The Essential Jeffrey Farnol Collection
THE AMATEUR GENTLEMAN
BY
JEFFERY FARNOL
TO MY FATHER WHO HAS EVER CHOSEN THE "HARDER WAY," WHICH IS A PATH THAT CAN BE TRODDEN ONLY BY THE FOOT OF A MAN
CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I In which Barnabas Knocks Down his Father, though as Dutifully as may be.
II In which is Much Unpleasing Matter regarding Silk Purses, Sows' Ears, Men, and Gentlemen.
III How Barnabas Set Out for London Town.
IV How Barnabas Fell In with a Pedler of Books, and Purchased a "Priceless Wollum".
V In which the Historian Sees Fit to Introduce a Lady of Quality; and Further Narrates How Barnabas Tore a Wonderful Bottle-green Coat.
VI Of the Bewitchment of Black Eyelashes; and of a Fateful Lace Handkerchief
VII In which may be Found Divers Rules and Maxims for the Art of Bowing.
VIII Concerning the Captain's Arm, the Bo'sun's Leg, and the "Belisarius," Seventy-four.
IX Which Concerns Itself, among Other Matters, with the Virtues of a Pair of Stocks and the Perversity of Fathers.
X Which Describes a Peripatetic Conversation.
XI In which Fists are Clenched; and of a Selfish Man, who was an Apostle of Peace.
XII Of the Stranger's Tale, which, being Short, may perhaps Meet with the Reader's Kind Approbation.
XIII In which Barnabas Makes a Confession.
XIV Concerning the Buttons of One Milo of Crotona.
XV In which the Patient Reader may Learn Something of the Gentleman in the Jaunty Hat.
XVI In which Barnabas Engages One without a Character.
XVII In which Barnabas Parts Company with the Person of Quality.
XVIII How Barnabas Came to Oakshott's Barn.
XIX Which Tells How Barnabas Talks with my Lady Cleone for the Second Time.
XX Of the Prophecy of One Billy Button, a Madman.
XXI In which Barnabas Undertakes a Mission.
XXII In which the Reader is Introduced to an Ancient Finger-post.
XXIII How Barnabas Saved his Life--because he was Afraid.
XXIV Which Relates Something of the "White Lion" at Tenterden.
XXV Of the Coachman's Story.
XXVI Concerning the Duties of a Valet--and a Man.
XXVII How Barnabas Bought an Unridable Horse--and Rode it.
XXVIII Concerning, among Other Things, the Legs of a Gentleman-in-powder.
XXIX Which Describes Something of the Misfortunes of Ronald Barrymaine.
XXX In which Ronald Barrymaine Makes his Choice.
XXXI Which Describes some of the Evils of Vindictiveness.
XXXII Of Corporal Richard Roe, late of the Grenadiers; and Further Concerning Mr. Shrig's Little Reader.
XXXIII Concerning the Duty of Fathers; more Especially the Viscount's "Roman".
XXXIV Of the Luck of Captain Slingsby, of the Guards.
XXXV How Barnabas Met Jasper Gaunt, and what Came of It.
XXXVI Of an Ethical Discussion, which the Reader is Advised to Skip.
XXXVII In which the Bo'sun Discourses on Love and its Symptoms.
XXXVIII How Barnabas Climbed a Wall.
XXXIX In which the Patient Reader is Introduced to an Almost Human Duchess.
XL Which Relates Sundry Happenings at the Garden Fte.
XLI In which Barnabas Makes a Surprising Discovery, that may not Surprise the Reader in the Least.
XLII In which shall be Found Further Mention of a Finger-post.
XLIII In which Barnabas Makes a Bet, and Receives a Warning.
XLIV Of the Tribulations of the Legs of the Gentleman-in-powder.
XLV How Barnabas Sought Counsel of the Duchess.
XLVI Which Concerns Itself with Small Things in General, and a Pebble in Particular.
XLVII How Barnabas Found his Manhood.
XLVIII In which "The Terror," Hitherto Known as "Four-Legs," Justifies his New Name.
XLIX Which, being Somewhat Important, is Consequently Short.
L In which Ronald Barrymaine Speaks his Mind.
LI Which Tells How and Why Mr. Shrig's Case was Spoiled.
LII Of a Breakfast, a Roman Parent, and a Kiss.
LIII In which shall be Found some Account of the Gentleman's Steeplechase.
LIV Which Concerns itself Chiefly with a Letter.
LV Which Narrates Sundry Happenings at Oakshott's Barn.
LVI Of the Gathering of the Shadows.
LVII Being a Parenthetical Chapter on Doubt, which, though Uninteresting, is very Short.
LVIII How Viscount Devenham Found him a Viscountess.
LIX Which Relates, among other Things, How Barnabas Lost his Hat.
LX Which Tells of a Reconciliation.
LXI How Barnabas Went to his Triumph.
LXII Which Tells How Barnabas Triumphed in Spite of All.
LXIII Which Tells How Barnabas Heard the Ticking of a Clock.
LXIV Which Shows Something of the Horrors of Remorse.
LXV Which Tells How Barnabas Discharged his Valet.
LXVI Of Certain Con-clusions Drawn by Mr. Shrig.
LXVII Which Gives some Account of the Worst Place in the World.
LXVIII Concerning the Identity of Mr. Bimby's Guest.
LXIX How Barnabas Led a Hue and Cry.
LXX Which Tells How Barnabas Rode Another Race.
LXXI Which Tells How Barnabas, in his Folly, Chose the Harder Course.
LXXII How Ronald Barrymaine Squared his Account.
LXXIII Which Recounts Three Awakenings.