RAVES FOR CHARLIE CARILLO
Raising Jake
The best kind of story because it is about the best kind of journey, one you don’t want to end…written in a smart, funny, moving way in the special language of fathers and sons. I want my own three sons to read it, as well.
—Mike Lupica, New York Times–bestselling author of Travel Team and Heat
Charlie Carillo has long been a superb comic novelist but in Raising Jake he hits a perfect page-turning stride. It’s scathingly hilarious, vengeful, and truthful, and should come with a warning: Beware: this book is potentially life-altering.
—Sally Jenkins, Washington Post sports columnist and New York Times–bestselling author of It’s Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life with Lance Armstrong
In the tradition of Tom Perrotta, Carillo explores the strength of the family bond, the power of forgiveness, and the hope that comes from embracing second chances…truthful, and hilarious.
—Alison Grambs, author of The Smart Girl’s Guide to Getting Even
I don’t like funny, touching novels because they make me wish I’d written them myself. I enjoyed Charlie Carillo’s book from beginning to end and now I’m miserable.
—Sherwood Kiraly, author of Diminished Capacity
Raising Jake is a literary romp through the minefields of a totally normal, and totally abnormal, family…. I actually laughed out loud and kept turning the pages to make absolutely sure that all worked out at the end.
—Cathy Lamb, author of Henry’s Sisters
I read Raising Jake with a smile on my face the whole way through. Sometimes I laughed aloud; always I enjoyed the turnabouts and back-to-front quality of the relationships in this story of a father’s coming of age with the help of his son. It’s never too late to grow up and no one is ever too old to be young.
—Drusilla Campbell, author of Blood Orange
Former New York Post reporter Carillo (My Ride with Gus) nails the language, the bluster, the rhythm, and the pulse of New York and its denizens. Fans of Jonathan Tropper will go for this one in a big way.
—Library Journal
In this coming-of-age tale, there’s often a question of who is parenting whom. Carillo, a former reporter for the New York Post, has an easy way with breezy prose and likable characters.
—Publishers Weekly
Raising Jake was funny, poignant and insightful. Carillo’s smooth and steady style brought his characters to life, allowing the reader to experience every moment. Sammy’s stories were riveting and heartbreaking; at times I felt I should look away to give him some privacy.
—BookFetish.org
You can take the boy out of the city but you can’t take the city out of the boy.
—New York Post
If you’re not too embarrassed to LOL at the beach, read Charlie Carillo’s Raising Jake.
—New York Daily News
My Ride with Gus
What starts out as a wild ride to get rid of a corpse ends up as a touching and believable story of family love and survival, a testament to Carillo’s storytelling abilities.
—Publishers Weekly
This nightmarish picaresque novel mixes elements of slapstick, the surreal, and the absurd, all delivered in rambunctious, wildly profane Brooklynese…Carillo generates more than enough wacky energy.
—Booklist
My Ride with Gus makes Charles Carillo a writer to watch.
—New York Daily News
Outrageously funny…Charles Carillo’s writing is light, fast-paced and yet thought-provoking…a fulfilling ride.
—The Post and Courier (Charleston, South Carolina)
A plot which hinges on the disposal of an inconvenient corpse is not a new idea, but Charles Carillo manages to make it fresh…as well as extremely funny…Carillo sustains his deliberately improbable narrative with élan, piling up the jokes in the best comic thriller tradition.
—The Times of London
If laughter is good medicine, Charles Carillo’s novel is a treatment as well as a treat…the best part of the story is the witty contrast between Gus the gangster and Jimmy the Citizen…Carillo’s book is an inspired marriage of the picaresque narrative and the road movie in which Gus, worldly wise and world weary, and Jimmy, his paranoid straight man, move through a series of hilarious near-disasters.
—Daily Press Inc. (Newport News, Virginia)
Also by Charlie Carillo
Raising Jake
Published by Kensington Publishing Corp.
one hit wonder
CHARLIE CARILLO
KENSINGTON BOOKS
Once again to Kim
Acknowledgments
Every laugh you laugh is an illness you don’t get. My special thanks go to these guys, whose humor cheated innumerable doctors out of my money.
Roll Call:
Pat Cook, Dennis O’Brien, Paul Patrick, Bill Hoffmann, Charles Lachman, Bill Barrett, Phil Tangel, Kimmy Gorden, Matt Meagher, Matt DeNinno, Rob Nieto, Chris Dukas, Jimmy Malhame, Mike Pearl, Michael Shain, David Ng, Leo Standora, Arty Pomerantz, Don Halasy, Sean Delonas, Phil Spellane, Gordon Mitchell, Phil Parrish, Brian (“Dog”) Kramer, James Bohrsmann, Frank O’Mahony, Kevin O’Mahony, John Chigounis, Anthony Chigounis, Al Canaletich, Bill Kelly, Randy Glick, Gary Goldstein, Malcolm Pink, Simon (“Dr. Fellenstein”) Fell, Derek DeBowski and Darren Stewart.
Also: Tony Carillo, my father; Sal Carillo, my uncle; and Rafael Richardson-Carillo, my son. I guess it’s in the blood.
And a farewell salute to Brian Walls and Michael Norcia, both gone long before their time, both so damn funny they made me double over with laughter. By the time I straightened up, my troubles didn’t seem nearly as bad.
Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER