When we repress something or push it further and further into the background, inner blockages and emotional sensitivity arise. It's like sweeping dirt under the carpet to stop seeing it. Out of sight, out of mind. This may work well for a moment, but it becomes a problem in the long run. At some point you just have to tap on the metaphorical carpet and a whole avalanche breaks out. It's exactly the same with your mind. At some point you react so sensitively to certain topics that you introduce avoidance tactics and take real detours during conversations in order not to be confronted with the repressed from the back of your head. This behavior does not fit a self-confident person. It robs you of confidence in yourself and gives you the unpleasant feeling of being weak.
Get rid of it. Take a moment to think about what you're putting off. Go ahead and make a small list. No one needs to see her, just do it for yourself. Then think about the following two suggestions:
- What negative consequences can I expect if I don't deal with them promptly?
- I'm gonna have to deal with this sooner or later anyway. So I'd better do it now before it gets any worse.
In order to build healthy self-confidence, you need to know each other first and foremost. Remember that? So you need to know exactly what's bothering you. Then you must earn your own trust. You do this by showing courage and finally getting the ball rolling. Take on what you were afraid of so far. The resulting relief will give you a wonderful feeling. You'll know who gave you that elation: Himself. And already you are a bit more self-confident again!
10. Measure for more self-confidence: Promote your strengths and talents
There is one idiom that, while terribly counterproductive, is still used by most people. It's, "Self-praise stinks." You have certainly heard or even said this before and you have certainly encountered this "wisdom" for the first time in your childhood. Now I'd like to ask you two interesting questions: How can one be proud of oneself and one's abilities and develop a healthy self-confidence if one grows up with the principle that self-praise is a bad quality? And is it still surprising that most people derive their self-esteem from confirmation by others when they have learned that self-praise is not an option? As you can see, we are not doing ourselves any favours with the truism mentioned at the beginning. Self-praise doesn't stink. On the contrary. It is very good for the self-confidence to deal with one's strengths and talents.
You live your own life and are responsible for it. Accordingly, you yourself should also be the source of your appreciation and encouragement. If you need the praise of others to feel good, make yourself addicted. They distance themselves from themselves and are externally controlled, i.e. anything but self-confident. Therefore you should deal with your strengths. What are you particularly good at? What can you be proud of? What's your talent for? What skills or special expertise have you acquired over the last few years? How often is this used in your everyday life? Do you profit from it? Or are you afraid to take advantage of it because self-praise supposedly stinks?
Life is short. That makes it all the more important to spend your time doing what you really like to do. This is not a privilege reserved for a few or "special" people. It's simply your right, so make use of it. Do not fear the thought of making an arrogant impression if you are convinced of yourself and your possibilities. If you didn't talk about anything else all day long and rub it under your fellow human beings' noses permanently, it would probably really stink. As long as this is not the case, however, you can be completely unconcerned. Anyway, you don't care what anybody else thinks about you. We have already seen this a number of times. As the saying goes: A lion is not interested in what the sheep think about him. As a self-confident person you recognize the high value of your self- perception. The image that you have of yourself is much more important than the image that you may give to the outside world. So go ahead, be proud of yourself and what you're particularly good at. Take advantage of it as often as possible in your everyday life.
As a rule, we are particularly good at the things we like to do. If you invest your full passion, attention and energy into a thing or a project, something good comes out of it. Something to be proud of. You'll admire yourself for it. It will strengthen your self-confidence as you gain new insights about abilities. The resulting success will strengthen your self-confidence and the feeling of happiness will ignite your self-love. All you can do is win.
Whether you play an instrument, build something with your hands, play a particular sport or write a book is entirely up to you. If you're not sure what your passion or talent is right now, get adventurous and try a lot of things. You do this until you have found something that you really enjoy and that fills you with satisfaction. Such a simple thing can do a lot for us and our self-confidence. Do not underestimate this effect.
Never forget that self-praise doesn't stink. If you're not proud of yourself, then who is? Do you want to constantly wait for the confirmation of others and hope that someone will perceive you or simply provide for more self- confidence yourself?
11. Measure for more self-confidence: Stop comparing yourself
We are always busy comparing ourselves with others. If we see the new car of a neighbour, we immediately ask ourselves whether it is better than our own. If we see the new hairstyle of a colleague, we compare her appearance directly with our own. If someone tells us about his net income, we compare it directly with what he receives in his own account. What do you spontaneously think of at this point? In which situations do you compare yourself with others?
Often we're jealous, too, without wanting it. It's not a bad thing, it's perfectly natural. We see a beautiful, big house and wish we would live in it ourselves. We see an extremely successful athlete and want to be able to do the same as he is. We hear about the professional success of a friend and are annoyed about not having chosen the same path. Then we compare all this with our own lives and become dissatisfied. It is a comparison in which we can only lose, because as a rule we only compare ourselves with people who are in a "better" situation. For those who would be jealous of us, we have little or no attention.
Self-confidence is about being mindful of one's own life. If, however, we are constantly busy concentrating on the successes and progresses of our fellow human beings, we move away from our own lives and thus from ourselves. There is an alienation again, which weakens the self-confidence and thus also the self-confidence. What can we logically do about it? Right, we just stop comparing ourselves to others. Here are some useful information that will help you:
Always remember that every person is unique. Everyone has their own individual background story. Everyone has different ideas about life, different abilities, talents and perhaps also a completely different attitude towards success. Basically, it doesn't matter what others do because it doesn't change what you do with yourself and your life. At most, it helps to peer over someone else's shoulder from time to time and thus gain a bit of motivation. That's all it is. What changes other people's successes in your own?
In addition, you should always ask yourself whether what you envy about others would really fit into your life. The wealthy businessman probably worked extremely hard for years, took incalculable risks and had to sacrifice a lot to get this far. Would you want that too? In the same way, the successful athlete has to train every day in order to maintain his performance level. He has an exceptionally strict diet plan and has to plan his day hard so that his body is always capable of peak performance. Would you like some? And even the banal things have their downsides. The big new house in your neighbourhood is certainly very beautiful, but would you like to clean it, take care of the garden and bear all the costs?
Even if you don't envy someone, but just compare them to yourself, don't do yourself a favor. No matter what the outcome of this comparison! You should derive your self-confidence and self-esteem from yourself, not from the fact of looking better than others or being more successful. You are unique, so also be unique. Everyone else already exists. That