I Have a Question about Death. Arlen Grad Gaines

      I Have a Question about Death

      A Book for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Other Special Needs

      Arlen Grad Gaines and Meredith Englander Polsky

      Preface

      As clinicians working in the fields of hospice social work and special education, we meet countless families of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or other special needs as they grapple with how to process the death of a loved one. We wrote I Have a Question about Death to provide children, families, and professionals with a book that addresses death and grief in concrete and accessible ways, while acknowledging that some questions do not have satisfying answers.

      We hope this book serves as a resource for all children, including concrete thinkers, children who struggle with anxiety, and siblings of children with special needs. We offer it as a resource for therapists, clinicians, educators, and pediatricians, as they address the needs of the families they serve.

      I Have a Question about Death consists of three components:

      1. The complete story

      Created with straightforward text and clear illustrations for children who process information best through words and pictures.

      2. Short picture story

      Designed for children who learn best through visual cues, and those who may want to re-read the story and think about it independently.

      3. Suggestions for parents and caregivers

      Written for the adults in a child’s life, helping them continue the conversation about death and dying.

      3

      Hi! I’m a kid who likes a lot of things. I like to do puzzles, read books, and play on the computer.

      5

      I’m also a kid who likes to know what to expect each day. Most of the time, that works out fine.

      Most days are regular days. They go like this:

      I wake up. I have breakfast. I brush my teeth and my hair. I get dressed for school and I walk to the bus.

      6

      I see my teachers and friends and work hard.

       In the afternoon, I come home, do my homework, and play at my house. I take a shower (most nights!), eat dinner, and go to sleep.

      7

      Once in a while, though, something different happens and the day doesn’t go the way I expect.

      Today was one of those days. I learned something new. I learned that someone I love has died.

      I really wasn’t expecting that.

      8

      Now I have a lot of questions. I’m a kid who likes when there are answers to my questions. Today, I’m asking my questions and some of

       them have answers. But some of them don’t.

      9

      “What does it mean when a person dies?”

       That is my first question. It has an answer.

      When someone dies, it means their body stops working. Their heart stops beating. Their lungs stop breathing. When someone dies, they are not sleeping. They are not eating. They are not hearing. When someone dies, they never stop being dead.

      10