Copyright
© 2013 by Gene Morris
ISBN 9781456617172
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, copied, stored, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, photographic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or in any information storage and retrieval systems, without prior written permission of the author or publisher, except where permitted by copyright law.
This book is intended solely for dispensing of information of an educational value for the purpose of helping those who read it to restore a failed personal relationship. Application of the information within is recommended in line with a rational and responsible approach to your individual circumstance. If you use the information within to assist with repairing your damaged relationship, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for the results of your actions.
Contents
Introduction
Keep Your Emotions in Check
Where Did it Go Wrong?
Do You Really Want Them Back?
A New You – Mental Health
A New You – Physical
Back in the Dating Game
Contacting the Ex – What Not to Do
Desperation is a Turn Off
Never be Clingy
You are not the Boss
Making Initial Contact
The Face to Face
Things to avoid:
The Next Step
Conclusion
Introduction
Break-ups are always hard. When a relationship ends, it can feel like your world is falling apart, especially if you and your partner were very close.
When a relationship ends it is tough, but when you are not ready for it to be over, it is even harder. Humans make mistakes and nobody is infallible. Sometimes, when we are in a relationship we inadvertently make mistakes that end up causing the other person to leave.
When that happens, it is devastating and people handle it one of two ways. They deflect their anger at themselves towards their ex to anybody else who can be fingered as a scapegoat and the break-up will be blamed on everybody except themselves.
Handling it that way will guarantee that you will not get your ex back and that is not what you want, you want the opposite to happen, to get them back.
Other people are mature enough to realize that they may have made a mistake or mistakes and just did not see it in time.
Perhaps they did not think that the issues were major enough to warrant their partner leaving and now that they are gone, they are miserable, alone and blaming themselves. They want to change and they are willing to change, but will their ex give them a chance?
This book is for those of you in the latter category. If you are reading this and you are thinking, “I made no mistakes. The fault was all because she/he did…” this book is not for you.
Relationships are about trust, understanding, and compromise and if you cannot admit that you had a hand in the break-up, then your ex will not take you back and you have no right to expect them too.
No break-ups are all one-sided. Was your ex at fault as well? Yes, both parties are a factor in a break-up but when you are the one reaching out for a second chance you will get nowhere if you begin to play the blame game.
Knowing that you want to fix a broken relationship is the first step towards being able to fix it. This book will help you take an honest look at what went wrong and what you can do to fix.
You will need to be honest and earnest in your attempts to get your ex back, but it is possible and we will help.
Keep Your Emotions in Check
You cannot fix a broken relationship if you do not know why it ended in the first place. Not every breakup has a defined point in time where you can point and say, “right there that is why we broke up.”
Sometimes it is that clear, such as if one or the other of you had cheated on the other but often you might not even know why a breakup happened. All you know is that they ended the relationship and you do not know why.
Let us be honest here, you must have a little bit of a suspicion as to what the reason is. There are probably many clues but you just are not seeing them and that is normal.
Unless you know what clues to look for, it can be hard to reason out where the relationship went wrong and until you know why it went wrong, you cannot begin to get your ex back.
Breakups are a very emotional time. It is understandable that your emotions are all over the place after a breakup but a great deal of your chances of getting your ex back hinge upon how you act after the breakup.
For example, if you want your ex back but you lash out against them in hurt and anger, they will probably have trouble getting over that.
What you say and do after the breakup greatly affects your chances of getting back together and the excuse of “I was upset” simply does not fly with many people. It is a coward’s excuse and will just anger your ex. Why does that statement make people mad?
First of all, when you say that, it is as if you are excepting to be forgiven for your bad behavior after the breakup simply because you were upset. Being upset is not a valid reason to act out and everybody knows it.
Avoid using the excuse and better yet, avoid the circumstances that might require you to have to use it! Keep a tight lid on your emotions after a breakup and you will not have to do or say anything to have to get extra forgiveness for.
You are already fighting an uphill battle to get your ex back, do not make it any harder than you have to. Bottom line, the best defense in this case is no defense.
Do not argue or get angry with your ex because that will just kill your chances of getting them back. Put your emotions in check and work on your plan to get them back. Channel your emotions into something positive.
The best tactic to take after a break up is to avoid your ex. If you do not go where they go you will minimize your chances of saying things that you do not mean, saying things that you know will make them angry, end up arguing with them, losing your temper and insulting them or doing something that you will regret.
Give yourself time, and them time to cool off. If you continually beg them to listen to your side you will end up coming off as more of a stalker or as being clingy; two things you do NOT want to be associated with.
If you want to get them back, you need to give them time to cool down and calm down. Your approach about a second chance will be much smoother if you give them some time to cool off rather than engage them in an argument and then ask the next day to get back together.
It does not work that way. Resist the urge to call them, text them, email them or to go by their house or where they work. Also, do not bother mutual friends to find out what they are doing, etc.
Speaking of mutual friends, do not slander, insult, or otherwise speak ill of your ex to mutual friends or to anybody because it will get back to them eventually and that will kill your chances of getting back together with them.
That is why you need to have a cooling down period and as tempted as you might be to bad-mouth them to make yourself feel better, you will be shooting down your chances of getting them back while you are shooting off at the mouth and that is no good.
If you run into your ex, simply smile and say hello. If a mutual friends says that your ex asked about you, tell them that you are well and that you hope that your ex is doing okay