Oh. So Beth was Joel’s daughter. And he was a single parent. Lisa flushed. ‘Oh, no. I really put my foot in it today. I asked him if he was good with kids.’
‘He is. And you weren’t to know,’ Ben said with a sympathetic smile.
‘How old is she?’ Lisa asked.
‘Five. The accident happened a couple of years back.’
So Beth had been three when she’d lost her mum. It had been hard enough for herself at the age of sixteen, but three was so young. How tough it must be for Beth, seeing all her friends with a mummy and daddy—or even a step-parent—and wondering why she was different. ‘Rough on her. Poor kid.’
‘Yeah. But Joel’s made it clear he’s not looking for a mother figure for her,’ Nell said.
‘Warning received and understood,’ Lisa said quietly. More than Nell would ever know. Because she understood exactly where Joel was coming from, too. She’d learned it well from her mother’s example: nobody would ever match up to the man Ella Richardson had lost, and she’d loved him too much to want anyone else in her life.
Joel clearly felt exactly the same way about his late wife. So he was the last man on earth Lisa should want to get involved with.
‘Joel’s a lovely bloke. Salt of the earth. He’ll do anything to help anyone. All I’m saying is, there’s no point in any woman falling for him—gorgeous as he is—because no way will he let anyone into his life,’ Nell said. ‘Even though it would do him good.’ She sighed. ‘You can’t live in the past. You have to move on, eventually.’
Ha. It had been twelve years, and Ella hadn’t moved on. Lisa had the feeling that she never would. ‘Some people just love one person too much to have room for anyone else,’ Lisa said softly.
‘Maybe.’ Nell grimaced. ‘Sorry, this is a bit of a miserable conversation for a Monday night. Especially as we’re supposed to be welcoming you to the team.’ She topped up Lisa’s glass. ‘Ignore me. I didn’t mean to imply that you’d throw yourself at him. I mean, you might be married.’
Lisa chuckled at the obvious fishing. ‘Actually, I’m single. And that’s the way I like it. I’ve got a career to think of.’
‘Make sure you never sit in our receptionist’s chair, then,’ Ben warned darkly. ‘Every woman who’s sat there for the last three years has been married and off on maternity leave before you can blink!’
‘Oi, you, don’t start spreading rumours. I’m not pregnant,’ Ally, the receptionist, called across the table. ‘And I don’t even have a boyfriend!’
Ben tapped the side of his nose with a forefinger. ‘Just you wait. Give it six months, and you’ll be getting your gran to knit you lots of bootees. That chair’s got a reputation.’
Lisa laughed. ‘Thanks for the warning. I’ll remember that.’ Though she wasn’t planning on getting pregnant or even getting involved with anyone any time soon.
If ever.
‘DADDY, you look growly,’ Beth said.
Joel ruffled her hair. ‘I’m fine, kitten.’ Actually, he wasn’t fine. Far from it. But he had no intention of worrying his daughter. ‘Come on. Let’s go to school.’ Being on late shift meant that Beth was usually ready for bed when he picked her up from Hannah, her childminder, so he didn’t get time for more than a bedtime story—and most of the time she fell asleep before he’d finished. But the good thing about late shifts was that instead of having to get her ready for school and dropping her off at Hannah’s at the crack of dawn, he was able to take her to school himself. Which meant he saw her smiling, meeting her friends in the playground and running around with them, playing some sort of game or other. He could see for himself that she was happy and well adjusted and settled.
Days like these, he thought maybe he was doing an OK job of being a single parent. That Beth was coping fine without having a mum.
And then the guilt would press down on him. Squash him flat. If he’d taken proper care of Vanessa in the first place…
Guilt that was doubly compounded by the X-rated dreams he’d had for the last week or so. Dreams about a certain SHO with an elfin face, mischievous blue eyes, straightforward manner and infectious smile. Dreams he had no right to have.
He certainly shouldn’t have felt possessive when the coastguard crew had been discussing the new air ambulance doctor who’d attended the incident where a kid had got stuck in a hole when the tide had been on its way in, and how gorgeous she was. He shouldn’t have wanted to snarl at them to leave her alone because she was already spoken for—by him. Because she wasn’t. Lisa Richardson was a free spirit, someone who owed him nothing. Someone he couldn’t expect to give up her single lifestyle and take on his commitments.
‘Daddy?’
‘Coming, sweetheart.’ He managed to focus on his daughter until the classroom door opened, she kissed him goodbye and followed her schoolfriends inside. And then he stomped back to their cottage.
Why couldn’t he get Lisa Richardson out of his head?
This was the first time in two years that any woman other than Vanessa had haunted his dreams. The first time in two years that he’d felt that pull of attraction. The first time in two years that he’d been aware of someone walking into a room even when his back was turned to the door.
But he couldn’t let himself act on it. Couldn’t take that risk again. It wasn’t just his heart in danger: it was Beth’s. And Lisa’s, too, when he turned out to be Mr Wrong and let her down.
He blitzed the house, hoping that the action of scrubbing things clean again would scrub all thoughts of Lisa from his head. They’d worked together for a month, now, and although he thought she was a fine doctor—soothing the patients without being patronising, then treating them efficiently and effectively—she was completely wrong for him.
Number one, she worked in the same department, and inter-departmental relationships were always bad news for the rest of the team.
Number two, she could be engaged or even married, as far as he knew.
Ha. Who was he trying to kid? Ben had already mentioned that Lisa was available. And that she’d turned Jack Harrowven and Mark down when they’d asked her out. And he really shouldn’t have been quite so pleased about that.
Number three…Oh, come on. Surely he could think of a third reason. He should be able to think of a dozen reasons why seeing Lisa would be a bad idea. Between Beth, work and the coastguard, there wasn’t any room for a relationship in his life.
And it was completely irrelevant that he saw Lisa at work and sometimes when he was volunteering. On her last duty on the air ambulance, he’d actually worked with her: he’d helped her strap a casualty into a stretcher and checked her line before she’d been winched up from his lifeboat.
He scrubbed harder at the limescale in the shower. He was not going to think about Lisa Richardson. Or speculate how soft her skin might be. Or wonder how it would feel to have that beautiful mouth tracking down his body…
But it didn’t work. He just couldn’t get her out of his head. So he was still in a bad mood by the time he started his shift.
A mood that worsened by mid-afternoon, when he was called to see a patient who’d been in a car accident and was complaining of abdominal pain. A patient who was six months pregnant: just like Vanessa had been when she’d died.
Part of him was tempted to give the case to someone