The Love of Her Life
HARRIET EVANS
Darling Kate,
I’m sorry.
Perhaps one day, when you’re grown-up, you’ll understand why I’ve done it. Relationships are complicated, that’s the truth. Darling, I love you, and your father loves you. You mustn’t blame yourself. You are our little girl, and we’re both very proud of you.
You must come and see me soon,
Lots and lots of love,
Mummy
xxx
PS Happy belated fourteenth birthday, darling. I do hope you like the telescope, is it the one you wanted? Zoe helped me choose it, so I do hope so. Lots of love xxxxx
It’s not love. It’s just where I live. Nora Ephron, Moving On
Set me a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thinearm; for love is stronger than death.
Song of Solomon, ch VIII , v6
Contents
Title Page Epigraph Part One Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Part Two Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Part Three Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three Chapter Thirty-Four Part Four Chapter Thirty-Five Chapter Thirty-Six Chapter Thirty-Seven Chapter Thirty-Eight Chapter Thirty-Nine Chapter Forty Chapter Forty-One Chapter Forty-Two Chapter Forty-Three Preview Acknowledgements About the Author Praise By The Same Author Copyright About The Publisher
New York, 2007
Her father wasn’t well. They kept saying she shouldn’t worry too much, but she should still come back to London. He had had an operation – emergency kidney transplant, he’d been bumped right up the list. He was lucky to get one, considering his lifestyle, his age, everything. They kept saying that, too. Earlier, before it was an emergency, Kate had even been tested, to see if she could be a donor. She couldn’t, which made her feel like a bad daughter.
It all happened so suddenly. It was Monday afternoon when she got the call telling her it had happened, the previous day, after a kidney miraculously became available. He’d been unwell for a few years now, the diabetes and the drinking; and the stress of his new life, he was busier than ever – but how had it got to this, got so far? Apparently he had collapsed; the next day he’d been put at the top of the transplant list; and that afternoon, Daniel was given a new kidney. Kate’s stepmother Lisa had rung the following day to let her know.
‘I think he’d very much like to see you.’ Lisa’s rather nasal voice was not improved by the tinny phone line.
‘Of – of course,’ Kate said. She cast around for something to say. ‘Oh god. How … how is he now?’
‘He’s alive, Kate. It was very sudden. But he’s got much much worse these last few months. So he’s not that well. And he’d like to see you. Like I say. He misses you.’
‘Yes,’ said Kate. Her throat was dry, her heart was pounding. ‘Yes. Yes, of course.’
‘He’s going to be in intensive care for a few days, you know. Can you come next week? You can get the time off at the office, I presume.’ Lisa made no other comment, but a variety of the comments she could make hung in the air, and rushing in next to them came millions of other guilty thoughts, all jostling for attention in front of Kate till she couldn’t see anything. She rubbed her eyes with one hand as she cradled the phone on her shoulder. Her darling dad, and she hadn’t seen him for eighteen months, hadn’t been back to London in nearly three years. How the hell … was this emergency, his rapid decline, was it her fault? No, of course it wasn’t, but still, Kate couldn’t escape the thought that she had made him ill herself,