Attention! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA, INTERNATIONAL LEGISLATION, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, MAKING CHANGES TO THE TEXT OF THE PLAY WHEN STAGED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR IS PROHIBITED. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF A DIRECT CONTRACT BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.
A play for 8 people and one fish
Comedy. Duration 1 hour 15 minutes.
ACTORS
Petyunya (Peter) is about 40-50 years old.
Klara is Peter's wife, about 20-30 years old.
The drone (Andrey) is about 40-50 years old.
Tamara is Andrey's wife, very attractive, about 40 years old.
Asya – we will not reveal who she is yet. The age according to the scenario is 17 years old.
The old one (Ilya) is about 50-60 years old.
Bozhena is Ilya's wife, about 30-40 years old.
Miron – we won't reveal who he is yet. Age about 30-40 years.
Sturgeon (or someone else) is a live fish, a full member of the cast.
Scenography! For fishing scenes, you will need a container with water in the foreground (you may need several containers if you separate them for each fisherman separately), which will simulate a lake – reservoir. Some kind of stage barrier (logs, branches, whatever, reflecting the edge of an abandoned reservoir) should be provided so that a container with water could not be seen behind this barrier, and at the same time the viewer had a full-fledged effect of immersion in the atmosphere of fishing and there was a feeling that a real lake was behind the fence.
It may make sense to cover the first two rows of seats with some kind of cloth, because it is quite possible that splashes will fly there. The viewer will not appreciate it if he is somewhat wetted. But it is also possible to remove the reservoir from the foreground, so as not to lose the first rows. At the discretion of the director.
Also, for the final scene, you will need a live fish. Presumably a sturgeon (but not fundamentally, you can also have someone else, big and spectacular)! Alive! Healthy! (A large sturgeon, so that it could be seen from the last rows of the hall). Only, chur, do not torment the fish, treat it carefully, as a full-fledged actor for the entire period of productions, and at the end of the planned performances, release it into the appropriate reservoir. The fish, most likely, will need to be pierced, and fix the ring so as not to pierce the lip or cheek with each crocheting. And it's even better to make a kind of collar – grip from two small straps connected to each other and fixed on the tapering parts of our atypical actor, so as not to injure the fish at all. I do not tolerate animal husbandry and cruel treatment of either people or animals. Even if the audience does not like the performance (and they will like the performance for sure), so we will save at least one fish from being eaten from the hypermarket. Take care of the fish, pamper and protect!!!
To change the scenery in three different apartments, it is recommended to divide the stage into two parts with a kind of large screen, or even better fences with printed illustrations of nature, bushes, a forest (background for fishing scenes). Our fishermen will be sitting in the foreground, while behind the fences it will be easy to change the situation in the apartments for other scenes (you can not change it, but the performance will look more spectacular and spectacular if two changes of scenery in the apartments are still carried out).
Scene 1. Fishing
Earlier in the morning.
The sounds of nature are heard. Perhaps you can hear the buzzing of a dragonfly, the chirping of birds, a light breeze… Something like that.
The action takes place on a stage near the proscenium.
In a fisherman's uniform (traditionally a protective color), with fishing rods in their hands, three of our heroes are sitting on folding portable chairs (someone, perhaps, on an inverted bucket), fishing. The drone is wearing a cap, the rest are without caps. The views are philosophically detached and focused at the same time. Petyunya looks at the float, the drone looks into the distance (hall). The old one looks up at the sky.
The old one (thoughtfully, philosophically, slowly and lingeringly, lowering his thoughtful gaze from heaven, softly, addressing his friends). That's why I love fishing, so it's because it is full of calmness and poise!
Petyunya jumps off his chair, barely has time to finish and starts nervously furiously lashing his fishing rod on the pond (water splashes naturally from the pond) and at the same time screaming with all his strength.
Petyunya (as emotionally as possible). Yes, grab her in the net! Why don't they bite at all, aaaaa??? (nervously, with a growl, announcing the nearest streets of the theater) AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Petyunya continues to bludgeon the pond with a fishing rod.
The Old One and the Drone don't even-don't even give the slightest sign of a change in their internal reasoning. They absolutely do not pay attention to what their friend is doing, although it is quite obvious that after such numbers, there will certainly be no bite.
They sit in the same poses, they look at each other in the same mysterious and philosophical way.
Petyunya, after yelling and whipping the pond with his fishing rod, jumping in hysterics a couple of times, and trying to pull himself together, puts a new bait, (you don't need a live bait, the props of a worm or a bloodworm are enough). Then he defiantly loudly spits on the bait, wipes his fingers on his pants, because naturally the spit overtakes not only the bait, then spits cautiously and cautiously on the heads of his friends, but these spits are more symbolic, and his friends are accustomed to such antics, they do not react. Petyunya throws a new tackle into the pond, then sits down as if nothing had happened, continues to fish with an irresistible face full of calm and peacefulness.
The Old One and the Drone don't pay attention to anything. They are sitting as they were sitting.
Silence… Sounds of nature… the original picture.
The old one, after a short pause, thoughtfully and philosophically breaks the silence, lowering a thoughtful look from heaven.
The sounds of nature subside.
The old one (softly, addressing the Drone). Our Petyunya, of course, is a peculiar person, to be honest, his character is explosive, but he is a kind man by nature, responsive.
The old one wipes off his head with his hand what Petyunya spat, which means he replaced it. Wipes off his head, wipes his palm on his pants.
The drone obediently nods, supporting the words of the Old One, staying somewhere in his thoughts, observing the former calmness, only shakes off the cap with a habitual movement of his hand and puts it back on his head. But now he leaves his thoughts, claps his hands busily on his knees, rubs them.
Drone (thoughtfully, thoughtfully). Here we are what we are. No masks, no labels. Here we are not Andrey, Peter and Ilya, but the Drone, Petyunya and the Old One. And we are so comfortable and we feel so good! And everything else is empty. (Cheerfully, turning to his friends, changing the mood) Well, guys?
An anticipatory pause. The trio looks at each other knowingly.
Old (anticipating, to the Drone). Biting?
Drone (positive, Old, without looking at the fishing rods). In my opinion, it bites.
Petyunya (looking at the Drone float, affirmatively). Definitely biting!
The drone gets up, takes up its rod (this is a fishing rod, if anyone does not know, nothing like that is meant here). He holds the fishing rod with passion, it bends under the weight, the fishing line is stretched, the drone is about to pull out the coveted trophy.
Stary and Petyunya perk up, jump up and start shouting sympathetically, nervously glancing at the Drone float.
Petyunya and the Old One (in two voices, vying with each other, nervously, interested, sympathetically). Come on, come on, come on, hook up, pull, start, hook up, come on, come on, well, and…