She’d thought she was doing well.
Only now, feeling her heart hammering hard against her chest, she knew that she wasn’t doing well at all.
He affected her just as much as he ever had.
‘Sorry I’m a bit late.’ He was wearing cut-off shorts and a soft, loose T-shirt that had obviously been washed a million times. His jaw was dark with stubble, his eyes were tired, and Kyla thought she’d never seen a sexier man in her life.
‘Late? That’s a real city-boy remark. I don’t think you can be late for a picnic on a beach.’ Logan handed him a beer. ‘Here. You can drink. I’m on call tonight.’
Ethan took the beer with a nod of thanks. ‘I hope you have a better night than I did.’
Logan gave a wry smile and glanced at his daughter. ‘I probably won’t, actually, but for different reasons. I gather you were up several times.’
‘For a small island, they certainly keep you busy,’ Ethan drawled, lifting the beer to his lips, and Kyla found herself watching as he drank.
That mouth had been on hers. Those hands had—
Ethan caught her gaze and lowered the beer slowly, his eyes on hers. Neither of them spoke and the tension rose between them until Kyla was aware of nothing but him. She couldn’t have looked away if she’d tried, and she sensed that he was experiencing the same inner struggle.
And then Kirsty crawled into her lap and reached for her hair.
‘Ow.’ The spell broken, Kyla gently prised open Kirsty’s chubby fist and removed her hair. ‘We need to teach you a new trick.’
To her surprise, Ethan put down his beer and leaned towards Kirsty. ‘I’ll take her.’ He dropped down onto his haunches and smiled at the little girl.
‘Fancy a paddle in the waves?’
Kirsty looked uncertain and when Ethan scooped her gently into his arms she went stiff and turned to look at Logan.
‘She’s a one-man woman,’ Logan said smugly, reaching out a hand and smoothing his daughter’s silky blonde curls to reassure her, but Ethan spoke softly to the child, pointed to a passing seagull, and Kirsty’s face broke into an approving smile.
She forgot her reservations about the tall, dark stranger and with a gurgle of enthusiasm she grabbed a hunk of Ethan’s hair in her fist.
‘You’re in favour, Ethan,’ Evanna said cheerfully, reaching for the breadsticks. ‘She only pulls the hair out of people she really loves.’
Ethan winced and extracted himself from that deadly grip, his dark eyes amused. ‘Can I take her to the sea?’
‘Of course. She loves it. Did you make any of your peanut chicken, Eva?’ Logan leaned forward and studied the picnic, reaching into a bowl and helping himself to a slice of fresh mango. ‘This looks delicious.’
‘That’s Caribbean fruit salad and it’s for afterwards.’ Evanna pulled the bowl of fruit away from him. ‘Leave it alone. You always try and eat my picnics in the wrong order.’
Judging that this would be a good time to leave the two of them alone for a few minutes, Kyla scrambled to her feet and reluctantly followed Ethan towards the sea.
She didn’t really want to approach him because then he’d think she hadn’t listened to his ‘hands-off’ message. But she badly wanted to give Logan and Evanna some time on their own.
Frustrated that she suddenly felt so uncomfortable on her own territory, she walked a few paces and then stopped, her attention caught by the scene in front of her.
Ethan had removed Kirsty’s shoes and socks and tucked them into the pockets of his shorts. He held her firmly round the waist, dangling her feet gently in the water, dipping her in and out of the breaking waves while she chortled with excitement and kicked her legs.
Kyla smiled at the delight on her niece’s face and then found herself looking at Ethan. And couldn’t look away. She’d seen him smile before, but not like this. That cool, remote look had gone. Instead, his eyes were gentle and he looked more relaxed than she’d ever seen him.
He lifted Kirsty quickly to avoid a slightly bigger wave, laughing and talking to her quietly, clearly enjoying her company.
He wasn’t a man she associated with softness and Kyla watched, transfixed, as the two of them played together, each entertaining the other.
It was only when she tried to swallow that she realised she had a lump in her throat. There was something incredibly moving about watching this strong, reserved man transformed by his interaction with an innocent child.
And then he lifted Kirsty into his arms and she saw something else in his face.
A yearning. And an immense sadness.
Instinctively Kyla moved towards him and then she stopped herself. How could she offer comfort and support when he’d already rejected her? Any gesture like that on her part would be misconstrued. And, anyway, Ethan had already proved on so many occasions that he wasn’t a man to open up and confide. What had he ever told her about himself? Hardly anything.
‘Kyla!’ Evanna’s voice came from behind her. ‘I’ve put some food on a plate for you and we’re ready to eat.’
Kyla took one last, lingering look at Ethan’s broad shoulders and turned away.
She had no idea what was wrong with him but she did know that he wasn’t hers to comfort. He didn’t want what she was offering.
And suddenly she wished she’d never joined them for the picnic.
Maybe, in time, she’d be able to treat Ethan like nothing more than a colleague and friend. Eventually she’d be able to laugh alongside him and enjoy a drink and a casual chat, but she hadn’t reached that stage yet. She was painfully aware of him and it was only by a supreme effort of will that she managed not to just sit and stare at him.
Dropping onto her knees on the picnic rug, she reached for the plate. ‘Thanks for this. I need to eat quickly and make a move.’
‘What’s the hurry?’ Logan handed her some French bread. ‘We’ve hardly seen you all week and it doesn’t get dark for hours. What’s the matter with you? You’re behaving very oddly.’
‘No, I’m not.’
‘Well, usually you strip off and swim.’
Usually Ethan wasn’t with them.
She just didn’t know how to behave in his company any more. If she was chatty and friendly then he’d think that she was trying to flirt with him, and if she ignored him he’d think she was heartbroken. She couldn’t win. All she knew was that she needed to put some space between them before she made a fool of herself.
‘I have lots to do in the house. I haven’t had a chance to tidy up this week.’
Logan frowned at her. ‘But you hate tidying up, and—’
‘Logan, shut up,’ Evanna said gently, interrupting him and pushing a plate of chicken into his hands. ‘Stop being so controlling. I’m sure Kyla knows whether she needs an evening at home or not. Why don’t you just eat my chicken? Don’t let Kirsty grab it—I’ve done something different for her.’
Kyla mentally blessed Evanna for her tact and then blushed slightly as she felt Logan’s searching gaze on her face.
He knew.
She could tell by his face that he knew, and she gave a faint smile and a shrug.
Her brother was very astute about other people’s problems, she mused, just not about his own.