Alfred Ayres
The Mentor
A little book for the guidance of such men and boys as would appear to advantage in the society of persons of the better sort
Published by Good Press, 2019
EAN 4064066232887
Table of Contents
| Personal Appearance, | page 11 |
| Dress, p. 12. Jewelry, watches, etc., p. 18. The hair, p. 21. The beard, p. 22. The nails, p. 24. The teeth, p. 24. Canes, p. 27. Full dress, p. 28. Dress at informal gatherings, p. 29, etc., etc., etc. | |
| At the Dinner-table, | page 31 |
| Invitations and answers, p. 32. Punctuality, p. 33. How to enter the drawing-room, p. 34. When dinner is announced, p. 36. Bearing at the table, p. 37. Soup, p. 39. Fish, p. 40. The knife and fork, p. 40. Asparagus, p. 43. The spoon controversy, p. 45. Boiled eggs, p. 47. Wine-drinking, p. 53. Finger-bowls and doilies, p. 55. When to fold your napkin, and when not to, p. 56, etc., etc., etc. | |
| In Public, | page 58 |
| How to walk, p. 59. To stand, p. 60. To sit, p. 61. Salutations, p. 61. The lady—which side in the street, p. 67. In public conveyances, p. 67. In a carriage, p. 68. How to carry umbrella or cane, p. 68. Hand-shaking, p. 70. Street introductions, p. 71. Street recognitions, p. 72. Smoking, p. 73. Humming and whistling, p. 76. The ball-room, p. 77. Party calls, p. 98. Card-playing, p. 98. Places of amusement, p. 100. Applause, p. 105. Remain to the end, p. 106. Bar-rooms, p. 108, etc., etc. | |
| Conversation, | page 109 |
| Calls and Cards, | “ 156 |
| Odds and Ends, | “ 169 |
| What is a Gentleman? | “ 199 |
Simple nature, however defective, is better than the least objectionable affectation; and, defects for defects, those that are natural are more bearable than affected virtues.—Saint-Evremond.
PERSONAL APPEARANCE.
Dress changes the manners.—Voltaire.
Whose garments wither shall receive faded smiles.—Sheridan Knowles.
Men of sense follow fashion so far that they are neither conspicuous for their excess nor peculiar by their opposition to it.—Anonymous.
The famous French painter, Girard, when quite young, was the bearer of a letter of introduction to a high officer at the court of Napoleon I. Girard was poorly dressed, and his reception was cold; but the courtier discovered in him such evidences of talent and good sense that on Girard’s rising to take leave, he arose also, and accompanied him to the antechamber.
The change in the courtier’s manner was so marked that Girard could not suppress an expression of surprise.
“My young friend,” said the courtier, “we receive strangers according to their dress; we take leave of them according to their merits.”
Good clothes are far from being sufficient to gain one admittance to the better circles of society, but without them admittance is impossible. When we go out into the world, it is not sufficient to do as others do, we must also dress as others dress.
He is best dressed whose dress attracts least attention; and in order not to attract attention, one’s dress must be seasonable, appropriate, conform to the prevailing fashion, without going in the least beyond it, and appear to be comfortable.
It requires something more than a full purse to enable one to dress well: it requires sense, taste, refinement. Indeed, dress may be considered in the light of a fine art. It is a pretty sure index of character, and few dress really well that would not be considered persons of culture.
In dress, as in all things else, the golden rule is to avoid extremes. The man of sense and taste never wears anything that is “loud,” flashy, or peculiar; he yields always to fashion,