“You’ve met Becca Parsons and her little daughter, Bethany,” Martha said to David, rubbing her hand across Ellen’s back. The girl had refused to let her mother go home and get fresh clothes for her. Or to borrow a T-shirt and shorts from Pastor Marks. She’d refused to let her clothes be taken from her body.
She’d refused to let her mother go, period, which was why Martha—in spite of seat belt laws—had a twenty-year-old child in her lap. Let some cop try to stop them and give her a hard time about it.
“Of course I know them,” David was saying. “As the new mayor, she gave me my official welcome to town.” He barely took his eyes from the road, but Martha felt his glance in their direction. “Will and I have played golf a time or two.”
Martha wondered why Becca hadn’t mentioned that.
“Dr. Anderson’s the one who helped them have Bethany,” Martha said now, hoping to reassure her daughter, somehow, that miracles did happen. That everything was going to be okay.
Reassure her child of something she knew in her heart was not the truth.
“After twenty years of trying, the impossible became possible, thanks to Dr. Anderson’s care and compassion.” If nothing else, she was filling the car with something besides the agony in her arms. In her daughter’s heart.
The hope that sometimes life did work out for the best. The belief that good people did win. That justice would be done.
Ellen’s fingers relaxed their grip on Martha’s blouse, just for a second. The tightness in Martha’s heart eased for that second, too.
“And now they have Kim, too.” David’s words were matter-of-fact.
The little Korean boy Becca and Will had adopted the previous summer. “Yeah.”
“Each is an example of faith,” he said softly.
Ellen whimpered and Martha moved her hand from her daughter’s back to the hair that was still caked to her head. Martha swallowed back nausea. God, she needed some time alone with her baby.
To bathe her. To help Ellen feel clean again.
“Faith?” Because of the child in her arms she had to restrain the intensity of the anger his words instilled. But she did so with great difficulty. Who did he think he was? Preaching, even now! She wanted to scream at him to drop it. “You got that one wrong, Preacher,” she said, rocking Ellen gently as the girl moaned again. “Becca had long ago lost faith and given up any hope of having a baby. Bethany’s arrival was sheer luck. Or the twisted humor of fate.”
The same fate that was playing with them now? As they drove Martha’s sweet daughter to see how much damage had actually been done—and to prevent any consequences from the hell she’d suffered while Martha was at home, oblivious, nagging Tim to do his math homework.
“Will never lost faith. Or gave up hope.”
The words weren’t loud, but they were firm.
Martha couldn’t reply. She didn’t feel like arguing. Let the man have his fantasies about the power of faith and hope.
She couldn’t afford them.
CHAPTER FIVE
IT WAS ALMOST MIDNIGHT by the time they got home. After the doctor had taken care of her, Ellen had met with a police artist who’d come to the hospital and she’d given a description of her attacker. Then she’d swallowed something to help her sleep—and she’d been dead to the world in the back seat of the Explorer before they left the lights of Phoenix behind. A counseling appointment had been arranged for the following afternoon. Martha anxiously stood by as David pulled her sleeping daughter out of the car and carried her into the house.
“What’s going on?” Shelley was there, wide-eyed and looking younger than she had in years, as they came into the foyer.
With a quick hug for her teenager who’d been so full of anger lately, Martha said, “In a minute,” and led David through the sprawling single-story house to Ellen’s bedroom.
Shelley was right behind them, and without saying a word, helped her mother undress her sister and get her into bed, while David spoke quietly to the other two kids out in the hall. Rebecca had appeared shortly after they’d come in. Tim, if he’d been asleep, had obviously heard them and woken up.
“Where’d these clothes come from?” Shelley whispered, uncharacteristically folding the garments and laying them carefully on the dresser.
“The hospital.”
God, Martha wondered, how was she going to do this? How could she tell her kids what had happened to their older sister? How could she help any of them live with the fear that had been permanently introduced to their home that night?
How was she going to get through these next minutes when what she needed to do was crawl under the blankets and cry until there were no tears left?
Shelley didn’t ask what had happened. The kids all knew what Martha had known when she’d received the call from David Marks earlier that evening. There was some sort of emergency with Ellen. Martha had called from the hospital to tell them she’d be home soon—bringing Ellen—and that they’d talk when she got there.
Rape wasn’t something she could talk to her daughters about over the phone.
And then she was in the living room with her two younger girls, sitting on the floor with them, one under each arm, their backs against the couch. She’d pushed the coffee table away, turned on a fire in the gas fireplace. And tried to take comfort from the familiarity around her. The books on the bookshelf, just as they’d been for so many years. Books filled with wisdom.
And escape.
Tim had disappeared. She had Pastor David Marks to thank for that. And knew, somehow, that her son would be told what he needed to know.
“She was bruised.” Shelley was the first to speak.
“I didn’t get to see her.” Rebecca’s long, gangly legs were pulled up to her chest. “She was in a car accident, wasn’t she?”
Martha swallowed.
“Did someone die?” Rebecca’s sweetness tore at Martha’s heart. She smoothed a hand down the side of her daughter’s head, gaining what strength she could from the feel of her silky black hair.
“Is the car totaled?” Shelley asked without any inflection at all. The sixteen-year-old knew a car was not the problem. “Was it Ellen’s fault?”
Martha took a deep breath, lowered her hands, taking a young hand in each of hers.
“Girls, Ellen was—” Her throat closed. She couldn’t do it. Didn’t want her daughters to see the tears she couldn’t seem to control now that she was home.
“What, Mama?” Rebecca’s reversion to the name she hadn’t called her mother since she was six told the whole story.
Shelley didn’t say a word. Martha had a feeling she knew.
How did she say this delicately? Disguise something so ugly to make it palatable for fifteen-year-old ears?
“She was raped tonight.”
Not at all how she wanted to say it. Not at all what she wanted to say. Not to them. Not ever. Not to anyone.
She didn’t mean them to, but tears slid slowly down her cheeks, unchecked