All? With the memories of Christmases past haunting him at every turn in this tiny claustrophobic village he’d be lucky if he stayed sane until the end of next week.
‘Hasn’t snowed this much in December for years.’ His colleague and business partner Dr Joe Thompson grinned as he fell into step with him up the path towards the main street. ‘Going to be a white Christmas, do you think?’
White? Blue? Yellow with orange spots? Alex didn’t rightly care what colour Christmas was going to be, but he managed a half-decent, at least polite, reply. ‘Who knows? It’s three weeks away. This will all be murky slush before you can blink.’
Joe’s eyes narrowed. ‘I hope not. I promised to take Katy tobogganing tomorrow.’
Alex checked himself. Okay, so perhaps murky slush wasn’t polite. Not everyone disliked Christmas, especially not the father of a pre-teen girl. Maybe Christmas might actually be fun with a kid around. As if he’d ever know. ‘Oh, yes. First day of your holidays. Have fun. See you on the other side of New Year.’
‘I’m grateful you’ve agreed to stay here to cover the clinic for us. Rose is looking forward to her first Oakdale Christmas and Katy’s beside herself with excitement about the New Year’s skiing holiday. For the first time in years I’m going to be able to get to all the school things they have at the end of term; the kids’ disco, the Nativity... And she’s going to love the pantomime in Lancaster next week.’ Judging by the shine in Joe’s eyes he was fairly keen about it all too. Which, as far as Alex was concerned, was a long time coming. Joe had been through a rough few years and it was good to see him smile. He figured Joe’s new partner Rose had a lot to do with that too. ‘It’ll be good to be able to enjoy it all as a family without worrying about rushing back for work.’
‘You deserve the time off. Happy to do it.’ With a bit of luck he could bury himself in his job and forget it was the time of year that everyone seemed to go just a little bit crazy. Alex hated December. He hated Christmas. He hated the reminders of everything he’d lost, and at this time of year he was usually on holiday somewhere far away trying to drink away the memories.
But there would be no holiday this year; their other practice partner, Jenny, was off sick with a nasty leg fracture and their new partner wasn’t starting until next week, and with Joe having pre-booked leave right through December there hadn’t been anyone to step up but Alex.
Joe stopped as they reached the turn-off that led up the hill to his house. ‘Coming to the carol concert later?’
‘No. Not my idea of fun.’
‘Good job you don’t have kids, mate. You’d go mad this time of year with all the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeers going on. Katy’s been practising and let’s just say that, although I love my daughter to pieces, even I have to admit she does not have the voice of an angel.’ Joe laughed. ‘Seriously, you should come.’
‘With that recommendation?’ Alex ignored the stab in his chest. It wasn’t just a good job he didn’t have kids; it was a physical impossibility. He dug his hands further into his coat pockets. ‘No. I’m fine. A warm fire and a cold beer beckon.’
‘The pub? Friday band night?’
‘No. I’d like to keep my eardrums intact into old age. I’m just heading home. Just me, and not a red-nosed reindeer in sight.’
‘Okay. So basically it’s “Bah, humbug” and all that?’
‘Yeah. Something like that.’ Joe clearly wasn’t getting the ‘don’t push it’ vibe Alex was sending him. ‘Enjoy the concert.’
‘I’ll try...’ Joe grinned and waved his phone earbuds ‘...not to listen too hard.’
Then it was just Alex and the crunch of fresh snow as he stalked across the empty village square. Each footstep a beat...warm...fire...cold...beer... Warm...fire. Cold...beer. Nothing better after a busy work week.
Despite the streetlights it was dark and fresh and he wished he’d dressed more suitably for a blizzard. Every shopfront had some sort of festive display or Nativity scene and someone had strung bunting made out of silver stars zigzagging from the post office to the butcher’s and over to the newsagent’s. There was a small and slightly gravelly snowman outside the little supermarket, its carrot nose lying on the snow-covered ground. Alex picked it up, stuck it back onto the large white head and tightened the woolly scarf round the join between head and body. ‘There you go, mate, whole again.’
He tried hard not to think how that might feel. But at least he’d fixed the snowman. See? What was that if it wasn’t embracing the Christmas spirit? Bah, humbug, indeed.
He made his way down the icy path towards the opposite end of the village to where Joe was heading, to the house he’d grown up in, his thoughts tumbling between the usual tumult of GP life and that one Christmas eight years ago when his life had changed for ever.
He tried to push the memories away but there was something about those Nativity scenes that seemed to lock them in his head; the doctor’s office decorated in tinsel for festive fun, diametrically opposed to the hot panic that had consumed him. The phone call. Tears. So many tears. And then navigating an entirely different landscape from the future he’d been planning.
From somewhere he heard a little whine, then an excited yelp tugged him back to today, the past receding a little. Behind him was a fluffy bundle of fur on four legs. Not a red-nosed reindeer but a dog...a puppy to be exact. It stopped walking when he did. When he started again it let out another yelp then bounded through the drifts and caught him up, tangling between his legs.
Huffing out a breath, Alex disentangled himself from the pup. Along with huge soppy eyes it had a long snout, big paws completely out of whack with its body and a tail that stood up like a spike. Cute. If you were the dog-loving type. Alex wasn’t. Especially when they hindered your journey home after a long day looking after particularly difficult patients. He stepped over the mutt. ‘Whoa, puppy. It’s too slippery out here to be doing that.’
It didn’t move. ‘Go.’
Nah. Nothing. He picked it up, turned it around and plopped it back onto the snow, hoping it would return to wherever it had come from, then he set off in the direction of home. Warm fire. Cold beer. Warm fire. Cold beer.
Another yelp. A little bark. Did that one sound like, Hey, Mr Bah Humbug, I’m freezing?
‘Look, stop following me. Go home, boy...or girl...’ He couldn’t tell from this distance. But the puppy just tipped its head to one side and looked at him. ‘Go. Shoo.’
Pointy ears pricked. Well, one did; the right ear had a floppy fold. One up, one bent.
Not cute at all. Really. Not cute.
And lost. He looked at the trail of puppy paw prints in the snow and sighed as he bent down. ‘Okay, okay. Let’s have a look at you.’
No collar. Great. A boy pup. And very happy to be given attention. ‘Someone, somewhere is going to be missing you. How about you turn right around and go back where you came from?’ But he couldn’t help sinking his fingers in the fur at the back of the pup’s neck and giving him a good scratch. The puppy nuzzled against his arm and something in Alex’s chest squeezed.
No. ‘I am not going to be bamboozled by big soppy brown eyes and cold paws.’
No. Nope. No way. Niet.
As soon as this silly season was over he was booking a holiday. A climbing holiday perhaps where he could put all his energy into something physical. A holiday fling maybe? That could be good