This one’s for me brother, his name is Dan And he looks like a marshy to the native man!
Mr Gum and the Biscuit Billionaire First published 2007 by Egmont UK Limited This edition published 2019 by Egmont UK Limited, The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road London W11 4AN
Text copyright © 2007 Andy Stanton
Illustration copyright © 2007 David Tazzyman
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted
First e-book edition 2019
ISBN 978 1 4052 9370 9
eISBN 978 1 4052 5928 6
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
Printed and bound in Great Britain by the CPI Group
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Read all of Andy Stanton’s books!
You’re a Bad Man, MR GUM!
MR GUM and the Biscuit Billionaire
MR GUM and the Goblins
MR GUM and the Power Crystals
MR GUM and the Dancing Bear
What’s for Dinner, MR GUM?
MR GUM and the Cherry Tree
MR GUM and the Secret Hideout
Contents
3 Alan Taylor Shows Off Like Nobody’s Fat Business
On Boaster’s Hill
It all started late one afternoon in the peaceful little town of Lamonic Bibber. Summer was almost at an end and the day stretched out long and lazy like a huge glossy panther made of time. The birds chirped in the trees, the rabbits chirped in their burrows, and a fox walked along the railway tracks whistling ‘Greensleeves’ and thinking fondly of a vixen he had once loved.
Up on Boaster’s Hill a little girl sat reading a book called ‘Cobbler Wins The Prizes’. Now this little girl’s name was Polly and she was the sort of girl you could be friends with. She was brilliant at running and jumping and scabbing up her knees and she didn’t have no time for nonsense, OK? She was brave and honest and true and when she laughed the sunlight went splashing off her pretty teeth like diamonds in search of adventure.
But where were the laughter and diamondy teeth now? Nowhere, because Polly was bored.
“Cobbler Wins The Prizes’ is full of escapades but that’s just a book,’ she complained to herself. ‘Nothin’ exciting never happens ’round here. An’ that whopper dog Jake never even comes ’round to play no more!’
For alas, it was true. Polly hadn’t seen big Jake all summer long. Oh, how she missed riding on his huge furry back and pretending he was a horse or a spaceship!
‘Sigh,’ sighed Polly with a sigh. ‘First no adventures an’ now no Jakey. It’s well unfair.’
And with that she lay back in the long grass. The hot sun beat down and