PRAISE FOR THE WORK OF ANDRÉS NEUMAN
“Good readers will find something that can be found only in great literature, the kind written by real poets, a literature that dares to venture into the dark with open eyes and that keeps its eyes open no matter what.”—Roberto Bolaño, Between Parentheses
“Traveler of the Century doesn’t merely respect the reader’s intelligence: it sets out to worship it. . . . A beautiful, accomplished novel: as ambitious as it is generous, as moving as it is smart.” —Juan Gabriel Vásquez, The Guardian
“Rarely comes a novel that blends poetry, history, philosophy, semantics, politics, a murder mystery—and love, that too—with such skill.”—Elif Shafak
“A deeply erudite but wickedly entertaining novel, with passion as well as reason in the mix, this tour de force from the Argentinian-born prodigy matches charming plot-twists with mind-stretching dialectic.”—Boyd Tonkin, The Independent
“We come to see how lives are built out of passing detail, the flicker of small incidents, the intervention of literature, and the trace of forgotten things. Talking to Ourselves is both brilliant and wise, and Andrés Neuman is destined to be one of the essential writers of our time.”—Teju Cole
“Neuman is one of the rare writers who can distill the most complex human emotions with apparent effortlessness. . . . Andrés Neuman has transcended the boundaries of geography, time, and language to become one of the most significant writers of the early twenty-first century”—Music & Literature
ALSO BY ANDRÉS NEUMAN IN ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Talking to Ourselves
Traveler of the Century
Copyright © 2014 Andrés Neuman
c/o Guillermo Schavelzon & Asoc., Agencia Literaria
Translation copyright © 2014 by Nick Caistor & Lorenza Garcia
First U.S. edition, 2015
All rights reserved
The story “The Things We Don’t Do” was first published in The Paris Review (Issue 213, Summer 2015).
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Available.
ISBN-13: 978-1-940953-19-9
Neuman, Andrés, 1977-
[Short stories. Selections. English]
The things we don’t do / Andrés Neuman; translated by Nick Caistor; translated by Lorenza Garcia. — First American edition.
pages cm
1. Neuman, Andrés, 1977 - —Translations into English. I. Caistor, Nick, translator. II. Garcia, Lorenza, translator. III. Title.
PQ6664.E478A2 2015
863'.64—dc23
2015009601
Design by N. J. Furl
Open Letter is the University of Rochester’s nonprofit, literary translation press: Lattimore Hall 411, Box 270082, Rochester, NY 14627
contents
A Chair for Somebody
Barefoot
Juan, José
My False Name
THE LAST MINUTE
Bathtub
Poison
Man Shot
The Laughing Suicide
Outside No Birds Were Singing
A Cigarette
THE INNOCENCE TEST
The Innocence Test
Mr. President’s Hotel
Monologue of the Monster
Embrace
Clothes
After Elena
END AND BEGINNING OF LEXIS
Piotr Czerny’s Last Poem
The End of Reading
The Gold of the Blind Men
The Poem-Translating Machine
Theory of Lines
End and Beginning of Lexis
BONUS TRACKS: DODECALOGUES FROM A STORYTELLER
Dodecalogue from a Storyteller
New Dodecalogue from a Storyteller
Third Dodecalogue from a Storyteller
Fourth Dodecalogue: The Post-Modern Short Story
My name is Marcos. I have always wanted to be Cristóbal.
I don’t mean I want to be called Cristóbal. He is my friend; I was going to say my best friend, but I have to confess he is the only one.
Gabriela is my wife. She loves me a lot and sleeps with Cristóbal.
He is intelligent, self-assured, an agile dancer. He also rides. Is proficient at Latin grammar. Cooks for women. Then eats them for lunch. I would say that Gabriela is his favorite dish.
Some