‘Mette and I are still working on…things…’ He was the one who needed to do the work. He was still practically a stranger to Mette, and he had to work to prove that she could trust him, and that he’d always be there for her.
‘Well, I’m sure that whatever you and Dr Sinclair have agreed is best.’ She drained her cup and set it down on the small table next to her chair. ‘I’m going to the clinic to catch up on a few things this afternoon. Would you mind if I dropped in to see her, just to say hello and welcome her?’
‘Thank you. That’s very kind…’ Sudden joy, at the thought of seeing Flora again turned his heartbeat into a reckless, crazy ricochet. ‘I’ll be going in to see her this afternoon as well.’
‘Oh…’ Flora shot him an awkward smile, as if she hadn’t expected that eventuality. ‘Would you like a lift?’
‘Thanks, but Kari needs a walk.’ Kari raised her head slightly, directing her melting brown gaze at Aksel. Flora appeared to be taking the excuse at face value, but there was no getting past Kari.
He’d explain. On the way to the clinic, he’d tell Kari about yet another dark place in his heart, the one which made it impossible for Aksel to get too close to Flora. He’d confide his regrets and Kari would listen, the way she always did, without comment.
Dougal had been persuaded to say goodbye to his newfound friends and had followed Flora through the gap in the hedge, back to her own front door. When they were inside, she let him off the lead and he made his usual dash into the kitchen and around the sitting room, just to check that nothing had changed while he’d been away.
She leaned back against the door, resisting the temptation to flip the night latch. Locking Aksel out was all she wanted to do at the moment, but it was too late. He was already giving her that strong, silent look of his. Already striding through her imagination as if he owned it. At the moment, he did.
But if Flora knew anything about relationships, she knew that losing the first battle meant nothing. Aksel might have taken her by surprise, and breached her defences, but she was ready for him now.
Not like Tom… Eighteen, and loving the new challenges of being away from home at university. Her first proper boyfriend. So many firsts…
And then, the final, devastating first time. Flora had gone with Tom to visit his family for a week, and found his parents welcoming and keen to know all about her and her family. But when she’d spoken of her beloved brother, they hadn’t listened to anything she’d said about Alec’s dry humour, his love of books or how proud Flora was of his tenacious determination to live his life to the full. The only two words they’d heard were ‘cystic fibrosis’.
Tom’s parents had convinced him that his relationship with Flora must end. She had desperately tried to explain. She might carry the defective gene that caused cystic fibrosis, but she might not and if her children developed the condition then it would be a result of her partner also carrying the gene. Tom had listened impassively.
Then Flora had realised. Tom had already understood that, and so had his parents. Pleading with him to change his mind and take her back would have been a betrayal, of both Alec and herself. She’d gone upstairs and packed her bags, leaving without another word.
‘What do you think, Dougal?’ The puppy had returned to her side, obviously puzzled that she was still here in the hallway, and probably wondering if she was ever going to find her way to the jar in the kitchen that held the dog treats.
No answer. Maybe Dougal had that one right. He’d been abandoned too, and he knew the value of a warm hearth and a little kindness. Flora had found a home here, and she needed nothing else but her work.
‘We’re going to find you a home too, Dougal. Somewhere really nice with people who love you.’ Flora walked into the kitchen, opening the jar of dog treats and giving Dougal one, and then reaching for a bar of chocolate for herself.
Chocolate was a great deal more predictable in the gamut of feel-good experiences. Aksel might be blood-meltingly sexy, and far too beautiful for anyone’s peace of mind, but the few fleeting affairs she’d had since the break-up with Tom had shown Flora that desire and mistrust were awkward bedfellows. It was as if a switch had been flipped, and her body had lost its ability to respond. Sex had left her unsatisfied, and she’d given up on it.
If you could trust someone enough…
It was far too big an if. She’d kept the reason for her break-up with Tom a secret, knowing that it would hurt Alec and her parents beyond belief. They didn’t deserve that, and neither did she. It was better to accept that being alone wasn’t so bad and to channel all her energies into her work and being a part of the community here in Cluchlochry.
The next time she saw Aksel, she’d be prepared, and think of him only as a new neighbour and the father of one of the clinic’s patients. When it came to thoughtless pleasure, she had chocolate, which made Aksel Olson’s smile officially redundant.
AKSEL HAD WALKED the two miles to the clinic, with Kari trotting placidly beside him. It had done nothing to clear his head. Flora’s smile still seemed to follow him everywhere, like a fine mist of scent that had been mistakenly sprayed in his direction and clung to his clothes. He was unaware of it for minutes on end, and then suddenly it hit him again. Fleeting and ephemeral, and yet enough to make him catch his breath before the illusion was once again lost.
His feet scrunched on the curved gravel drive. Castle Heatherglen Clinic was a real castle, its weathered stone walls and slate roof blending almost organically with the backdrop of rolling countryside and snow-dappled mountains. The Laird, Charles Ross-Wylde had added a new chapter to its long history and transformed his home into a rehabilitation clinic that offered its patients the best medical care, and welcomed them with a warm heart.
The children’s unit was a little less grand than the rest of the building, and the sumptuous accommodation and sweeping staircases had been replaced by bright, comfortable rooms arranged around a well-equipped play area. Aksel had come prepared with a list of things that Mette might like to do, and suitable topics of conversation that might please her. But she seemed restless and bored today, not wanting to sit and listen while he read from her storybooks, and laying aside the toys he presented to her. Aksel’s heart ached for all that his daughter had been through.
The awkward silence was broken by a knock at the door. Mette ignored it, and Aksel called for whoever it was to come in. Maybe it was one of the play specialists, who were on duty every day, and who might help him amuse his daughter.
Mette looked up towards the door, an instinctive reaction, even though she couldn’t see anything that wasn’t within a few feet of her.
‘Hi, Mette. My name’s Flora. May I come and visit you for a little while?’ Flora glanced at Aksel and he wondered whether his relief at seeing her had shown on his face.
‘Flora’s our neighbour in the village, Mette.’ He volunteered the information in English, and Mette displayed no interest. Flora sat down on the floor next to them, close enough for Mette to be able to see her face.
‘I work here, at the clinic. I’m a physiotherapist.’ Mette’s head tilted enquiringly towards Flora at the sound of a word she didn’t know. ‘That means that I help people who are hurt to feel well again.’
‘Where do they hurt…?’ Mette frowned.
‘All sorts of places. Their