They now know what self-confidence really is, how it arises, develops and why so many people lack it. Your task now is to make use of these foundations and to build up your self-confidence sustainably with the help of practical measures. In the following you will get to know 12 such measures. Question your own situation and the reasons why you long for more self-confidence. Be open-minded and willing to work against these causes. Use the main part of the short guidebook as motivation and support, so that you will soon be able to register the first positive results!
1. Measure for more self-confidence: Get to know each other
If self-confidence is about knowing oneself well, the most important basis is logically to get to know oneself sufficiently. This may sound banal, but never underestimate the effectiveness of simple approaches. As already mentioned, our everyday life consists to a very large extent of decisions. Those who know each other well can quickly and safely decide for their best. People with weak self-confidence have difficulty making decisions. This is particularly serious when major decisions have to be made, such as changing jobs, moving to a new home, buying a car or something similar. But when you're clear about your strengths, weaknesses, preferences, and character traits, it's easy to do the right thing and stand by it.
Furthermore, it is essential for your self-confidence to know yourself well. You only trust someone you know. Consequently, you must also earn (back) your own trust. The better you know your strengths, the more confident you are. The more you trust yourself, the more success you will experience that will strengthen your self- confidence and self-love. The better you understand your weaknesses, the more realistic you can be with risks and avoid serious mistakes. This also strengthens confidence in oneself. The better you know what you want from life, the easier it is for you to get exactly that. As you can see, you should not take it lightly to get to know your true nature. It's worth it. But how does it work? How can you get to know yourself better?
Imagine meeting a person for the first time. What would you want to know from this person first? What questions would you ask? And what was that person supposed to find out from you? Which of your qualities would you like to highlight because you are proud of them? Get a realistic impression of what you really need to know about yourself. Find out for yourself. Get to know each other better by asking yourself the right questions. As a little help I will give you a few questions in the following. Try to answer them honestly. You are alone with this e-book, so you can be completely open and relaxed. You will be amazed, as some of these questions may make you think longer:
- Who am I, anyway?
- Am I at peace with myself and satisfied?
- If not, what exactly makes me dissatisfied?
- What do I do about this dissatisfaction?
- What are my strengths?
- What can I do particularly well?
- How often do my strengths come to the fore in everyday life?
- What are my weaknesses?
- How often do my weaknesses stand in my way?
- What is my basic attitude towards life?
- What do I want to achieve in my life?
- Am I on the right track to doing this?
- What is really important to me?
- Does what's important to me have a place in my life?
- What am I interested in and how much time do I spend?
- How would someone who met me for the first time perceive me?
- If I could wish for a change, what would it be?
Also, ask yourself very loose and simple questions. Think about what music you like to listen to, what movies you like to watch and what you prefer to eat. Call up your hobbies in front of your eyes and whether they satisfy you.
Get to know each other completely. The more accurate, the better. You will find that you can answer some questions quickly and easily, while some are difficult for you. That is quite normal and sense of exercise.
Work with the answers that come out of this exercise. Intensify what you like and what already works well in your life. Take advantage of your strengths. Don't let your weaknesses sit on you and don't let them demotivate you. Work against them! In the following you will find some help for this. Call up your goals and wishes before your eyes and make concrete plans to achieve them.
Realize that you are the most important person in your life. This is not a selfish thought, but the key to your happiness. Even if other people have a high value in your life, you are still responsible for yourself. You can only love others if you love yourself. You can only help others if you are able to help yourself. You can only be a good role model for others if you can be proud of yourself. These are logical principles of true self-consciousness. Recognize and accept your responsibility towards yourself. Your personal happiness begins with you.
Get to know the person who holds your life in their hands. So you will learn to trust and love this person.
2. Measure for more self-confidence: Be independent
If it is your life and you have full responsibility, why should it be important or decisive what other people think about you? The fear of not pleasing others or of falling into their envy strongly affects our everyday lives. We adapt our behaviour accordingly and put our own interests and wishes aside. Does that look familiar to you? Do you know that from yourself? If so, that's no reason to get upset. It's just a good time to stop.
Too many people buy status symbols they can't afford to impress others with. We lie about our interests to make a positive impression. We say "yes" when we actually mean "no" and say that we are doing well when we are doing badly in reality. All this only because we constantly think about how our counterpart perceives us. Please don't take this the wrong way: thinking about one's external impression can be helpful, but that thought should not come first. First you come! Remember: There is only one opinion about you that really counts and this is your own!
What good does it do you to please others? How does it get you ahead in life? In fact, this has only very weak and superficial advantages for you. If, for example, you buy an expensive car to impress others, you are putting yourself in an unfavourable position. Someone will perceive you for about a minute and admire you for the great vehicle. After that this person will continue again and take care of his own affairs. The other 23 hours and 59 minutes of the day you have to stand straight for the car. They must bear the high costs and full responsibility for them.
If you go to work sick to make a positive impression on your boss, do yourself no favours at all. You are endangering your health in the long term, while the praise you receive only lasts for a few minutes. The truth is that even if you don't go to work, the company you work for will continue to exist. You are primarily responsible for yourself and not for what your employer thinks about you.
If you lose weight, exercise regularly and dress well, then you should do it for yourself first and foremost. It is important that you feel comfortable in your skin, because you only have this one body. The aesthetic feelings of other people should only play a subordinate role here. Everyone has a different taste, so you can't please everyone anyway. While you use your body continuously to cope with your everyday life, other people only see it for a relatively short time. So who should he be more important to?
A self-confident person acts in his own interest and does not think about what others might think. By the way, it is interesting to note that other people are more attracted to self-confident and self-determined personalities anyway. In plain language, this means that the stronger you build up and expand your self-confidence, the more attractive and desirable you will be in the eyes of others.
Be independent of foreign opinions and do your very own thing. A self-confident person recognizes and understands that responsibility means power.