STORIES BY LEYNA KROW
I’m Fine,
But You
Appear
to Be
Sinking
Copyright © 2017 by Leyna Krow
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except for review.
Versions of the following stories have previously been published:
“I’m Fine, But You Appear to Be Sinking” in Santa Monica Review; “Tiger, Tiger” in Sou’wester; “End Times” in Ninth Letter; “Katie Eats Boston Cream Pie at A Motel Diner in Southeast Portland” in South Dakota Review; “Habitat” in The Southeast Review; “Excitable Creatures” in Southern Indiana Review; “Disruption” in Hayden’s Ferry Review.
Published by
featherproof books
Chicago, Illinois
First edition
Library of Congress Control Number: 2016951498
Print ISBN 978-1-943888-0-85
Ebook ISBN 978-1-943888-1-22
Edited by Jason Sommer and Naomi Huffman
Design by Zach Dodson
Proofread by Sam Axelrod
For my mom, and my dad
Table of Contents
I’m Fine, But You Appear to Be Sinking
Spud & Spud II (Lt. Colonel Olstead)
Katie Eats Boston Cream Pie at a Motel Diner in Southeast Portland
Spud & Spud II (Lt. Colonel Olstead)
Spud & Spud II (Lt. Colonel Olstead)
Index of Things to Come
Action figures
Apple-tree-as-mom
Astronauts
Backyards
Babies
Anticipation of
Loss of
Nostalgia for
Speculation about
Basements
BMX bikes
Boats
Bodies of water
Kern River
Monterey Bay
Pacific Ocean
Palouse River
Puget Sound
River Ganges
Breakfast foods
Cakes/pies
Cats
Jungle cats
Lost cats
Colleges
Cabrillo Community College
Indiana University
University of Michigan
University of Nevada, Reno
University of California Santa Cruz
Conversations with neighbors
Dead parents
Deliberate movement of small rocks
Dogs/Dog-like-animals
Dog-as-dad
Dogs that bite
Dog on a boat
Dreams
Environmental catastrophes
Acceleration of Earth’s rotation
Disruption of tides
Earthquake
Invasive species
Tropical storm
Volcano
Fences (or lack thereof)
Fish-out-of-water (literally)
Fish-out-of-water (metaphorically), throughout
Gravitational force of the Earth
Changes in
Perception of
Internet research (futile)
Journalists
Cubicle-dwelling
Lost at sea
Unemployed
Libraries
List-making
Maps
Of oceans
Of stars
Marine biologists
Naming of people/pets
Newspapers/Magazines
National Geographic
Popular Anarchist Quarterly
Santa Cruz Sentinel
Spokesman Review
Northwest, The
Coastal
Inland
Octopuses (in some cases, also see “Squid”)
Phone calls
Answered
Unanswered
Sea captains
Fraudulent