“Yes, I know,” Guy murmured, his mind clearly on other things. “You know your farm will have to go?”
She nodded in abject resignation. “Maybe you can give me a job, like Rose?” She heard the bitterness in her voice, then felt appalled by it. “I’m sorry. I know how that sounded.”
“I could buy Briar’s Ridge,” Guy said.
She turned her head to look at him in amazement. He had sounded serious. “You don’t need it.”
“No.”
“So why would you do it?”
A muscle clenched along his clean jawline. “I’d do it if it would get your father back on his feet.” So she did mean something to him. But what?
“I don’t believe it would,” she answered, on reflection. “Dad is sunk in—not apathy, it’s despair. He tried to make that ‘confession’ a joke but he can’t fool me. He told me, ‘There’s love and there’s love.‘ He said he’d let a dream rule his life. That he wasn’t the one my mother wanted.”
“Isn’t that a confession?” Guy said with a strange note in his voice.
“You know it all, Guy. That’s why I’m telling you. In a way, your family and mine are bound together The richest family in the Valley, descendants of the old squattocracy, and an Irish immigrant who arrived in this country as a penniless boy with only a kindly great-aunt to take him in. Why did my mother choose the man she did? Why did my mother choose my father when even my father believes he wasn’t her heart’s choice?”
Guy took his time before he answered. “Your mother was pregnant at the time of her marriage, Alana. She married the father of her child. It’s as simple as that. She did what she believed was right.”
Tears choked her throat. “Do we even know that for sure? Why do Kieran and Alex act so strangely whenever they see one another? If I didn’t know better, I’d say Alex was Kieran’s woman of mystery. She certainly looks the part. Maybe they think they’re related? Maybe that’s what they’re afraid of?” She broke off, emotionally exhausted.
Guy’s dark eyes cut to her distraught profile. “Alan Callaghan was the father of Annabel’s child.” His voice had the ring of certainty. “Don’t make yourself sick toying with a fantasy. Although there is something odd in Kieran’s relationship with my sister. Whatever it is, it’s definitely not what you’ve just thrown in. You can get that out of your head right now. However your father won your mother—whatever method he used—it has haunted him. Believe me, Alana, Kieran is his son. Do you really think my father would have let his own child get away from him? Your mother alone made the decision to marry your father. She could not be dissuaded. Anyway, as a family you always gave the appearance of being happy. You were happy. Leave it at that, Alana. There’s nothing to be gained by asking too many painful questions to which you might never get an answer.”
Even so, immense frustration was building in her chest. “When I was a girl I used to hero-worship you,” she said in a tight voice.
He kept his eyes on the road. “You said that with such a mix of emotions. Am I going to have to do battle for you, Alana? You know I want you. I’m having trouble thinking of anything else but wanting you.” He lifted a hand off the wheel to touch her cheek.
Her body was swept by the sharpest aches and longings. Don’t you dare cry, she admonished herself. But her feelings were reflected in the melancholy tone of her voice. “So we start an affair? Is that it? Because you want me? For how long? What happens when it’s all over?” She turned her head to stare at him. “What could be the terrible result? For that matter, how do you know I won’t trap you into marriage? Even for you, someone renowned for never making a mistake, it wouldn’t be difficult. I could swear to be on the pill when I wasn’t. It’s been done before today. We both know of cases in the Valley.”
“You could never trap me,” he said. “The man who gets you, Alana, will be walking off with a prize. And let me correct you. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. Not, however, with women. Anyway, that’s not the way you are. You don’t have a dishonourable bone in your body.”
“I hope not.” Everything about him went deep with her. It was so much worse since they had crossed that dividing line. This man had the power to break her heart. She might be like her father. Some broken hearts never mended. “Do any of us truly know what we are until crisis time?” she asked. “Was Kieran’s conception just an accident?”
Guy’s face darkened. “Please, Alana, forget it.”
“Easier said than done. Maybe much of life is a series of accidents? What do you really want of me, Guy? I must tell you I’m no plaything to be enjoyed and then thrown away.”
“You think I see you as a plaything?” he asked with a flare of anger. “I don’t fall into the emotionally screwed up category, Alana. And in case you’ve started thinking revenge; forget it. Revenge is not in my heart. We both know we’ve always had a connection, though I suppose both of us have done our best to cover it up. I was older when you were just growing up. It made a difference. Then.”
Hadn’t his position, his charisma, his experience and sophistication kept her in awe for a long time? She stared out of the window for a few moments. “Were you ever sleeping with Violette?” she asked finally. She couldn’t stop herself. That was the other thing. His relationship with her cousin.
Guy’s mouth twisted. “Okay—yes! I was for a while. I won’t lie to you. My mother was very much in favor of Violette. I guess you don’t understand why. I don’t know that I do myself,” he said wryly. “But Violette can be very charming when she puts her mind to it. She knows how to insinuate herself with the right people. I’m sure you know what I mean. But our relationship couldn’t go beyond a certain stage. We’re very different people. Violette will find someone to suit her. I’ve had plenty of girlfriends. You know that. Most of them are still my friends. I’ve never deliberately hurt a woman. The very last person I want to hurt is you.”
“But despite your best intentions it could all turn out very differently,” she said quietly. “If we became close, our differences might stand out.’
“Does that worry you?” he asked. “I’ve known you all your life, Alana. I haven’t seen any essential differences. We’re not opposite poles. We both love the land. Not everyone sees it as we do. We need this life. We love Nature. We feel its healing power.”
“It hurts me to know you slept with Violette,” she admitted. “Your affair—whatever it was—lasted quite a while. She must be good in bed.”
A groan came from the back of Guy’s throat. “Alana, even for you I can’t kiss and tell. Did you want me to lie to you? Sex happens. I made no promises to Violette. I didn’t lead her astray. We really weren’t half as close as you seem to think. There’s a thousand times more excitement in touching your cheek.”
“So we’re going to have a sexual relationship?” If so, she might lose herself for ever!
“That’s what I want! I think we’ve gone past the stage where we can remain good friends.”
“Would you like it if I said I’ve slept with Simon?”
He turned his head briefly. “No, I wouldn’t,” he said, unmistakably emphatic. “But you haven’t. I’m thinking Simon has to be the Sir Galahad of the Valley. He adores you. It must have been very hard for him, treating you all this while as his best pal.”
“He is my best pal, that’s why!”
“What would I be, then?” He shot her a challenging glance. “Come on—tell me, so I’ll know.”
She began to count out on her fingers. “You’re a man with a lot of influence. You have a lot of