Bunny stopped, unable to carry on, her eyes full of tears.
‘Carry on, Bunny. Try to stick to telling me about the dream.’
‘I can hear her calling my name as if she’s right next to me, but I don’t move. I stay perfectly still. I want to laugh but I know she’ll hear me. And then I hear another sound coming from behind me. Other footsteps. Snapping at the twigs and crunching the leaves on the ground. The moonlight suddenly comes between the trees and I can see me breath in the darkness and just as I’m going to get up I see them. I want to call out to her for her to stop, to go back ’cos I know there’s something wrong. But I don’t. I can’t because then they’ll know I’m there. I’m looking through the bracken of where I’m hiding and I can see her face, she’s still looking and she thinks it’s me. She turns round and I catch the fear in her eyes. And then I feel something warm on my face and I know it’s blood. Tiny splatters of her blood. I hear a gurgling sound and it’s her throat being cut. I look directly at them, wanting to see them, but it’s like they’ve got no faces. I can’t remember their faces no matter how hard I try. Then I see her. She’s just in front of me, lying on the ground. I can almost touch her. She’s only a few centimetres away. So still. I see some of her hair has caught on the bracken so I stretch me fingers out to stroke it. I want to stroke it, to make her know it’s all right that I’m there. But it’s too late, she’s gone. And then even though it’s cold and I’m afraid, I stay with her ’cos she pretends not be afraid of the dark, but she is and I know she don’t like to be alone. I can’t sleep, but it looks like she’s asleep, so I just stay huddled up till the sun rises and she don’t move and neither do I. Just me and her.’
Looking up, wide eyed, Bunny stared at the woman. ‘I’m sorry, I’ve got to go, I can’t do this.’ Without waiting for a reply, Bunny grabbed her bag, running out of the door as she listened to the cries of the woman calling her back.
Bunny walked home slowly. She felt drained. Exhausted. And even putting one foot in front of the other seemed a huge effort. The memories of her childhood had reopened painful wounds.
She had once had dreams like her daughter Star. She had once believed that she could do anything. But she knew the debilitating shadow of her childhood had a lot to do with why she couldn’t leave what she did behind. She certainly knew her past was why she couldn’t allow herself to trust anyone, not even Del.
Being a hooker enabled her to give Star the things she’d never had. But it also allowed her to step slightly aside from the rest of society. She could hide away but still keep on living.
Though she wanted a lot more for Star. And for Star, Bunny would do anything. She’d keep on fighting to be a stronger. To be a better person. For Star, she needed to conquer her demons, so her child wasn’t burdened with her ghosts from the past.
9
‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean?’ Teddy Davies’ face twisted in rage as he stared at the small-time Soho dealer on the dusty floor of the walk-up.
‘I’m here to collect my money.’
‘I … I haven’t got it.’
Teddy squatted down to where the man was sitting. ‘My money. My drugs. I want them now.’
‘I can’t … he said I wasn’t to give you any more.’
Teddy craned his ear towards the man. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said I can’t give it to you.’
Teddy stood up, slapping the man hard round his head. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear. ‘Talk then, I’m listening.’
‘It’s Del. Del Williams.’
Teddy spoke slowly. ‘What about Del?’
‘He’s put word round we’re not to pay you anymore. He’s told all of us if we get any trouble from you just to contact him and he’ll sort it – but on the condition we give you nothin’ or say nothin’, otherwise he’ll do worse than the people you know will ever do.’
Teddy stood up and stared at the man on the floor. There was no reason for the man to lie to him. But what he was hearing was unbelievable. He put his fist in his mouth, chewing down on his skin. Who the fuck did Del Williams think he was? He was not only trying to mug him off out of the picture with the Russians, he was trying to cut him out completely with everything. This was his patch. Not Del’s. He was the one who’d seen it grow into what it’d become and now the likes of the flash Del Williams wanted to take it away from him. Well that wasn’t going to happen. Not now. Not ever.
He needed to do something, and fast.
Teddy turned to the constable standing next to him. ‘Cuff him.’
‘What?’
‘I said cuff him.’
‘On what charge sir?’
Teddy rubbed his head. ‘Intent to supply.’
‘What the hell are you doing?’ The man shouted in protest as the handcuffs went on him. Teddy grinned.
‘I’m doing what all good coppers do; I’m getting scum like you off the street.’
‘I ain’t done nothin’!’
Teddy whispered into the man’s ear. ‘This is my patch, not Del Williams’ patch, and the way I see it, if you want to play on his side then you’re balling me and I don’t like people who ball me, especially skanky toerags like you.’
‘I dunno what you’re talking about. You ain’t got anything on me mate.’
‘No? Well perhaps you’d like to come down the station and explain what this is.’
Taking a large white bag of quiver out of his own pocket, Teddy winked at the constable before placing it into the man’s jacket pocket. He patted it. ‘I reckon you’re looking at least at a five-year lump for that. Take him away.’
‘Don’t think you’re going to get away with this. Once Del finds out what you’ve done, you’re a dead man.’
Teddy Davies yawned. ‘Yeah, yeah. Save the movie line. Do you really think Williams gives a shit about the likes of you? Face it mate, you’re well and truly stitched the fuck up.’
The moment they were gone, Teddy’s face dropped. He couldn’t believe Del was so blatantly making a public fool out of him. Telling the dealers not to pay him, like he was worth nothing. He’d helped to make Del who he was today and, just as he’d done that, he would now help to destroy him. And Teddy Davies knew exactly who could help him to do it.
10
A naked body has been found in Regents Park Canal. It is believed to be that of missing eight-year-old schoolgirl, Julie Cole. No official statement has been made, but a police source tells LBC radio that an initial post-mortem examination shows she died from strangulation. It is also believed Julie had been sexually abused.
Bunny sat on the edge of her deep sunk porcelain bath. Her whole body was tense as she listened to the radio. Her head began to swim and the old familiar fear gripped her stomach.
‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost, babe.’
Bunny