Road to the Rainbow
A Personal Journey to Recovery
from an Eating Disorder Survivor
by Meredith Seafield Grant
Today...I smile at Life
Today...I feel Life
Today...I embrace Life
The darkness is over...I have found Life’s Rainbow
Road to the Rainbow: A Personal Journey to Recovery from an
Eating Disorder Survivor
Copyright ©2008 by Meredith Seafield Grant
ISBN-13 978-0-9809191-8-9
Second Edition
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Grant, Meredith Seafield, 1965-
Road to the Rainbow: A personal journey to recovery from an eating
disorder survivor [electronic resource] / written by Meredith Seafield Grant.
– 2nd ed. ISBN 978-0-9809191-8-9 Also available in print format. 1. Grant, Meredith Seafield, 1965- --Health. 2. Eating disorders--Patients- Biography. I. Title. RC552.E18G73 2008a 616.85'260092 C2008-903429-5
Cover design by Susan Butler: www.brandcentraldesign.com
Extreme care has been taken to ensure that all information presented in this book is accurate and up to date at the time of publishing. Neither the author nor the publisher can be held responsible for any errors or omissions.
Additionally, neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the express written permission of the publisher. Printed in the United States of America and the United Kingdom.
Publisher: CCB Publishing
British Columbia, Canada
DEDICATION
In memory of Dr. Doug Shrives.
I also dedicate this book to you the reader
because you are ready to begin.
Helping at least one person realize life is worth living
will have served its purpose.
I hope it is you.
FOREWORD
Eating disorders are misunderstood, massively destructive illnesses robbing mostly young women of their health, spirit and future. It is estimated that over six million women and half a million men have a clinical eating disorder at some point in their lives. While there is a wealth of literature on the biopsychosocial understanding of the disorders, little has been written on the process of recovery. We have much to learn from these accounts, and Meredith Seafield Grant has written a triumphant one.
Meredith has beaten many of the odds that were against her. Her early experience of sexual abuse, repeated hospitalizations and “treatment failures”, the chronic course of her illness, the multiple symptoms of anorexia, bulimia and over eating all would have discouraged professional and personal supporters. Yet Meredith has succeeded in reclaiming her health, and lives a full and productive life.
Road to the Rainbow: A Personal Journey to Recovery from an Eating Disorder Survivor is a testimonial with many of the good qualities of a testimonial, and none of the bad. Meredith’s story does not glamorize eating disorders, nor does it sensationalize the extremes in behaviour that often incite others to compare and compete. Instead, Meredith focuses on the day to day moments and strategies that have lifted her forward step by step, so that today she can say with confidence that she is recovered.
Meredith starts with hope, and humility and gratitude. Her story is not a “fix” for everyone, but her experience will have something for everyone searching for a way out of an eating disorder. She states that recovery is a process, a process of self-expression that is facilitated by all manner of experiences. For Meredith it involved a hunger strike, self-disclosure, admitting there is a problem, and above all honesty: honesty with a close therapist, her family and friends, and herself. Meredith’s story is filled with intentional steps toward rebuilding a sense of self. The emerging person that Meredith becomes defends a positive attitude and making careful choices, all leading toward health.
Exceptional is her account of the use of affirmations, alternative mind/body therapies, journaling, and taking care of her environment.
This book is filled with a fierce sense of determination, optimism and tenacity. As Meredith quotes, “There never was a rainbow without a fall of rain.” It is her time for the rainbow; there has been enough rain.
Ann Kerr, B.Sc.O.T. (C)
Program Director, Sheena’s Place, 1996-2006
Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry
Lecturer, Department of Occupational Therapy
University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
TO THE READER SURVIVING AN EATING DISORDER
This book is about a journey to recovery, hence the title Road to the Rainbow.
It begins with my past, and describes events in my life and how they led to the development of eating disorders.
Road to the Rainbow is not about recovery from any specific disorder. I have been, through the years, an overeater, an anorexic and a bulimic, switching from one to the other. What I have recovered from has been the obsession with weight and food. I have learned about the connection between what was going on in my life and these obsessions, and I’ve learned that there are better ways to deal with emotional issues. So, this story is about recovery and how I returned to a normal, balanced life.
I explore a number of treatments that helped me to overcome the disease. Some methods were traditional, some not, but they included the exploration of relationships and the importance of a solid support system. In addition, I discuss the importance of journaling, sleep and environment.
Is the book a gripping edge-of-your-seat page turner? A quick fix handy reference to recovery? No. It is a story that is real, honest and truthful.
I have written this book because I am now fully recovered. My eating disorders are over.
Inside you’ll find my heart, my soul, my recovery and my gift of hope for you.
Above all, there is hope.
CONTENTS
Chapter 2: The Beginning of the Rainbow – Admission, Honesty and Attitude