COPYRIGHT INFORMATION
Copyright © 1986, 2013 by Frank J. Morlock
Published by Wildside Press LLC
www.wildsidebooks.com
BORGO PRESS BOOKS BY FRANK J. MORLOCK
Castor and Pollux and Other Opera Libretti (Editor)
The Chevalier d’Éon and Other Short Farces (Editor)
Chuzzlewit
Congreve’s Comedy of Manners
Crime and Punishment
Cyrano and Molière: Five Plays by or About Molière (Editor)
Doctor Scratch and Other Plays (Editor)
Falstaff (with Shakespeare, John Dennis, & William Kendrick)
Fathers and Sons
Herculaneum & Sardanapalus: Two Opera Libretti (Editor)
The Idiot
Isle of Slaves and Other Plays (Editor)
Jurgen
Justine
The Londoners & The Green Carnation: Two Plays
Lord Jim
The Madwoman of Beresina & Other Napoleonic Plays (Ed.)
Notes from the Underground
Oblomov
Old Creole Days
Outrageous Women: Lady Macbeth and Other Plays (Editor)
Peter and Alexis
The Princess Casamassima
A Raw Youth
Salammbô & Dido: Two Operas (Editor)
The Stendhal Hamlet Scenarios and Other Shakespearean Shorts from the French (Editor)
Two Voltairean Plays: The Triumvirate; Comedy at Ferney
Whitewashing Julia and Other Plays
The Widow’s Husband; and, Porthos in Search of an Outfit: Two Dumasian Comedies (Editor)
Zeneida & The Follies of Love & The Cat Who Changed into a Woman: Two Plays (Editor)
DEDICATION
To my good friend, Rick Roberts
DOCTOR SCRATCH
A COMEDY BY NOËL LE BRETON, SIEUR DE HAUTEROCHE
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Loveless
Gerald
Dr. Bloodgood
Augusta
Olivia
Lettice
Martin
Peg
Scalpel
Big Tom
Scratch
Seven men, four women
ACT I
The scene is London, around 1675. The street before Bloodgood’s surgery.
Martin
What, sir? You say you wish to remarry?
Loveless
Yes, yes—I wish to remarry, and to better succeed, I have sent my son to Oxford under the pretext of studying for his degree.
Martin
I understand perfectly. But, may one ask the name of your bride-to-be?
Loveless
Certainly. It’s Olivia.
Martin
What! The daughter of Dr. Bloodgood?
Loveless
The same.
Martin
You are joking, sir—this girl isn’t yet eighteen, and would be more suitable for your son than for you.
Loveless
I don’t intend to let my son marry for three or four years.
Martin
But, sir, did you consider carefully what you are doing when you got this idea to marry Olivia?
Loveless
Did I consider carefully? Yes, yes—I gave it a lot of thought. She’s beautiful; she’s intelligent; she’s young; she’s idealistic. In fact, she has a lot of qualities that are simply not to be disparaged.
Martin
Well, these are beautiful traits to keep you from thinking—for to be honest with you, none of these traits go with an old man.
Loveless
Huh? I am not that old!
Martin
Oh, yeah! If we were in those times when men lived seven or eight hundred years—you’d only be an adolescent; but, in the times we live, you’re well along in your race.
Loveless
But, sixty years—
Martin
My word. Not to lie, I believe you have at least twelve or fourteen more years, for I remember that the other day the good Mr. Hurtle, drinking a cup of wine with you, said he was more than sixty-six, and that you were in college when he was in first form, and in a college play, he played cupid, and you played King Arthur.
Loveless
He doesn’t know what he’s talking about; he’s one of those men who like to pretend they’re older than they are.
Martin
Leave the age business aside, for, as they say, it’s only for the grey hair. But, let us talk a little about your marriage. Do you believe that Dr. Bloodgood and Augusta, his wife, will give you their daughter—she being an only child? When one has only a daughter, and marries her—it’s in the hope she’ll produce grandchildren. But, not to sugar the pill, if you marry her, they run the risk of never having that joy—at least without some assistance—you understand me.
Loveless
None of this is your affair—and I know what I am doing. When she is my wife, we’ll do what needs to be done.
Martin
My word, I doubt she ever will be your wife.
Loveless
Well, as for me, I am certain of it. Dr. Bloodgood is a man of his word—he has given me his solemn promise that she will be mine.
Martin
Well, that’s something. But, you know that Augusta is a domineering woman—and, if I don’t deceive myself, she has the look of wearing the pants.
Loveless
I know she’s a little proud. But the advantages I will bring her daughter will soften her pride—and besides, a husband is always the master of his wife.
Martin
Always! My word. I’ve seen many that don’t live agreeably, and who wish with all their heart that you speak true. But, here is Dr. Bloodgood, who is leaving his house.
(Enter Dr. Bloodgood from his house.)
Bloodgood
Ah, it’s you, Mr. Loveless?
Loveless
At your service. I came to speak of this business.
Bloodgood
What