Nikao's Psalms
by
Nikao Faith
Copyright 2015 Nikao Faith,
All rights reserved.
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-2505-4
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
Loving You
I dreamt of you.
Yes, dreamt you into being.
You tugged each tender heart string,
And I grew larger and larger.
Day after day I waited with bated breath,
Waiting on your arrival was splendid.
Then the day, oh my God, the day,
I thought heaven came to me,
When it was your face to mine,
At last, in front of mine I could see.
Till then, I never knew a love could be so ever fully known!
And so beautiful, immeasurably beautiful,
The most beautiful persons I have ever experienced.
Just to know that some things so beautiful could come from me,
The days I have had before you,
Could not ever compare to the love in its fullness created by your first breaths.
Loving you is so natural, like breathing.
My love never reaches the limit,
Like space it is limitless and unsearchable.
A love that I cannot experience more than twice in my life is who you are.
Pains
I often wonder when, why and how?
When can I see you again?
Why can't I see you?
How it seems like everyone and everything conspires,
Conspires to deprive me of my heart's desires.
But the pains, the pains drive me to yearn even more.
Even though it looks impossible right now,
I must believe that a better day is coming.
Part of my pain is wondering,
Wondering if you feel the same or am I a distant memory?
Far and away from your new world,
Far removed or banished from your memories.
Tell me it isn't so,
Tell me you remember still.
Cause the pains want to stop me.
Every day the empty feeling reminds me of what I long for.
I put a smile on for the world,
I dress like I care,
Yet inside I bleed out all my love.
Yes, I say, yes I am fine,
But I would be gone, if not for the divine.
Time, they say, heals all,
But why do I want to say that I still feel,
As if it was day one.
One day at a time I heard,
Well one day still seems like eternity,
When all I do is yearn for some things so close but yet so far.
How Can I?
How do I move past this ache in my stomach?
How do I get over the lumps in my throat?
How can I possibly make this soul pain easier to bear?
Sometimes my appetite escapes me,
Sometimes I long for reconciliation,
More than I look forward to another sunrise.
I ask myself when the tide will change for me?
When will the sun come up?
When will that great divide be swallowed into the abyss of love and forgiveness?
My love is endearing through the resentment,
Through the indifference,
Through the rejection and,
Through the disrespect.
I can last and make it.
My love will be the balm that heals,
It is the balm from the great physician who guides me second by second,
As I climb from temporary despair to the place of eternal hope, peace and love.
Sovereign
My world seems large around me,
It's like everything is ten times the size,
The size of what it should be.
All components seem out of whack.
My equilibrium seems nonexistent at times,
I stumble through simple daily routines.
Seems like the only thing that is steady is the steady flow of disappointment itself.
It feels like a dark cloud follows each time I move.
Do you really control it all after all?
Do you see everything I do and say?
Are you the invisible thread running through this life,
Sometimes hard to detect but holding all the fragile pieces together?
You will accomplish your purpose even when I haven't a clue.
It's scary sometimes you know but I guess you have it all planned.
The Weight
It's heavy.
It is enough.
I cannot carry it any longer I tell myself.
My tears flow like a river,
There is no dam to contain,
Like a forceful tide they broke through.
There is nothing that satisfies, no substitutes for what I long for.
And my heart bleeds.
I keep hoping that the tears release the toxins of my soul.
No lover or friend can lighten this load that seems like a permanent addition to my frame.
The heavy chains are fastened to my heart.
They say everything gets better in time yet time passes with no relief.
I continue to hope that the invisible hand orchestrating every event knows best.
When I think I can't carry one more thing,
I realize that what I can carry is now much more than before.
My frame seems bent, distorted under the