FORWARD:
This moral piece which borders heavily on my mind and that of every human was written to answer a simple question from my philosophy of life… who is a true friend?
The same question remains unanswered in the minds of men for the years past but they have lived on with it because it has not been answered satisfactorily. This book will therefore help the reader to better answer this question satisfactorily, as you read it with an open mind.
It is hoped that this book will make more reasonable sense, as you go through its chapters.
Thank you as you read further to discover who your true friend is.
DEDICATION:
This little piece of work is dedicated, first to God Almighty for His mercies, grace and strength upon my life till date. Secondly to my little daughter – Peace (Dein) A. Alu-Sukubo, who is just seven years old at the time of writing this book. She needs to know her true friend(Grass-Root Friend) and guide herself with the principles of nature written in this book as she grow-up. Darling-Baby ( The pet name I gave you because you are my fist child, so Dearing to me ), I have put together a lot of advises in this book that will build you up as well -respected and responsible figure in the society. To you Darling-Baby and others reading this book, I pray you will always find patience and peace with men before God, for therein lies the key to success in life. My child, I also want you to know that the ideas and wisdoms in this book are from the teachings and instructions of my lovely mother of blessed memories (Mrs Faye Alu Sukubo. Nee Obene) who also thought me the ways of nature. I love you ‘MOTHER’
Emotionally, I dedicate this book to my fiancée (though I will not mention name) whom I thought was my true friend but left for another man, just at the time I and Peace needed you the most in our lives. Baby, I love and will always love you but I cannot reverse the hands of the clock.
INTRODUCTION:
A friend is a person you know well and regard with affection and trust: but who is this person that you can really trust? Who can show true affection? Those people who really have regards for you from the bottom of his or her heart. The very person you know truly well? This has been an issue of the heart since the inception of hatred, betrayals, killings and other crimes against humanity and the divine will of God.
It is God’s will that man will love his neighbor as himself and see every other man as a true friend. As such, the best relationship a man can ever keep is that of a true friendship. A true friend is closer to a man in representation, works, sharing and other works of life than blood relationship such as father, mother, brother, sister and so on. Thus, for some men, their supposing true friend is always their spouse in order of preference and vice versa for the woman. For the child, his brothers and sisters are his true friends in preferential order because those are his closest or most intimate person in the family. Although the Father or the Mother could also be a true friend in the family, a man must be careful in chosing his true friend.
It is my discovery that when one gets out of the family, he tends to be more closer and intimate to his pair or play mates, with whom he can share certain things that he can never share with his immediate family members because he knows, he can trust, regard and show more affections to them. These mates actually mean so much to him, as much as he meant everything to them. Imagine a relationship that is not biologically linked but still stronger than a blood relationship. such is a true friend but don’t be deceived by the kind gesture and fair treatment you receive from many people. Still, you have a responsibility to find your true friend because nothing good comes so easy and trust is earned through trials and proofs.
It is therefore important to state that the true friend is one who is ready to do anything for you at no cost even unto death while rebuking you for your wrong deeds. Such friend can be found in the village, city or abroad. Although, he or she may not have given you anything or done anything for you or probably come to say good things about you to your face but he is always there for you, looking up to you, emulating and adoring you in prayers and mental wellbeing or emotionally. Let me also state here that as you grow in all aspects of life, you must constantly add new friends to or let go some old friends from your records. still there must be at least a friend you cannot do away with on a moral grounds, such is a grass-root friend. I want to conclude by saying that you can never run away from a true friend, even if you lived abroad or work in a foreign land, you will one day come back to him or her in the grass-root ‘death or alive’. Thus the true friend is the grass-root friend.
Chapter 1: Friendship And A friend
A friend is a person well known and regarded with affection and trust. This is someone who you really love naturally with all your heart not for negative reasons but for positive reasons. Of cause, there is a reason for loving another person which is a common factor in man’s nature. Reason has always been the justification for planning, actions, implementations and subsequent success to achieve our dreams and desires in life.Thus, there is a reason for loving but the question is ‘Is the reason natural or not’?
Here, I want you to believe that any reason for loving another man which is positive and in line with the principles and standards of God almighty is a natural reason. Remember, the simple reason why God loves us is to look down on our sins, draw us closer to Himself and to re-establish the father-to-children relationship with us. As it was in the beginning, God created man in His image after His likeness which is natural because God is Nature. Sometimes we hear people saying ‘ I don’t know why I love him but I love him more than I love myself ‘ This is an example of natural love because the reason for loving in this case is natural; a mystery, unknown to the Lover which he or she cannot control) because it was initiated by God. Such loving friends are closer to you than the ones you value most. They can sacrifice all they have just to see you happy. These kind of friends have unique character and life style such as: they rebuke you instantly for any wrong doings against them or other people, they only give you advises that will help you positively in life, they shapen your lifestyle to fit into your future, they ensure your growth both spiritually and physically, they will see that no oppression comes you and would not see you oppress others and so on. They do all of these because they have true love for you.
One may think or feel that such a friend hates you at the moment but in the end, you will come to appreciate their good works in life. Our life’s testimonies will be full of mentioning such friends. Such friends could be your parents, siblings, close relatives, town’s person or stranger but they must fit into the conditions of a true friend in your life. I want to state here that a true friend is better than a family member as will be seen in the next chapters. It is now very important to take a look at love and the rolls it plays in our relationship.
Definition: Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection (noun) or Have a great affection or liking for (verb). Morally: Love is the strongest force of attraction that can ever exist naturally between two persons or group of persons; with God as its epitome. This confirms the scripture that states ‘God is love’. There are different types of love but in this book we will categorize them into four major types:
According to philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle, there are a few Greek words for love, as the Greek language distinguishes how the word is used. Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. However, as with other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words. Nonetheless, the senses in which these words were generally used are given below:
Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means "love," such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you." In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the "love chapter," 1 Corinthians