Dan brushed a tangle of hair away from his daughter’s face, then gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“Love you, munchkin.”
“Love you, punchkin,” the little girl repeated with a giggle.
Dan smoothed her hair again, smiling at her, the love for his daughter softening his features.
Hailey swallowed as she watched the scene between father and daughter. She always knew Dan would make a good father.
Her heart twisted with old sorrow and old regrets and a flurry of “what ifs.”
She pressed her eyes shut a moment, as if to close her mind to the past. One quick breath and the memories were gone. When she opened her eyes she caught Dan’s frown.
She flashed him a quick smile as if to let him know that everything was just fine. Then she took Natasha’s hand and led her to the table.
It was fine, she assured herself. Everything was, indeed, just fine.
But it was also just temporary.
Daddy Lessons
Carolyne Aarsen
Oh, the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments and His paths beyond tracing out.
—Romans 11:33
As a writer I am so thankful
that I don’t work alone. I want to thank my editor, Tina James, for her hard work and patient guidance in shaping my stories.
Chapter One
“C’mon, honey, we’ve got to get going. You don’t want to be late for your first day of school.” Dan Morrow tossed his daughter’s backpack over his shoulder and reached for Natasha to help her down from the truck.
Bright orange buses pulled up along the sidewalk of Hartley Creek Elementary School, spilling out their loads of children. Some ran, some walked and some trudged up the sidewalk, their winter coats wide open, ignoring the chilly wind swirling snow around the school yard.
British Columbia mountain weather, Dan thought with a shudder.
But Natasha sat on the truck seat, her hands folded over her stomach, her brown hair hiding her face and falling down the front of her bright red winter jacket.
“My tummy still hurts,” she said, peeking through her hair, adding a wince in case he didn’t believe her. “And I still miss my mommy.” Natasha sniffed, her brown eyes shimmering with tears.
Despite her performance of variations on the same theme for the past few minutes, his heart still twisted at her words. Though he and Lydia had been divorced for five years, Dan was still dealing with his ex-wife’s recent death. He couldn’t imagine what his little girl, who had lived with Lydia up until her death a month ago, was going through.
He pressed a kiss to Natasha’s head. “I know you’re sad, honey,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear so he could see her face. “But school is starting and you don’t want to be late, do you?” He made his voice reasonable and soothing, hoping she would move.
The bell sounded and the last of the stragglers entered the school. Dan tossed a quick glance toward the grade one classroom directly ahead of him. Kids moved past the frosted windows, getting settled into their desks. A taller figure stopped, looking out the window. Even from here, he caught the red-gold shine of Hailey Deacon’s hair, that little tilt of her head that told him she was watching them. He’d seen her stop before to look out the window and watch them as soon as they pulled into the parking lot.
He tried not to let his heart flip the way it always did whenever he saw her, back when they were dating.
Since he and Natasha had come back to Hartley Creek, he’d managed to avoid Hailey, his old girlfriend. But she worked as a teacher’s aide in the grade one class his daughter was supposed to attend. A first meeting between them was inevitable.
Dan turned back to Natasha, his concern for his daughter taking priority.
“I don’t want to go.” Her raised voice echoed over the now-empty school yard. “I want to stay with you.”
“I know, but you have to start school. And I need to get back to work at Grandpa’s hardware store.”
He was about to tug on Natasha’s arm again when a glint of reflected light from the school’s door caught his attention. The door fell closed and there she was, her coat open, her hair flowing like a copper flag behind her.
As she came closer he saw the concern on her delicate features, the frown above her gray eyes. His heart flipped again.
Everything has changed, he reminded himself, turning back to Natasha. You were married. You’ve got a daughter. You lost your chance with her. Stay out of the past.
“We’re going now,” he said to his daughter, trying to sound as if he was in charge.
But Natasha just looked ahead, her arms clasped tightly over her stomach.
“Sorry to barge in,” Hailey was saying. “But I noticed from the window you were having some trouble.”
Dan steeled himself, then turned to face his old girlfriend. She brushed a strand of hair back from her face as a hesitant smile played around the edges of her mouth. She looked as beautiful as she ever had. Maybe even more so. Old emotions seeped up from where he thought they were buried. He pushed them down. He had no right to get distracted.
“Natasha is upset,” he said curtly. “She doesn’t want to go to school.”
“Of course she’s sad,” Hailey replied, coming around to stand beside him. Then Hailey gave him a sympathetic look that almost found its way through the barriers he had thrown up. “I’m sorry to hear about your wife.”
“Ex-wife.”
She pulled back from him, his tone obviously accomplishing what he wanted—to keep her at arm’s length and protect himself.
“I heard about that too.” She attempted another smile, then turned back to Natasha.
Dan looked down at the top of Hailey’s head. She still parted her hair in that jagged line, still let it hang free over her shoulders, still wore perfume that smelled like oranges.
He clenched his fists and turned his wavering attention back to his daughter.
“Hello, Natasha, my name is Miss Deacon.” Hailey held her hand out. “I’ll be helping you in school this morning.”
She had pitched her voice to the same low, reassuring level she used when she taught children how to ski and snowboard on the ski hill.
“I don’t want to go to school,” Natasha said, turning to Dan, her voice breaking. Her cries tore at Dan’s heart. He couldn’t leave her like this. But neither could he take Natasha back to the apartment above the hardware store. His father was recuperating from an extreme case of bronchial pneumonia. His mother worked at his hardware store and couldn’t watch Natasha. Dan didn’t know anyone who could babysit during the day.
He cleared his throat, embarrassed that Hailey had to witness his lack of control over his daughter. “I’m sorry, Natasha, but it’s time for school.”
He tried to get his arms around her to lift her out of the truck, but she swung out at him. “I don’t want to go. Don’t make me go.”