PRAISE FOR ARCADE
“A keenly-observed meditation on the ins and outs of an adult video store, Arcade is a heartfelt love letter to a very unlikely place.”
— AMY FUSSELMAN, AUTHOR OF THE PHARMACIST’S MATE
“Arcade is a novel that reads with the authenticity and honesty of a memoir. Drew Smith has written a compelling tell-all about a man coming to terms with his sexuality in an unlikely place, a peepshow arcade. I couldn’t stop reading it. It’s a remarkable debut novel.”
— MICHAEL KIMBALL, AUTHOR OF BIG RAY
“Obsessive, dark, and tender, Arcade investigates longing and modern loneliness with care, invention, and a complete lack of fear.”
— MICHELLE ORANGE, AUTHOR OF THIS IS RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE
“Intent, fearless, and funny, Arcade captures a prism of human sexuality, its bliss and its ugliness and its ridiculousness—all at once."
— MICHELLE WILDGEN, AUTHOR OF BREAD AND BUTTER
The Unnamed Press
P.O. Box 411272
Los Angeles, CA 90041
Published in North America by The Unnamed Press.
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Copyright © 2016 by Drew Nellins Smith
ISBN: 978-1-939419-91-0
Library of Congress Control Number: 2016940542
This book is distributed by Publishers Group West
Cover design & typeset by Jaya Nicely
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are wholly fictional or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. Permissions inquiries may be directed to [email protected].
Special thanks to Steve Boren, David Duhr, Monika Woods, and Olivia Taylor Smith.
Sometimes I must go to certain places, if you know what I mean. I pick up the worst guys there. You wouldn’t believe your eyes. Pleasure and mad arousal and terror and disgrace, all in a wild confusion…Someday I’ll be beaten to death, of course. But that can also be appealing. I’m controlled by forces I can’t handle.
FROM THE LIFE OF THE MARIONETTES, INGMAR BERGMAN
All sins are attempts to fill voids.
SIMONE WEIL
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
About the Author
I SAW PEOPLE MENTIONING IT IN THE PERSONALS ONLINE, but I didn’t know anything about it. I didn’t know places like that existed. In the Missed Connections, there were ads that made clear that men were having sexual encounters of some kind there, in what I pictured as a Wild West of promiscuity. The ads said things like, “The XXX place west of town. We’ve played out there before. This time you came in wearing gym clothes. I had to get back to work, or things would have gone further. Tell me what you said about my shirt so I know it’s you.”
In a few posts, a particular highway was named. I drove out looking for it one Saturday afternoon, feeling adrenalized and nervous. I had probably passed the place a hundred time without noticing it. Aside from the red “XXX” mounted near its roof, it was an anonymous-looking building clad in