Mr
Good Enough
LORI GOTTLIEB
The Case for
Choosing a Real Man Over Holding Out for Mr Perfect
For my husband, whoever you are.
Contents
PART ONE: How Did We Get Here?
2: The Romantic Comedy That Predicted My Future
3: How Feminism Fucked Up My Love Life
PART TWO: From Fantasy to Reality
5: Older, and Wanting to Be Wiser
8: Mondays with Evan: Session One: The Percentages
PART THREE: Making Smarter Choices
11: Mondays with Evan: Session Two: The Wrong Assumptions
14: Mondays with Evan: Session Three: The Lowdown
15: What First Dates Really Tell Us
16: Are Wo men Pickier Than Men?
PART FOUR: What Really Matters
17: Mondays with Evan Session Four: Wants Versus Needs
19: Love at Twenty-seventh Sight
20: Mondays with Evan: Session Five: The Chemistry-to-Compatibility Ratio
21: Dump the List, Not the Guy
PART FIVE: Putting It All Together
24: Claire’s Story—Getting Over Myself
25: Alexandra’s Story—Mr. Right in Front of Me
26: Hilary’s Story—Finding What I Needed
27: My Story—A Dating Public Service Announcement
The events and facts presented in this book are true and based upon my reallife experiences and research. Names and personal details of some of my friends and others who appear in the book have been changed or, in a few instances, composites created either at the individual’s request or out of my concern for their privacy.
You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep
because reality is finally better than your dreams.
—Widely attributed to Dr. Seuss
A NEW STORE HAS OPENED. A HUSBAND STORE! THERE‘S A SIGN AT THE ENTRANCE:
YOU MAY VISIT THE HUSBAND STORE ONLY ONCE. THERE ARE SIX FLOORS, AND THE VALUE OF THE PRODUCTS INCREASE ON EACH SUCCESSIVE FLOOR. THE SHOPPER CAN CHOOSE ANY ITEM FROM A PARTICULAR FLOOR, OR GO UP TO SHOP ON THE NEXT FLOOR, BUT SHE CANNOT GO BACK DOWN EXCEPT TO EXIT THE BUILDING.
So, a woman goes into the store. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
FLOOR I— MEN WHO HAVE GOOD JOBS.
“That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upward, where the sign reads:
FLOOR 2—MEN WHO HAVE GOOD JOBS AND LOVE KIDS.
She’s intrigued, but continues to the third floor, where the sign reads:
FLOOR 3—MEN WHO HAVE GOOD JOBS, LOVE KIDS, AND ARE EXTREMELY HANDSOME.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
FLOOR 4—MEN WHO HAVE GOOD JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE EXTREMELY HANDSOME, AND HELP EQUALLY WITH THE HOUSEWORK.