Forgiveness. FastPencil Premiere

and they always have the community around them.” Ray concludes with a touch of sadness, perhaps even longing for the world he has left behind, “But what about people who don’t have that kind of community? Where do those people go? Where do they find refuge? Where is forgiveness rooted among those who don’t hold to a personal God?”

      Each religion has its own insights and beliefs, many of which are radically different to the unqualified mercy extended by the Amish. “As I understand it, the Jewish response, for instance, isn’t so quick to forgive, and it isn’t so quick to spread love around.” Jeff Jacoby believes that Judaism teaches there are times when it is appropriate to hang on to anger, and that forgiveness has to be earned. “There’s no forgiveness unless it’s preceded by repentance. And repentance isn’t simply saying ‘if I offended anyone I am sorry,’ as politicians do so often when they are caught. It means you acknowledge that you did something wrong, you’re precise about what it was you did, you resolve never to do that wrongful deed again, you make restitution to the extent that you’re able to, and you direct your apology, again as best you’re able, to the one whom you wronged. And for that reason I think that murder, by definition, is unforgivable, whether it’s in Nickel Mines or in any other case where people’s first reaction is to say, ‘we forgive.’ You have no right to forgive. You weren’t the one who was murdered, and the one who was murdered is no longer here. So nobody has that right.”

      For Jacoby this remains one of the core differences between Judaism and Christianity. It can be a tender spot for Jews who have experienced criticism by Christians, as if their insistence on the necessary steps for justice is lesser than the glory of freely given forgiveness. He muses that perhaps, “this is the great divide between the Jewish view of the world and the Christian view. The terrible event at Nickel Mines actually goes to the heart of the tension between them over these tough knotty issues of forgiveness and evil. Please don’t misunderstand me. I believe in forgiveness, but I question whether we can have a healthy or viable society that is based on this premise. Indeed, I found myself thinking how the Amish can only live this way because a few miles down the road there’s a police department that isn’t staffed by Amish people and they are not going to be so quick to forgive when somebody does something wrong. It is easier to survive like that when you are protected by a larger society that doesn’t live that way.”

      There are also Amish members who have left the community and who remarked bitterly on the “unforgiving” treatment that they have received. Some have been shunned by their families and not seen them for years. They wondered why it was easier for the Amish to forgive a stranger who had murdered their children than to forgive their own children who had simply chosen to leave. Interestingly, there were reports that this apparent contradiction was not lost on the Amish. According to Janice Ballenger, “After the massacre some families did, in fact, reach out to their children, trying to repair the breach. It made them reevaluate the depth of the forgiveness they proclaim to have.”

      It does appear, however, that the Amish understanding of unconditional forgiveness reflects their ability to forgive the per petrator without having to forgive the act. A s one Amish woman notes, “When I saw the bodies of the little girls at the viewing it just made me real mad, but mad at the evil, not at the shooter.” This attitude seems to immediately embrace the horror or revolt at what has been done, while also seeing the ignorance with which the perpetrator acted. In turn, this generates the capacity to forgive the ignorance.

      “I knew that if there wasn’t an Amish person in the Roberts home to extend forgiveness that first day, there would be before the next day was out,” says Jonas Beiler. The Amish choose to handle such situations by immediately offering forgiveness. “Though it’s difficult to comprehend how they can forgive so quickly, it’s because it’s woven deep into their culture. They believe that Charles Roberts didn’t know what he was doing. Even if you bring overwhelming evidence to them showing how this man plotted and planned, it doesn’t matter. They don’t believe that the man knew what he was doing. And to some degree they’re right, for a good and sane man wouldn’t think or act in that way.”

      The Amish forgiveness suggests that without it we can become locked in a place of bitterness, emotionally trapped in the story that we have been wronged. Their approach, whether agreed with or not, appears to lead them to a place of inner peace, as some of the parents claim it has. Or it may stifle the healing process prematurely, as some psychologists believe. “But,” as Professor McClay reminds us, “it is important to remember that the Amish understanding of forgiveness is at a far distance from the therapeutic approach dominating our era. It has nothing to do with feeling better in this life. It has nothing to do with asking for a better performance from the person being forgiven. If this occurs, they are wonderful benefits, grace notes. Rather, it’s entirely about making yourself ready for the next life and to present yourself before God in purity, to a degree that makes concerns about justice seem trivial by comparison.”

      Late at night on October 12, almost two weeks after the shooting, the Amish community demolished the schoolhouse. By the time the sun rose, all traces of it had been removed. A new schoolhouse was built not far away, but this time closer to their homes.

      “There was a group of three or four little Amish boys, maybe eight or nine years old, at the counseling session,” remembers Ballenger. “It was a few days after the Amish had torn down the old schoolhouse. The children were whispering together and what they said, I believe, goes to the heart of the complexities and contradictions of forgiveness. I heard one boy say to the other, ‘They can take down our school, they can take away our school, but they can’t take away the things we remember.’ And the other said, ‘Hush, you’re not supposed to say that. You know that we’re supposed to forgive.’”