I Have a Question about Divorce. Arlen Grad Gaines

      I Have a Question about Divorce

      A Book for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Other Special Needs

      Arlen Grad Gaines and Meredith Englander Polsky

      Acknowledgments

      Our heartfelt thanks to Suzanne Adelman, Geoff Bernstein, Ellen Braaten, Barry Glassman, Rae Grad, Amy Guberman, Elaine Hall, Amanda Katz, Lori Kole, Karen Mann, Amanda Morin, Lindsey Nesbihal, Manny Schiffres, Joy Sexton, Katie Smeltz, Ray Smithers, Jennifer Whichard, and Jamell White.

      We could not have written this book without the generosity of many parents who so graciously shared their stories and wisdom with us.

      With much gratitude to Jessica Kingsley, Elen Griffiths, Simeon Hance, and the staff at Jessica Kingsley Publishers for their encouragement and guidance, and their passion for creating books that make a difference.

      Thank you to our own families, who continue to support us in immeasurable ways.

      2

      Preface

      Divorce is a difficult topic for any parent to explain to a child, perhaps even more so when the child has Autism Spectrum Disorder or other special needs. Many of these children process information in a concrete manner, prefer established routines, and need support understanding and interpreting emotions. We wrote I Have a Question about Divorce to provide a straightforward resource for children with special needs that takes these considerations into account and seeks to cover the wide range of questions that emerge as a child learns about divorce.

      This book reflects real questions that children have asked as they are learning about their parents’ decision to divorce. As an introduction to the topic, we hope that the book will lay the foundation for future conversations, whether about remarriage, step-siblings, or other life transitions that emerge.

      We believe that special education is just really good education and hope that this book, and the strategies contained within, serves as a resource for all children. Similarly, gender-neutral language throughout the book aims to be inclusive of all families.

      I Have a Question about Divorce consists of three components:

      1. The complete story

      Created with straightforward text and clear illustrations for children who process information best through words and pictures.

      2. Short picture story

      Designed for children who learn best through visual cues, and those who may want to re-read the story and think about it independently.

      3. Suggestions for parents

      Provides ideas for parents in supporting a child, particularly with special needs, through the process of divorce.

      3

      Hi! I’m a kid who likes a lot of things. I like sports, watching movies, and playing games.

      5

      I’m also a kid who likes to know what to expect each day. Most of the time that works out fine.

      Most days are regular days. They go like this:

      I wake up. I have breakfast. I brush my teeth and my hair. I get dressed for school and I walk to the bus.

      6

      I see my teachers and friends and work hard.

       In the afternoon, I come home, do my homework, and play at my house. I eat dinner, take a shower (most nights!), and go to sleep.

      7

      Once in a while, though, something different happens and the day doesn’t go the way I expect.

      Today was one of those days. I learned something new. I learned that my parents are getting a divorce.

      I really wasn’t expecting that.

      8

      Now I have a lot of questions. I’m a kid who likes when there are answers to my questions. Today, I’m asking my questions and some of them have answers. But some of them don’t.

      9