEEL’

       ‘TIME ON MY HANDS’

       ‘THE DEADLY ATTACHMENT’

       ‘THE ROYAL TRAIN’

       ‘WE KNOW OUR ONIONS’

       ‘THE HONOURABLE MAN’

       ‘THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT’

       ‘THE RECRUIT’

       ‘A MAN OF ACTION’

       ‘GORILLA WARFARE’

       ‘THE GODIVA AFFAIR’

       ‘THE CAPTAIN’S CAR’

       ‘TURKEY DINNER’

       ‘RING DEM BELLS’

       ‘WHEN YOU’VE GOT TO GO’

       ‘IS THERE HONEY STILL FOR TEA?’

       ‘THE FACE ON THE POSTER’

       ‘WAKE-UP WALMINGTON’

       ‘THE MAKING OF PRIVATE PIKE’

       ‘THE MISER’S HOARD’

       ‘NEVER TOO OLD’

       TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE

       ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

       About the Author

       In the same series:

       Copyright

       About The Publisher

       INTRODUCTION

      In the annals of British television, no finer example of classic comedy exists than in the shape of Dad’s Army, the Home Guard-based sitcom written by veteran writers Jimmy Perry and David Croft. Although they penned many other sterling programmes, including Hi-De-Hi! and the underrated You Rang, M’Lord?, they’ll forever be remembered for their brilliant wartime comedy spotlighting the antics of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard, led by the irascible and pompous Captain Mainwaring.

      Between 1968 and 1977, nine series and three Christmas Specials – totalling 80 instalments – were screened, much to the delight of the millions of fans who tuned in; but the show’s popularity has continued unabated and even today, four decades since the platoon marched onto the scene, it remains